Tracking On Phones.

It seems to me that people throwing their hands up in horror at the very idea have failed to understand that if you don't want it on your phone, you can refuse to install it in the first place, pause it, or just delete the bl**dy thing.

It's also really good to question new developments this doesnt mean we are against them. I wish people had done some more questioning about the impact of say plastic surgery, porn etc.

I use technology all the time, it's certainly not that kind of issue with me. I think people struggle with understanding that some people really value privacy etc.

My family (all grown adults) share their location with me through “find my friends” It’s reciprocal (only way it works). We have no problem with knowing where we all are. I find it comforting.

NotAGran55

When I read on here how invested some people are in their adult children’s lives I’m not surprised to read that people also snoop into their lives by tracking them on their phones.
I can’t think of a single reason why an AC would want their parents to do it.
Keeping an eye on youngsters or vulnerable people for safety reasons is one thing, but on adults otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️?

I think I gave you a couple of reasons why I, personally, like to use this technology.

I repeat, the difference in attitude seems mainly "generational". Changes usually are. This conversation reminds me of all the times in the past when we would have heard the same comments about cars, phones, televisions, CDs, smart phones, video games, smart TV, oneline GP consultations, etc., etc.

In life, because humans use these things, nothing is all good or all bad. We simply get used to them and the improvements they make to our lives and legislate for bad people using them.

But some will always want something to complain about. I expect it will be me at some point but personally, I find this occasionally useful and really don't think we need to attack people for being "over invested" in their family etc., just because you haven't yet found it useful.

People have gone centuries without the compulsion to know exactly where adult offspring were down to the moment. This is an example of technology run amok. It is in fact tracking. It’s one thing if your children are minors. It’s another ball game entirely for adults to do this with other adults who are perfectly well functioning. Unhealthy indeed. Cut the cords when it’s time, people.

I feel bad for the partners of these young men. I find this to be creepy and enmeshed. I really think the parents in these situations have mental health issues that they’ve projected onto their children well into adulthood. This is so over the top.

Not weird. Tracking is an inappropriate description, I think.
I use it to see where my DD is so I can gauge what time to have her children ready for collection, or when to return them to her home - yes, we have a house key to hers too.
Similarly, I can check if DH has remembered to collect the GC from school, or to gauge what time other children will arrive when visiting. Helps me plan my activities then and be ready for their arrival.
I don’t track them minute by minute, day by day. I expect they look to see where I am to see if it’s convenient to call.
It’s convenient and suits us all. If they, or we, don’t want it, it’s easily turned off, but we find it more useful than not.

Modompodom

My daughter used to track my granddaughter, now aged 20, as she is vulnerable, but my granddaughter eventually switched off tracking on her phone, so my daughter has to hope for the best. GD is at Uni now, and we have had some incidents, but her housemates look after her. Tracking would be peace of mind, but she is an adult, so we have to respect her wishes.

... difficult.

You can see both sides. I'm sure your daughter worries (and you) but, as you say, you have to respect your GD's wishes. At least she's in an environment where there are, hopefully, others who will watch out for her.

My daughter used to track my granddaughter, now aged 20, as she is vulnerable, but my granddaughter eventually switched off tracking on her phone, so my daughter has to hope for the best. GD is at Uni now, and we have had some incidents, but her housemates look after her. Tracking would be peace of mind, but she is an adult, so we have to respect her wishes.

The location apps are a two way process so each person is aware and consents. Whatsapp has a useful feature that sends you location to another person and you choose how long it should last from 15 minutes to couple of hours. Handy if meeting an acquaintance in a busy venue.

My daughter and I track each other… we are currently on an extended narrow boat holiday….it works really well my daughter knows exactly where we are and can always find us if she wants to visit with the grandchildren.

Totally out of order. In agreement with MOnica, children will be tacking us as we become needy.🤣🤣

I had a married friend who, unbeknownst to me, had been seeing another man at the golf club. Her husband became suspicious, tracked her phone, and was able to confront her with her subterfuge and it all came out.
They are still together, oddly enough.

