Weddings of yesterday and today.

My partner and I are 74 and 70 and have been together for 27 years. We’re getting married (just us) next month but not telling anybody yet so we don’t have too much input. We’ll have a blessing and a party later. My first wedding in 1969 was awful, pushed into it because my father was terrified that we were sleeping together ( which we were, but still…). It lasted 12 years, the longest years of my life.

Aww, Grandmama, I am so sorry to hear that you have just lost your DH, may he rest in peace. Sending you heartfelt condolences, hoping and praying that you have loved ones around you, to comfort and support you at this sad time. Take care.💕🙏

I am so very sorry Grandmama. May he rest in peace and may you find comfort in memories of your long life together. 💐

We had a small wedding (12 guests I think) as DH felt unable to cope with a large gathering. I made my wedding dress, had a borrowed veil, did my own hair and make-up. Church service followed by lovely meal in local hotel, FinL saw to the ordering and purchase of the cake. DH's parents didn't want anyone going back to their flat so everyone went home. It was 45 years ago - sadly DH died yesterday morning.

I find it rather strange when couples who already have a child (or even several) say they can't afford to get married. What they mean is that they haven't got a lot of money to spend on a big do. A big do is not really necessary IMHO. A wedding should be about a commitment between two people, whether it is in a church, a registry office, or on a beach in some exotic location. DH and I got married very quietly with just a few guests and have never regretted it. My parents were not happy but we held out for a simple do. Still together 50+ years later!

I'm of the 'keep it simple and save cash for the big stuff' brigade.

All weddings should feel special to those involved but the process can turn lovely, reasonable people into rabid control monsters (my sister-in-law over her daughter's wedding), bankrupt the families (friends whose credit cards are still bulging a year later) and leave the guests feeling under pressure to fork out more than they want to for the (almost inevitable) 'special honeymoon.'

Growstuff, all praise to your daughter for her arrangements and can I wish her & her intended all happiness.

My and my DH plan was to marry in the local registry office before we moved away due his job and hence live together. I come from a forces family and my Dad was deployed so couldn’t attend, neither could the remainder of my family, hence our decision. Our plan was to have a Church marriage blessing when everyone could attend. However, the decision was taken out of our hand by the MIL who insisted that no son of hers was getting married in a registry office. I was shy and timid back then so didn’t fight back. But we should just have left and done it our way. I never did get my special day wearing a dreamy wedding dress, but we did plan to renew our vows when I would have got my chance, but sadly DH passed away before his time. Still hurts even though it was years ago in 1974. Moral of the story is go with your gut, and don’t let others interfere.

Husband and I married 8 years ago. Local registry office, 2 mates as witnesses. M and S velvet dress. Bottle of fizz at a local restaurant and out for an Italian that evening. Cost about £150.

I married in winter 1966. Birmingham Register Office followed by a simple lunch for close family & friends in a room above a pub. My wedding outfit (beige shift dress with matching coat over it) came from Rackhams. I had to borrow half the money for it from my mother until next pay day. Honeymoon (2 nights in a posh hotel in the Cotswolds) was generously paid for by my father-in-law.
We returned from honeymoon to two rented rooms (and shared bathroom) at the top of a big house near Alexandra Palace and saved like crazy to get a deposit to buy a maisonette in Enfield. It was the norm then and very doable despite high interest rates.

I feel desperately sorry for young people today, many of whom will never get on the "housing ladder". However, I get annoyed when I hear some of them talking about struggling to save up for years for a lavish wedding, a Caribbean honeymoon etc. The big difference in 1966 of course was that we could not have lived together before marriage so there was a strong incentive to book the wedding!

Married abroad in 1969. Only my Mum could afford to fly out but I had made friends in that country so had a few people. Due to religion my husbands family did not attend the church ceremony but some came to the ‘reception’ at a friend’s house. Husband had put his suit in to be dry cleaned but when he went to collect it the morning of the wedding the shop was closed! Luckily he had an old suit that he hastily ironed although it was at least 2 inches too short! My dress was high necked satin covered by a lace coat with a train. My younger daughter wore it for her wedding in 2008. All my children’s weddings were much more lavish and expensive but they will always have those memories of a glorious day.

I was married not long after, or was it before, the meringue era.
I think the dress was nice. The kids giggle.

My bridesmaids are still my best friends, so that is lovely.

1966. £12 wedding dress from C&A. Marriage lasted 7 years - just! Not married since nor wanted to but if I was it would certainly be very low key.....

Margaux ds1 got married in Japan. The bride wore orange and they entered the ceremony to the Theme from Star Wars.

We married in 1971 , my Wedding dress was in the sale £12 ! As was the fashion with long sleeves and high neck . I really don’t like the bare look of today’s dresses My mother made the two bridesmaid dresses also with material in the sale . A family friend made the cake .The reception was at my parent’s house and garden with about 50 guests I think . It was so cold (June!) I wore a long sleeved vest under the dress . We all crammed into house and had sandwiches, sausage rolls and cake I think, I don’t remember eating anything . We left as was the tradition early and stayed in a hotel in London before getting a plane to Yugoslavia with “Yugotours”’ I remember my parents being very anxious about us going to such a strange country!
The wedding was simple as were both our AC’s , they both had been living together for some time before marrying and had bought their first flats together. My 3 nieces had very over the top weddings a strongly religious family , never lived together prior to the wedding . Two are now divorced and remarried and the other seems to be going the same way 😐.

