Have just given our car to grandson. Empty drive syndrome.

I never learned to drive. I had a number of lessons but they brought on panic attacks and I realised I was not fitted to be in charge of a car. I have always had some diffculty concentrating on more than one thing at once. When I have a bad panic attack I cant string two sensible words together let along drive a potentially dangerous vehicle.

So at least now I can take satisfaction in knowing I am not contributing to pollution in this city.

I dont go out much now but if I need to go out locally there are plenty of taxis where I live. I use them for hospital visits etc. If I want to go to Liverpool to visit family one of my nephews or nieces will come and pick me up and bring me back. But I cant expect them to run me around locally.

My father carried on driving when he was no longer safe to do so and it was a huge worry. Then he needed an operation and had to give up. They managed thanks to neighbours and local buses, but it was a relief when he did not drive any more. Far too many people carry on driving when they are not safe to do so.
Where I live we have a good bus service into the city, for banks etc. Locally, I walk to the shops, but sometimes hop on the bus back rather than carry shopping. So in many respects I can do without a car, but I would not be able to visit my daughter who lives in a nearby village with no buses, or my son, just a 20 minute drive but two hours by public transport, or go to my choirs unless I begged lifts. I hope I will know when the time comes to stop driving, but I hope for several more years yet.

Personally I try not to ask for lifts unless really necessary unless I am in a position to reciprocate as it can make me feel dependent!
I think most of us would rather offer than ask.

Do none of you who are so dependent on cars have friends or family who could deliver you to the airport or help out sometimes with lifts?
Owning a car, I feel, is a privilege but also a responsibility. I offer lifts to non drivers and also accept lifts when I am offered.
Two friends have offered to drive me to have my cataract operation and take me home after.
.

Greyduster, I don't understand. Yes, I know buses can be a pain but surely there are cabs in your area? If you're not out visiting daily, then you're wasting a lot of money.

Grammaretto, another benefit for the second group should be better health and stronger muscles - as they are likely to walk a little more. Use it or lose it, as they say.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borders_Railway

It depends where you live now, where you want to move to ofcourse but we actually bought our house in a commuter town over 40 years ago because there are buses.
DH was a daily commuter by bus.
We mainly used our car for weekends and holidays.
I am sometimes tempted to downsize and move to a pretty village near the sea but my sensible side tells me that's daft.

I wish our government would invest in better public transport. There were moves towards this before the covid pandemic but sadly that has been a major setback.

When there is investment, it's great.
One of our bus services carries bicycles, has WiFi and feels clean and new.
I go free so what's not to like.

A once defunct railway line has reopened and serves the Scottish Borders for the first time since 5he 1960s. The Waverley Line.

I plan to downsize and move to a cheaper area but am aware that to future proof my life I will need good public transport. Where I live at the moment I've never even used my bus pass as the services are so poor but I know there will probably come a time when I'll have to stop driving. I dread it, but hope that with the right planning it will be manageable. I've used my bus pass in a city when visiting family and hope to live somewhere where that is possible all the time, but I'd still have a car for travelling further afield as long as driving is still possible for me. I also try to stay reasonably fit so I can walk to places that aren't too far. I use my car less as a result.

There seem to be 2 contrasting lines of thought going on.
There are those such as Tamayra and others who want to continue driving forever. It is their independence and they are proud
On the other hand there are those like the OP who wants to do without a car and hand on her vehicle before she has to.
The added bonus for the second group is that they no longer have to worry about either the cost of running a car, the impact on the environment and their aging eyesight and energy levels.

I’ve just driven 2500kms from Cairns to Sydney I’m 80 next month
I managed just fine Drove about 6 hrs most days.
Trusting I didn’t pick up any speeding tickets Time will tell on that one.
Now driving in Sydney traffic
It’s ok as long as one concentrates !
No intention to give up my car although in New South Wales Australia we have to take another driving test at age 85.

Well biglouis. I admire your quick thinking. My dh did consider offering the family next door the use of it. However, I said this would be awkward when the family and others want to visit (they do this at least weekly) as although it is long enough for three cars there is only room for one car to enter and exit.

I never learned to drive and have always had an "empty" driveway unless I have work people in.