My daughter can track me, with my permission (not that I do anything remotely interesting!). I don’t track her as the 3/4 phone calls I get a day (often to let off steam!) keep me up to date with her doings! I don’t think the other two track me but I don’t really care; I don’t track them either! I live alone and it is quite reassuring to know that someone is looking out for me. I imagine it might be useful for parents to track teens although I bet it is a bone of contention- it definitely would have been when mine were growing up.

No exactly fancythat. Quite reasonable that you wouldn't want to know about the routine stuff of daily lives, but if you needed to meet up (for example), it can be helpful to be able to look and see where everybody is.
However I do think that there multiple ways in which people are over-invested in the lives of their adult children. It doesn't have to involve a smartphone. 😂

I long ago gave up thinking some families were unusual.
People all do things differently.

If families are happy with it, like it, find it useful whatever, then I cant see a problem.

Personally I woulnt want to know my daughter has just gone to the supermarket or something, but other families love that type of thing.

It obviously works for you and your family Mamie
I hope you have better news to share with them soon 💐

NotAGran55

Using an app for travelling purposes on a specific journey is a completely different thing to permanently tracking a phone Mamie
When I send messages to my family they pick them up when it’s convenient to themselves, I don’t need to know where they are before I do it. They manage their communications themselves.
At the end of the day providing all parties are happy that’s all that matters.

You are only checking the location of the phone if you look at the app. If you don't open the app you don't know where they are.
The messages I have been sending relate to serious illness and if they saw it arrive they would look immediately. That is why I pick my moments.

Using an app for travelling purposes on a specific journey is a completely different thing to permanently tracking a phone Mamie
When I send messages to my family they pick them up when it’s convenient to themselves, I don’t need to know where they are before I do it. They manage their communications themselves.
At the end of the day providing all parties are happy that’s all that matters.

NotAGran55

When I read on here how invested some people are in their adult children’s lives I’m not surprised to read that people also snoop into their lives by tracking them on their phones.
I can’t think of a single reason why an AC would want their parents to do it.
Keeping an eye on youngsters or vulnerable people for safety reasons is one thing, but on adults otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️?

We share a family location app. I look at it to see where my ACs are in the following circumstances:
If they are on their way to see us in France, to check on their progress to see what time they are likely to arrive, especially when there are delays at Eurotunnel. If I am travelling to see them we use the location app to ensure that we meet up smoothly and can find each other in the car park. At the moment I also use it to check when is an appropriate time to message with news relating to illness and hospitalisations.
My family trust me and know how and when I would use the app. I also trust them, but if they were concerned about our wellbeing I would have no problems with them checking to see where we are.
Hope this helps.

When I read on here how invested some people are in their adult children’s lives I’m not surprised to read that people also snoop into their lives by tracking them on their phones.
I can’t think of a single reason why an AC would want their parents to do it.
Keeping an eye on youngsters or vulnerable people for safety reasons is one thing, but on adults otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️?

maddyone

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

If you know or suspect that it is being used to stalk you why wouldn't you just delete the app? If you are uncomfortable about it, why would you download it to your phone and sign in, in the first place? If people use a smart phone they should have enough basic underrstanding to manage that, otherwise they leave themselves vulnerable in all sorts of ways.
Knowledge is power.

maddyone

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

It can only be a stalking device for stalkers. Most people have better things to do. Or do you just know an excessive amount of stalkers?

Anything made for good reasons can be used by a minority for bad reasons, but that shouldn't stop us making progress. Older generations rarely value the progress ascp much as the young do.

Wheniwasyourage

I think it's a good idea for teenagers who are starting to get some freedom, but not sure about tracking adult children. Fair enough if everyone is happy about it though, and I can see the point that some have made about tracking for the elderly and possibly confused being reassuring for the family.

It's probably a generational thing. Young people don't seem to be worried about it. They certainly don't see it as "being tracked". It is the software that does the "tracking".

People just look when they need to look and it's part of their way of life just as the home telephone was when we were young. Then parents thought it strange that we wanted to make chatty phone calls. Many saw that as something you just used in emergency's.