Opinion or judgement? Which one?

Judgement doesn't necessarily lead to estrangement, it depends on the ethos of the family when faced with disagreements yes it does M0nica and the individuals that are part of any family.

DS and I disagree on many issues and always have. ES son and I agreed on practically everything.

Judgement doesn't necessarily lead to estrangement, it depends on the ethos of the family when faced with disagreements.

I had a friend with a big family and almost any disagreement led to huge rows and estrangement. Her mother didn't speak to one of her own sisters for 30 years after a row, reconciled just before she died, but in the intervening year fell out with another sister who was then banned from the funeral.

My friend lost many friends that way. She tried it on me after a car journey where she demanded that I gave her instructions, a bit like a human sat nav and then chose to ignore them so that we got lost. She shouted and abused me, but I refused to respond until I asked her whether the cause of the row was sufficient to destroy a 25 year friendship. It wasn't, It didn't ,

But our family didn't have rows over opinons, or judgements, we might try to see someone less, or avoid certain subjects or grit our teeth and put up with a difficult relative, but rows and estraangement weren't in our repertoire, while for my friend they were hard wired in. The causes of the disagreements were irrelevant.

I have no experience of estrangement but I imagine an opinion expressed aggressively could count as a judgment.

Judgement is generally a flat statement that does not allow for contradiction: it is wrong to.....

Opinion is generally: well, I think..... and does allow for discussion.

Could it be that the word and/or notion of judgment carries a tone of moral disapproval and criticism that opinion doesn't?

So being judged is what starts the process of estrangement?

Lathyrus

Opinion becomes judgement when it becomes the only acceptable view and any alternative becomes a deficit in the person expressing it.

I’ll give you a past example from my MIL

What are you eating?

Olives.

Ugh. Nasty.

I like them.

No they’re nasty.

Well I like them.

Oh well you would.

Yes, that is really interesting. I can see what you mean. It sort of becomes their way or no way. Thank you for your example.

Opinion becomes judgement when it becomes the only acceptable view and any alternative becomes a deficit in the person expressing it.

I’ll give you a past example from my MIL

What are you eating?

Olives.

Ugh. Nasty.

I like them.

No they’re nasty.

Well I like them.

Oh well you would.