A few months back I had a cheeky new neighbour asking if they coulod "use" my drive for an excess vehicle. I told them my initial feeling was no, and if I agreed, I would be charging a commercial rate and wanting a legally drawn up agreement paid for by them. You couldnt see them for dust.

madeleine45

I have driven for 50 years, passing my test in London and 3 weeks later drove to Yugoslavia. Have lived abroad and travelled all over and still feel I am an alert and organised driver. I even took an optional test drive for older drivers and got a very good result. I have spent 10 years , 3 days a week, doing volunteer hospital car driving , taking patients to and from hospital mostly from a very rural area. (For which you have to have a clean driving license and be crb checked ) The observations I would make to people are these. Firstly, I have found so many women end up not keeping up with their driving especially when their husbands retire. Secondly, the assumption that it is a good idea to keep the bigger car if there were two, is definitely to suit the man. I encourage all women to drive at least a couple of times a week, to keep up their confidence and that it is important that they feel comfortable in whatever car they have. So rather than keeping a car that suits the husband but can feel a strain to drive if you are shorter, to do a part x and find a car that suits them both. I also think women need to drive on their own or with other friends and that way you keep up your confidence and belief in your ability to travel anywhere , as you have done for years. It may seem to be a kindness when the husband offers to drive you to the shops etc, but that sets a trend that they are the main driver and may say oh they will do the m ways etc but we all need to keep up our skills. on all sorts of roads and conditions. Also you do notice some men see driving as their job to sort of fill that gap when they retire. And dont allow them to tut sigh or make comments when you are driving. If they do , return the compliment the next time they drive and when they complain , say ditto. or alternatively suggest that they might like to sit in the back, shut their eyes, or take a taxi!!! This is not just being stroppy. As others have said , no one knows what might happen. There may be eye problems or someone has a stroke or an illness that means they can no longer drive. It is not important which partner is in that position. what does matter is that the other person can drive competently and therefore not add that as an extra strain if they need to drive to or visit someone in a hospital. The same goes for living in rural areas. You need to look to the future and decide how you will manage without a car, if you might move and make some plans. I put my money where my mouth is, and whilst I still drive everywhere I have moved into a town where there is a train station and good bus connections should I get to a stage or something means I can no longer safely drive. To me independence is the most important thing. I have been independent all my life, have no doubt made many mistakes over the years but for as long as possible I plan to carry on living in this way and being a confident driver happy to go anywhere , with ability to check the car over, although now I would not choose to change a tyre myself but obviously I belong to RAC , have a garage that I trust to do jobs and look ahead to think what might need doing etc so that I am not trying to organise something in a rush. So I do think it is good to just on your own , look at your pattern of things you do, what you would not be able to do without your own transport etc. Look at the things you would be prepared to give up and the things that matter more and work out how you would be able to continue going, so sharing transport, paying for fuel etc . But most of all for anyone whose partner has not retired yet do look ahead and have a talk to each other as to how you see things might change. There are several people I know who have been very happy to pack up the car and say that they have worked out different ways to do things, and have made a note of the total cost of running their car and then put that as an amount per month that they are prepared to spend on taxis etc. To make a big change is something that needs acknowledging and preparing for , but to me the importance is you both getting to an agreement as to what would be best for you and going on from that.

Lots of very good points and suggestions .
I’m 64 , DH is 67 and we share the driving , both local , long journeys , night driving and motorways . I’ve noticed a number of my female friends only in their 60s , will only drive locally and during daytime . They rely on their DH/DP when driving on motorways or at night . Recently when out for dinner with 5 other couples , I was the only female who was the designated driver.

Yes, of course the empty driveway could be a signal that we are away or old. However, if that does become a problem there are several people around here who would like to use it. However, so far there hasn’t been a problem for those who also have no car in their driveway due to becoming a widow or never having had one.

Well done lovetopaint
You should feel virtuous.
I wish we weren't all so dependent on cars.
We talk about needing to save the planet and yet it seems more cars are on the road than ever.

I lent my car to my DS last summer while he was visiting from NZ. I didn't miss it for those 3 months however I had unwanted snoopers coming down my drive because presumably they thought the house was empty.

I'm awaiting cataract surgery so only drive in daylight and avoid the city.
Like you we have good public transport including free buses.

I thought this was about people knowing you were elderly, carless or just not at home. Security.

