Routine or Freewheeling in Retirement?

We have a routine in the mornings, walking the dog together and having a coffee, then each do our own thing in the afternoons. Some of my afternoons are ‘booked up’ in advance eg sewing with a friend, volunteering at the park. But I wouldn’t like the sort of volunteering that ties you down to certain days every week. I’ve left timetabled weeks behind now.
So I’m a bit of a mish mash when it comes to routine.

Sidelined, I've always disliked routines and plans - although they were necessary (sadly) most of the time when I worked. Now, I do enjoy following my moods, feel little obligation to be efficient, get things done or make myself useful - why should I?

I have several projects half done - so flit from one to the other as and when - but not often. I love walking and gardening, so can always find somewhere to go or some 'urgent' pruning to do.

I do have one rule, though - to never do the same as yesterday. Quite often, I'll make myself do one unappealing task (like cleaning one window) before enjoying myself for the rest of the day. Rewards work too, like a favourite lunch or chocolate cake when I actually finish something - a rare event!

I like having a plan really, but being free and single I often change it if I feel like doing something else, or nothing at all.

Ticker tape - ‘busy doing nothing’ is now my a theme. It’s perfect for my days now.

Hetty58 - you are a girl after my own heart - I do the one window thing these days too. They all get done eventually It surprises me how jobs that have loomed over me for ages can get done suddenly and painlessly when Im in the right mood! And I like the idea of not doing the same thing two days running - I can get wrapped up in a project and eventually bore myself so that’s a good idea.

Thanks again, everyone. I always think ‘everyone else’ is busy, busy, busy and it’s just me ‘busy doing nothing’ constructive but now I know we’re all busy being happy! Isn’t that great!

Never had a routine or schedule when DH was alive. Since retirement and before ill health really kicked in we always did what we wanted, when we wanted. Now on my own I am trying to have some sort of routine as in making myself go out to the shops at least once a week etc, doing lots of housework to keep myself busy. I start each day asking myself what I'm going to do that day to give myself a purpose. Easier at this time of year as there's always something to do in the garden.

Husband with Alzheimer’s so retirement didn’t go our way….,routine a’must’ ….I’m bored to death by it all. ! Wish I’d stayed at work!

ParlorGames

I used to volunteer.....until the woman in charge stabbed me in the back in the cruelest, destructive way imaginable. I was in such a dreadful state that I considered taking my own life.

But I rose above her disgusting, manipulative lies and I now focus my energies elsewhere. This is my life and my retirement, if I don't feel like socialising then I don't. I have a lovely group of friends who are of a similar frame of mind - we get together when we want to and check up on one another regularly. We all know who we can rely on.

Something similar happened to me. I volunteered in a soup kitchen and did 18 months. There was a summer break and when I went back the 'boss' said I'd been replaced with zilch explanation. I really didn't know why but much later, another helper told me that she didn't like me fraternizing with the recepients..... I think there are only a few reasons people volunteer, either they are bored and have no interest in the recipients or they want to be able to say 'Oh I volunteer twice a week' to impress their friends or they think it's a trump card for getting to Heaven then there are the (very) few like me who actually come away from talking to people in need, feeling happy and even believing that maybe I made them feel better and were happier too. Even if you had that bad experience and I really know the feeling, It hit me so hard I literally walkedt out and straight into the Red Cross shop next door who, luckily for me, urgently needed a helper. I hope you might decide to do it again - it has a feelgood flavour quite different to socializing with friends.

Yes! Both - routine for the 'musts' cleaning/laundry/basic garden care, fitness class, own grooming etc - gets it done and stops it spreading onto any and every day. Spontaneous for the rest of the time.

knspol

Never had a routine or schedule when DH was alive. Since retirement and before ill health really kicked in we always did what we wanted, when we wanted. Now on my own I am trying to have some sort of routine as in making myself go out to the shops at least once a week etc, doing lots of housework to keep myself busy. I start each day asking myself what I'm going to do that day to give myself a purpose. Easier at this time of year as there's always something to do in the garden.

Fully understand. I work on a support group for people suffering from bipolar disorder so swinging from despair to elation all the time. For both I suggest a strict routine which I myself need to stay sane ! Here's the way it starts: Get up whenever you wake up (unless you work) and jump out of bed and make it/bathroom/kettle on/ open bedroom windows and do 25 deeeep breaths with your eyes closed listening out for bird songs/open your eyes and count how many colours you can see and check calendar/ tea and meds with 2 huge glasses of water/shower with a different gel each week/towel vigourously incl between toes/slap/on gallons of moisturiser/light insence burner etc etc etc finally plug phone in to charge and jump into bed. I also suggest making rituals out of mundane things e.g. housework - as in dusting sitting room on Fridays (for the weekend) kitchen Monday etc etc
Somehow, having this pattern saves me from having to spend time deciding what to do next... tell me what you think?