32 years ago, my Spanish husband and I, were married by the Justice of the Peace, at the Madrid Capital Courthouse.

We did not wish to do a Roman Catholic Church Wedding.

We preferred an extended honeymoon. 1st stop enchanting Venezia and 2nd extended trip took us to memorable Japan ..

45 years ago, when I first married, I think weddings were more family events. Traditionally the bride's father paid for the reception and the groom's father usually chipped in with money for drinks. Because of this, by far the majority of the guests were family members and perhaps also friends of the parents (particularly if they'd been invited to their childrens' weddings). Guests of the bride and groom were usually confined to friends as bridesmaids, best man and ushers. Over the years, evening receptions have become popular so that those outside the family circle can be included in the celebrations, but perhaps the biggest difference is that the bride and groom now often pay for the wedding themselves. If they do so then, of course, they are entitled to invite whoever they wish but this often results in family members being excluded in favour of friends and work colleagues. The worst case scenario, in my view, is when the bride's parents pay for everything, but are allowed no say in the guest list. The whole thing becomes a social media opportunity and little to do with bringing families together for a happy celebration, which I think is sad.

We were just saying that in the 60s and 70s it was quite common for the bride and groom to leave the reception part way through the evening with everyone wishing them well as they set off on their honeymoon. There’s no way I’d do that now - missing out on all the fun at my own party!

I wish they would marry...sorry!

We married in November 85, in the local Methodist, not through belief but the only other choice was an Abbey with no heating. My dress was £150 paid for by a tax rebate, mum made 3 bridesmaid dresses, 2 of whom she didn't meet until the day before the event. We hired a car (wrong one turned up), cake was made by a local baker but was nothing like we ordered. The reception was in a hall in town and we did a self catered sit down for 35 followed by an evening buffet for 100. No honeymoon but still going...

I didn't believe in children before marriage until our DGS was born, now it is their choice. Irish they would marry, but I don't actually like my DD's partner.

How very different weddings are now …..we were married 59 years ago in a beautiful church on a lovely summer afternoon ….the church was affiliated with the infants and junior school I went to as a child (and years later the same church where both our children were christened). My parents paid for everything…my aunt made the three bridesmaid dresses, and the reception for about 70 friends and relatives was held in a private hotel that was owned by good friends of my parents. We left the reception for our honeymoon after the meal and speeches and spent the night in a hotel close to the airport ( which seemed so luxurious to me at the time) and the next day flew to Jersey for a two week honeymoon ….where we stayed in a room over a Chinese restaurant with a view out of the window of a crooked brick chimney! Funny the things you remember after all these years!

Our wedding (1968) was truncated as my father had recently passed away. I still have my Pronuptia dress but it seems to have shrunk drastically whist in its box...

Marrying from different religions we had a Registry Office wedding with only family attending (and I heard the 'well, she doesn't look pregnant' comments whispered from the crowd that had gathered outside - I wasn't but at that time it was common for pregnant brides to use Registry Offices!).

Our reception was in a good hotel with catering by a well-known upmarket company but... it was only canapes, sandwiches and pastries. We were allowed ten of our joint friends with the remainder of guests being family. The reception concluded by 6.00 p.m. and my sister drove us (no car then) to our new home (fitted out with a bed - present from my mother, and a second-hand sofa from my husband's family. The 'fridge was built in but we had absolutely nothing else - but didn't understand how little we had. We were very happy).

Our honeymoon was to Ibiza, paid for by my father-in-law but my husband forgot to pack most of his clothes, so that was interesting....

In contrast, our elder daughter's wedding was a country house hotel affair and we were allowed ten sets of friends as the remainder of the 110 guests were the couple's friends! We can't win. We paid for everything at both daughters' weddings, the 'other side' paying for nothing. I don't think we are good at managing people! The above wedding lasted twenty years but the second daughter's relationship is still going strong.

Of course money does not equate with happiness. We are all consumers and poor brides are led to believe that unless they have the huge wedding and outdo their friends, they won't be as happy. Very wrong.

1975…my Grandma saw a wedding dress that was half price & bought it for me - luckily I liked it & it fitted! My husband to be saw a wedding ring - yes - half price! My mum did the buffet at home for 30 guests and I made the 3 tier cake. My parents gave us a sum of money “for a wedding or for a house” we bought a lovely little first house and still had a wonderful wedding day. I was honoured to be asked to make my son’s wedding cake, but the comparison between the 2 days stops there ( although they did have a wonderful day).

I think there is a difference in getting married and having a wedding. Too much money is spent on the wedding which is 1 day and not enough time to think and prepare for the reality of getting married and what it means.
Just my view after 1 failed marriage when I was very young.

Commitment and security Fae. I hope they have all made wills - unmarried couples have no inheritance rights.

Yes, Germanshepherd'smum - I think you're out of touch. My neighbours on both sides are well into their fifties, early sixties and have brought up a family - now about to start families of their own. Not a wedding amongst them! Also my son and partner together for 20 years with two children. Have no intention of getting married - what for?