unexplained bruising starts a panic!

At 3 children often don't know what happened and how it was caused. My eldest at Preschool came home with a large red wheel across his cheek saying Aunty Barbara did it (the Preschool staff) I went to see them and what really happened was a boy known to be violent had hit my eldest with a metal toy car. Aunty's Barbara had rightly applied a cold wet compress to ease the swelling. But my eldest only remembered that part. Another mum who was helping at the time confirmed they saw it happen.

Definitely, don’t lie. Lies have a habit of getting found out, and that ends badly.

MummyJoJo62

Thank you everyone. What a great place this is!!
I think nursery were worried they were going to get the blame so jumped in first
He did not have a bruise at 7 30 in the morning but did have one by the end of the day! However its their word against mums isn't it? I think it was because no-one could come up with a reason that it all got over reacted but my dd is very traumatised!
I reckon next time he gets an unexplained bump on the head or graze on his knees we have to make something up!! It definitely won't be that last accident hell have after all!! Thanks again lovely Granniesxx

I wouldn’t start deliberately telling lies to the authorities, unless you are practiced in the art.

Take a photo each morning with a close up of his face if it helps you feel more secure. It sounds odd and as if the nursery are covering something up. If it’s an option I would find a new nursery.

We moved area when 2 children were under school age. Had registered and attended GP for tge usual sore throats, ears, measles (before vaccine). Just before coming up to school age I wondered about their booster vaccinations and phoned Dr practice. No record of children for this. Within 15 minutes I had a senior health visitor at my door wanting to see the twins. She came in, asked to see them, they were busy painting outside. I told them soneone wanted to see them in the house. I had to chuckle at their response, Well we're busy she'll have to come here. She did! An appointment was arranged for a pre school examination by a Dr. Of course it had to be, two days before one of them had a mishap on his bike and had a beautiful bruise on his hip when see saw the Dr. A hand went up to me indicating do not speak, and hecasked DS what had happened. He got the full story of racing his brother and crashing. Way back tgen bruising was treated as suspicious especially when children weren't on the health visitor system. Think nowadays even more so. Dr accepted explanation, no problem. Chat with the nursery on what is their responsibility in relation to injuries may be helpful. Sorry this is so long, the incident lives in my memory.

Do not change nursery. They seem to be a good one, and following CP rules and regulations.

Surely, it is better for a hundred innocent parents/carers are interviewed about an unxplained injury to a child, than one serious case is missed.

A few years back, my Son in Law was checked by SS. One of his children (aged 7 yrs old) was seen to have carpet burns on their back I (seen at school whilst changing for PE lesson). She was asked how this had happened and blithely said 'Daddy did it'!!! Therefore alarm bells!!!

What had actually happened, is that she had been having a sulk (she was a champion sulker) and lying on the landing floor at the top of the stairs. Dad had asked, several times that she move so that he could take baby down the stairs safely for his breakfast. She refused and eventually he had put baby down, and stretched out towards her (meaning to remove her from that place), she had pulled away, lost her balance and fallen down a few stairs before he had managed to grab her and prevent her falling further. However, as she was not wearing much a the time, (she was sulking as she said she did not want to get dressed), she had substained that carpet burn.

This was made all the worse, when both her parents tried to explain toher after the SS visit what it was all about, and perhaps she shoudl think more carefully before telling teachers it was Dad (or Mums) fault in future. So, when a couple of weeks later a teacher asked if everything was okay at home she then told them that she was not allowed to talk to them about that!!!

Okay this all happened several years ago and this 'child' is happily esconsced at University now.

To my mind I am so happy that SS are doing the job they are supposed to do. So many of them have such serious hsortage of staff they are unable to follow up such reports. Surely, prevention is so much the best policy.

Mandated reporters.Every nurse,doctor,teacher,bus driver.
They can be held accountable if it was abuse and they failed to report it.

I had twin boys who were always falling over and bashing into things and each other! We had many visits to A & E and during a particular few months I attended 3 times… twin A was bitten by a dog, then knocked over , then twin B fell out of a tree and broke his arm. On the last occasion, I was greeted by name by one of the nurses, which didn’t look good for me, as she thought it was the same child… they are identical! I lived in fear of social services knocking. My first question would have been, have you ever had boys? I was never at the hospital with my older girl!

MrsKen33

I was the designated teacher for CP at my infants’ school. We logged any unexplained bruising and indeed anything a child said that might be worrying. SS were informed after a third worry of any sort was raised.

I think this is a much more sensible approach certainly not on the first sign of a bruise
If the social workers are going to every bruise, no wonder there are no social workers left to follow up real harmful situations

One of my son's hit his head on a bit of display in a shoe shop. I took him to the GP - 25 years ago, back in the days when you could get a same day emergency appointment - and the GP was sarcastic and very rude and insisted it wasn't an appropriate reason for an appointment as boys got bruises. Huge bruise on his head and nobody concerned, how times have changed!