MrsKen33

Retirement. Do what you want, where you want and how you want. Suits DH and me,

The same with us except for the routine check ups at the Dentist etc.

I could have written your initial comment myself Sidelined 😀

Had this chat with DD yesterday ….. I absolutely love having absolutely no routine, being a free agent and doing exactly what I want when I want. Freedom to travel at the drop of a hat as even my GC don’t need me to look after them anymore 🏃‍♀️💃✈️🛳️ the worlds my oyster ….. bliss ….

Joyce that is a very jaded point of view.

My volunteering is really useful to lots of people (people living with dementia and their carers) and a large part of what I do is 'fraternising' with the clients.

I work with a fair few volunteers and not one of them does it for anything other than trying to help - mostly because they have had a similar experience.

I am about six weeks away from taking semi retirement so am following this thread with interest. My husband is already mostly retired and we are moving about 100 miles away. I am really looking forward to this new chapter in our lives and trying different things. One thing I am hoping to do is to join a good standard amateur orchestra as I have not been able to for many years owing to the fact that, ironically, my music teaching has prevented me from doing so.

I have my first coffee in bed, and I have my hair cut about every six weeks. That's about all the routine I need.

A bit of both. But if I stay in bed too long the black dog hangs around all day. Need that early morning light to get things started. No desire to volunteer having worked for people all my life. No bucket list either. All necessary jobs have to be done in the am while I have some energy. Hope I don’t live as long as my MIL (96 and counting).

Parlourgames,I am so sorry to read this 🥲 and that it got to that awful point for you . That you have managed to get past it is a credit to you 🥰
I retired last year ,I was planning on staying until either my 70th Birthday which was earlier this year or as long as I could. It was a pt role that I had held for 9 years . whoosh a new manager comes along ,I did know her but not as a manager . Promotion went to her head , I was bullied incessantly . it still upsets me x

I freewheel as you put it , My DH still works pt from home .I am finding it quite hard to adapt after retiring last summer . I have become quite lazy ,which I never was . I joined the local spa for the pool & have been doing a college course which I started in January. Creative writing ,I am currently writing our family history while also researching our ancestry .
We have quite a few trips in the UK planned not been abroad since pre covid .
We also have 2 adorable KCC boys TeddynJagger ,they have their own FB page .
I sell random unwanted clothing on Vinted & have just helped my Granddaughter by clearing her wardrobe & making her some ££'s .
I am also busy planning my MIL 90th Birthday gathering (2 in total ) along with 2 family get-togethers for my 8 siblings . one is a week end away & the other a Garden party .
I have thought of volunteering , I applied to the CAB but it was a full 8 hours & working from home at the time I did't think it would suit me as I wanted to be meeting people .
I have a few theatre trips & concerts booked this summer . so all in all I think a few lazy days aren't too bad 😹

Parlorgames. 💐

Only fixed points in the week are a half day volunteering in our local charity bookshop, seeing my friend on a Thursday evening and going out for tea on a Friday night - something DH and I always did when we were working. Other than that I aim to go swimming three mornings a week. DH has bowling commitments during the summer and also plays darts all through the year. Nothing though that can't be changed around. Spare time is taken up with crafts and I also make quilts for our Linus group [quilts go to children in hospitals]. I do think that it's helpful to have some structure to hang your week on, but nothing is set in stone. Medical appointments can impinge so I do make DH go through the diary with me each week. I tell him that if it's not in the diary, then it's not happening. It is lovely when you get a totally free day with nowhere you need to be. Retirement is more than I hoped it would be - in a very low key way. I count my blessings.

I free wheel most of the time but I'm around to help my family and friends or volunteer when and if I'm needed.

A mixture, really. Having worked for 40 years I just do as I please.

We are both loving retirement! We have some days with a schedule - volunteering/Gchildren - and others where we please ourselves.
However we usually have our meals together at the same time each day and structure activities around that spine. We do puzzles at mealtimes - sometimes lunch can extend to teatime!

Ah Joyce, I volunteer buts it’s just for me, not a feel good image thing at all!
I have a loose routine going too, all housework to be sorted on Monday morning. Minor bits as and when.
Dreading himself joining me full time retired later this summer as he will try to take over all my favourite duties. If I offer him dusters and things he doesn’t like …….. he will shop and buy things that I don’t want or already have. So his routine will need to be sorted quickly too.