I have driven for 50 years, passing my test in London and 3 weeks later drove to Yugoslavia. Have lived abroad and travelled all over and still feel I am an alert and organised driver. I even took an optional test drive for older drivers and got a very good result. I have spent 10 years , 3 days a week, doing volunteer hospital car driving , taking patients to and from hospital mostly from a very rural area. (For which you have to have a clean driving license and be crb checked ) The observations I would make to people are these. Firstly, I have found so many women end up not keeping up with their driving especially when their husbands retire. Secondly, the assumption that it is a good idea to keep the bigger car if there were two, is definitely to suit the man. I encourage all women to drive at least a couple of times a week, to keep up their confidence and that it is important that they feel comfortable in whatever car they have. So rather than keeping a car that suits the husband but can feel a strain to drive if you are shorter, to do a part x and find a car that suits them both. I also think women need to drive on their own or with other friends and that way you keep up your confidence and belief in your ability to travel anywhere , as you have done for years. It may seem to be a kindness when the husband offers to drive you to the shops etc, but that sets a trend that they are the main driver and may say oh they will do the m ways etc but we all need to keep up our skills. on all sorts of roads and conditions. Also you do notice some men see driving as their job to sort of fill that gap when they retire. And dont allow them to tut sigh or make comments when you are driving. If they do , return the compliment the next time they drive and when they complain , say ditto. or alternatively suggest that they might like to sit in the back, shut their eyes, or take a taxi!!! This is not just being stroppy. As others have said , no one knows what might happen. There may be eye problems or someone has a stroke or an illness that means they can no longer drive. It is not important which partner is in that position. what does matter is that the other person can drive competently and therefore not add that as an extra strain if they need to drive to or visit someone in a hospital. The same goes for living in rural areas. You need to look to the future and decide how you will manage without a car, if you might move and make some plans. I put my money where my mouth is, and whilst I still drive everywhere I have moved into a town where there is a train station and good bus connections should I get to a stage or something means I can no longer safely drive. To me independence is the most important thing. I have been independent all my life, have no doubt made many mistakes over the years but for as long as possible I plan to carry on living in this way and being a confident driver happy to go anywhere , with ability to check the car over, although now I would not choose to change a tyre myself but obviously I belong to RAC , have a garage that I trust to do jobs and look ahead to think what might need doing etc so that I am not trying to organise something in a rush. So I do think it is good to just on your own , look at your pattern of things you do, what you would not be able to do without your own transport etc. Look at the things you would be prepared to give up and the things that matter more and work out how you would be able to continue going, so sharing transport, paying for fuel etc . But most of all for anyone whose partner has not retired yet do look ahead and have a talk to each other as to how you see things might change. There are several people I know who have been very happy to pack up the car and say that they have worked out different ways to do things, and have made a note of the total cost of running their car and then put that as an amount per month that they are prepared to spend on taxis etc. To make a big change is something that needs acknowledging and preparing for , but to me the importance is you both getting to an agreement as to what would be best for you and going on from that.

I have macular degeneration and know that in a year or so my eyesight will have deteriorated too much for me to drive, Like others, severe arthritis means that I am unable to walk far, putting the local shops and bus stops out of reach. I am struggling to get rid of things and prepare the house for sale and have no family backup. Being without a car will devastate my social life. Sorry about the moan but you'll have gathered that I dread losing my little car.

Have never driven because husband had company car and wives were not allowed to drive one.
I cycled an walked for miles until I was 80.
Amazed how neighbours use their cars to drive the few hundred yards to get even a newspaper.

Did it 17 years ago when I was 55….didn’t use car only as a giant shopping trolley . Decided to get my own shopping trolly and pull it !
Have had home delivery since it’s instigation! The cost of the car converts to 20 taxi’s a year if needed…..I have a .free bus pass …and a free rail pass ( hubby was a train driver) so it made it a ridiculous expense’!

My mother lived in the country and knew she was dependent on her car. I tried to persuade her to move into the town where I live, but she was enjoying a lovely late-life love affair and couldn't be diverted from that. She was still driving at 85 and one day she smashed into a traffic island and died a week later. No-one else was hurt, but that could so easily not have been the case.
I'm nearly 78 now. I'm just trusting my ACs to tell me when they think I should stop driving. But I have lovely neighbours, I live within walking distance of buses and trains, shops and doctor, so life without a car would be doable.

If I had access to a bus servuce, never mind a good one I wouldn't mind using a bus. I am having to pay £80 each way for a taxi to take me to the airport later in the year, 30 miles away. There is an airport bus from a park and ride 18 miles away but what where do I leave the car for two weeks? Airport parking is about the same cost as a taxi with the added cost of fuel for driving the 30 miles to the airport parking. I envy folk with access to buses. Can't remember when I last used my free bus pass. I live 2.5miles from the town but no buses!

Such a sensible thing to do and quite brave too. I only hope when the time comes I am able to be proactive about this. I live rurally, very limited transport in village but involves a long walk along grass verges, no footpaths to get there. Even if I did this and travelled to the nearest townI would then have a 40-50 min walk to the only family I have locally. Not a workable solution.

I had to stop driving 4 years ago after driving every day (work, shopping, picking family up etc), after driving since age 21, now 72. Due to mobility issues I now have to use a mobility scooter 😔.