A perfect evening with yourself

gigi05
Your idea sounds right up my street, or at least it would have been in the days when my home was full of noise a busyness.
I've had 11 months on my own since my husband died so can please myself anytime.
What I wouldn't give to have him back.
Thats not going to happen so, onward and upward!
Might just have an indulgent evening just because I can. Hot scented bath, face pack and wine with music too I think. 🍷🛁

I would enjoy an evening bath (DH doesn't think that baths are for the evening) and a rare steak - eaten without compunction.

I would probably just sleep, though.

My husband is usually out 2 nights a week at choir rehearsals (sometimes 3 and occasionally 4). To me this is perfect as I can do what I want and watch what I want for a couple of hours!

I recommend relaxing in a warm bubbly bath, face mask optional, light some candles, take a book or magazine and either a G&T or glass of wine. Keep topping up the water, relax and enjoy.

On the rare occasion that I have an evening on my own, I turn the TV off and enjoy the silence! (My DH has it on all day and half the night.)
Then I'd love a hot Jacuzzi bath with scented tealights, followed by a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in bed with a good detective story to read.

Being with close ones is lovely, but so is spending time on your own. Both DH and I now realise that and try to accommodate each other.
I love to go for a walk by myself, but for an evening it has to be watching what I want on the TV without a prolonged debate, or simply reading a good book on the sofa with just a glass of wine for company: bliss.

Saggi You have done wonders for 27 years. Yu deserve all the bliss you can get.

My husband has finally had to go into permanent care after I looked after him on my own for 27 years since his stroke …then dementia…now Alzheimer’s . It was non stop noise in our house ( he couldn’t stand quiet!) from 7 am til 1 am next morning! He’s nearly stone deaf so tv was on Vol 43….I now only need Vil in 14….so that’s been my life! I now have extreme tinnitus and cannot bear loud noises …and I mean the sound of cutlery dropping into its drawer!!! So …I’m on my own …permanent…. and it’s silent…. I’ve dumped the tv ….my life is as close to bliss as I can make it.

It comes all too soon!
I spend most evenings alone since DH died but I am not a hermit so I make sure there's something sociable to look forward to.

I enjoy a relaxing bath listening to the radio.

DH couldn’t understand why I was more than happy when he went down to our son and DGSs for a few days and left me.

I binged on my Kindle, ate what I wanted had breakfast in bed, trundled down to the shops, had a coffee and read the paper. What’s not to like?

Ahh, personal time - a precious commodity.

If you still have family under your roof you’ll just have to request for that quiet, do not disturb space and hope they will respect that.

If you are alone (due to circumstances) you might be living your perfect quiet life already. (I’ve been divorced for over 20 yrs, always knew I was an independent type so my transition wasn’t traumatic.) I’ve come to realize I’m never “alone” - there’s family, friends, and my pet.

My only piece of advice on planning your respite - go with the moment. If you have an agenda it may not happen.

Relax, breathe, reflect, read, soak, sing, dance, nosh. This is your time.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

DH died 3 years ago. Too fast and too young. So I try so hard to be ok with my own company but the evenings and Sundays for some reason are hard.
I hope eventually I'll get use to it.

Husband due to be away for a week for work. Teen off staying with a friend until Thursday. Bliss. I can watch TV during the day without headphones (husband works at home, I’m semi-retired), cook the food he doesn’t like and have a lie in on my days off.
But noooooo 😢
Teen’s driving lesson brought forward so I have to drive a two hour round trip on my day off tomorrow to get them home in time.
No worries I’ll have one night of alone time.

But noooooooooo😢😢
Husband’s train is cancelled and, to cut a long story short, he’s back home and not going away at all now 😭😭😭😭

Have a bath with a good book & a cup of tea,perfect.

My perfect evening is being in charge of the remote control for the television for the evening and watching exactly what I want to watch.

My happy place is the garden and allotment . Recently got another dog and now have the joy of walking her through the woods before work with Andrea Bocelli in one ear absolute bliss

I have been widowed for thirty five years so many lonely evenings. I have outlived all my friends and near neighbours and all my family live miles away and I have been housebound for the past four months.
The last evening that I had company was seven years ago when my daily help stayed with me because I was in terrible pain and waited seven hours for an ambulance. (That was before Covid)

Maybe it’s a question better answered on Mumsnet! Us grans tend to have enough ‘me’ time and, if they are anything like me, would consider an enjoyable evening as having all the family coming round to us for dinner!

Yes Maw, I too used to crave solitude and I am managing after the death of my DH, but I am grateful for offers of company from friends and neighbours. For years we did pancakes with a younger couple and they've invited me for Shrove Tuesday tomorrow, kind people

Me too x

A few episodes of a programme no-one else likes, chocolates and wine. Maybe a pizza if I'm eating on my own. Very predictable - nothing too adventurous! I would definitely prefer not to be on my own all the time I think - although it's heartening to hear from those who are alone but not lonely and have shared the benefits of being able to do what they want when they want .

I’m with poppyred love being on my own. Lockdown was even better. 🌸

madeleine45

One of the few pros from being a widow living alone. Opera from the Met totally uninterrupted to know where something is, knowing that the special thing I have saved for lunch will still be in the fridge, being able to leave a job in the middle, to take a walk, and know that nothing will have been moved while I was out. But top choice will be to listen to wonderful J S Bach probably double violin concerto or st matthews passion and just be in the moment.

Ditto Madeline!!

biglouis

I am always alone, being divorced and childfree by choice. Love it!

Ive just finished an incredibly busy period in one of my online shops. I had to stay up all night to pack parcels. This weekend I am spoiling myself. I went to bed at 2 pm (as soon as Royal Mail had collected) and got up at 8 and had a leasurely shower. Been binge watching a TV series and enjoying doing nothing much.

Tomorrow I will be bored with the TV and probably back to unpacking new stock.

Similar Louis = Until I was hospitalised with a life-threatening illness in 2021 I was much the same - alone for c. 23 years, self-employed and working online. (Though 3 x divorced and 2 sons and 2 grandchildren…. All living far away - one in Japan.)
I have recently started selling but in minimum again, the rest of my time being taken up with TRYING to sort/dispose of old stock and the house to de-clutter - not very successfully. Overall very happy to be alone and do what I want, when I want ALL the time!
I have friends here and away and am never lonely. Love it!

Personally, in your situation, I'd book into the nearest Premier Inn, have a long bath and order in a pizza and wine!