Gransnet forums

Chat

...Joke...

(59 Posts)
VB000 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:25:38

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this --- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked and said, "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

icanhandthemback Tue 14-Feb-23 15:11:38

🤣🤣🤣

If I didn't find it funny, I wouldn't comment. It's either to your taste or not but why we need to have insults about it, I don't know.

Dickens Tue 14-Feb-23 15:04:23

Witzend

Dear me, some of these responses make me think - and not for the first time - that some GNers are very prissy.

I’d certainly tell it to dh - I fail to see what could possibly be wrong with that. Unless one is supposed to be too ‘ladylike’ or ‘innocent’ to understand how men produce such samples, but that would be like something from a past era - to me, anyway.

I didn't think the joke was at all offensive - it just didn't make me laugh. Simply a gut reaction... which is presumably how most people respond to any joke.

Some might split their sides laughing at it, others won't... neither are wrong, it is - like lots of things - simply a matter of taste.

Mollygo Tue 14-Feb-23 14:56:18

Last week I was in a minority group. This week I’m part of the lowest common denominator.
I’ll sink even further with something I heard,
*oh what a life without a wife
And only the fire to poke!*

Ziplok Tue 14-Feb-23 14:15:58

Brought a smile, even though I guessed what the punchline would be 😁.
We live in a miserable world, sometimes a bit of lightheartedness helps to try and brighten it, goodness, we need some, and I think this is what this is meant to be, but some others here obviously disagree. Oh well, ever thus is the world.

LadyGracie Tue 14-Feb-23 14:06:17

I've heard it before but still found it funny, not at all offensive to me.

Any more?

HousePlantQueen Tue 14-Feb-23 13:53:17

Oh FFS, It was a joke.

Talk about start an argument in an empty room.

Zoejory Tue 14-Feb-23 13:49:20

Callistemon21

^Who do you judge to be the lowest common denominator?^

Me probably 😂😂😂

I'm in great company then 😀

Callistemon21 Tue 14-Feb-23 13:33:21

TerriBull

Another joke!

😂😂😂

Callistemon21 Tue 14-Feb-23 13:32:37

Who do you judge to be the lowest common denominator?

Me probably 😂😂😂

Zoejory Tue 14-Feb-23 12:59:11

some jokes are aimed at the lowest common denominator in my opinion

Really, lemsip!

Who do you judge to be the lowest common denominator?

Witzend Tue 14-Feb-23 12:54:42

Dear me, some of these responses make me think - and not for the first time - that some GNers are very prissy.

I’d certainly tell it to dh - I fail to see what could possibly be wrong with that. Unless one is supposed to be too ‘ladylike’ or ‘innocent’ to understand how men produce such samples, but that would be like something from a past era - to me, anyway.

Zoejory Tue 14-Feb-23 12:48:09

TerriBull

Another joke!

That made me laugh out loud. Well it was a sort of small laugh but loud.

OP was fine. Raised a smile. My husband also found it amusing

If I ever hear the word inappropriate about a joke I know it will be appropriate for me.

Ashcombe Tue 14-Feb-23 12:43:54

Me three!

Gracesnan Tue 14-Feb-23 12:34:38

Me too!

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 14-Feb-23 12:12:57

Liked that! 🤣

TerriBull Tue 14-Feb-23 12:06:01

Another joke!

Nightsky2 Tue 14-Feb-23 11:36:02

I’m with Sago, I just didn’t find it funny.

Yammy Tue 14-Feb-23 11:03:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callistemon21 Tue 14-Feb-23 10:13:34

Sarah75

Oh dear, arguments on a joke thread……..

😂

Not for the first time, Sarah

MerylStreep Tue 14-Feb-23 10:13:03

Lemsip
Of course there are better things to post on here but most people don’t bother, I wonder why 🤔

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 14-Feb-23 10:10:10

I didn’t guess the punchline. I didn’t find it amusing. I’m with Sago too.

dragonfly46 Tue 14-Feb-23 09:58:31

I laughed!!

Yammy Tue 14-Feb-23 09:49:17

I didn't guess the punch line either, I think I must be naive. Not something I would tell to a friend either and definitely not DH.hmmI'm with Sago on this one.

Witzend Tue 14-Feb-23 09:33:31

I hadn’t heard it before, and I didn’t guess the punchline, either. So 😂, thank you, OP.

Sarah75 Tue 14-Feb-23 09:32:45

Oh dear, arguments on a joke thread……..