One bruise shouldn’t have attracted social services. I work in a private nursery and it would have been a few bruises and unexplained. Don’t see how this has happened.

Get your daughter to take him to the GP as this may be him having a low platelet level which can cause unexplained bruising...am sure its nothing but worth a check

I’m sure nursery and school staff are trained to enquire about these things in an appropriate and sensitive manner.

The poor little guy may be intimidated by the inquiries about how the bruise happened. Asking what happened, or where did that bruise come from might not make any sense to a small child. I call my granddaughter my adventure babe, (just like her Daddy was), and if she sports a new bruise or scab, I'll ask what the adventure was, and leave it at that, and not create worry for her. Half the time the injury is lost in the mist of time (10 minutes or 10 hours ago). She has gotten over it, and is moving forward to the next adventure.

I was the designated teacher for CP at my infants’ school. We logged any unexplained bruising and indeed anything a child said that might be worrying. SS were informed after a third worry of any sort was raised.

I’m another saying if your grandson is happy at the nursery the parents shouldn’t change it. Apart from anything else it would be another marker for SS or HV. (Why have parents removed their happily settled child just after nursery reported a possible safeguarding incident?)

Much better to be the parents who are confident that both they and the nursery have behaved correctly.

Presumably they read the nursery’s policies and ts & cs and signed to say they had, when they booked a place for their son. They will know the nursery has a duty of care and is obliged to notify safeguarding authorities if a child presents with injuries that cannot be explained. It is distressing and embarrassing but better to investigate and be proved wrong than not to investigate and miss another child abuse case.

We live in a very different world now from when ours were little. Some things are more worrying but safeguarding should not be one of them.

He should have had legal representation from the outset.

I hope so GSM, in the meantime no contact, mounting legal bills (she gets legal aid, she’s an abused woman because he didn’t tell her how much he earned and he offered to take care of her when she fell pregnant a few weeks after they met). He didn’t have a solicitor at the initial hearing and although 8 of the accusations against him by her were clearly unsubstantiated, the financial control was found against him, also emotional abuse as he’d asked her to have an abortion. She told him not to bother with a lawyer and then ambushed him. I do wish the playing field was more level. The initial order cost him £40k. How men cope with this I do not know, he is at the lowest I’ve ever seen him. It’s so sad. Hopefully a barrister and full legal support this time will actually mean lower costs as we won’t be playing catch up. But people like this must make genuine abused women sick. She now has free legal aid for any matter related to family courts. She’s clever but awful. I could say a lot but of course I will not. I know this is the wrong forum to discuss so I’ll leave it there.

The social workers who work with family course are pretty astute. The woman sounds slightly less than the full shilling.

My SIL’s ex has been reported three times for hitting the children, twice by the school he attends and she (then) was working. They called police and SS and nothing was done as she refused to cooperate. She has now accused SIL of causing unexplained injuries, one was a splinter, which she said he should have gone to A&E for! The other was perfectly explained at the time. He has had access rights taken away while an investigation has been undertaken and now has to go back to court (many thousands of £ to regain access, which was stopped by the mother). SS are well aware there is no issue with the dad and have said they are very concerned about mum’s mental state but he may still lose access, despite having done nothing to deserve it. The solicitor says that no one can predict the family courts. It’s unbearable to be accused (totally without foundation and be cleared) and not be allowed to the children that the ex has been found to cause harm to. The world has gone mad.

agree with GSM, and her previous comment.

Surely it’s better that a nursery or school reports than child cruelty and abuse goes undetected?

If you had read the recent news about the parents who killed their 9 year son by holding him underneath the bath water amongst other things, even though many people had reported them to the authorities over a long period of time, I think you would understand why many of those involved in child care are very much on the alert.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12190697/Ten-missed-opportunities-save-Alfie-Steele-neighbours-pleaded-police-teachers.html

Thank goodness not all nurseries are so jumpy. My DGS is not quite 4, and permanently covered in bumps and bruises. He has no sense of danger or self preservation, tell him not to do something and as soon as you've let go of him he'll do it twice, hurt himself, get up shrug and try to do it again! I feel for your DD and her family xx

The nursery is caught between a rock and a hard place now safeguarding has become such a stick for Ofsted to beat education providers with. Do they report everything to cover themselves and risk upsetting parents? Or do they exercise common sense but risk an ‘inadequate’ Ofsted rating.

Jesus! My 11 year old granddaughter was often covered in bruises when she was that age ….nobody said a thing ! Change nurseries.