Designer labels - who cares?

M0nica was slumped at the kitchen table with best friend of 67 years. She was wearing a 20 year old cotton dressing gown from M&S and a cotton nightdress, nearly as old, from Toast, when she saw this article. BF was dressed similarly, but the details elude me.

BF pointed out that the woman in the photo, the companion of an aging ex-cricketer, was described as a PR executive and suggested that said companion provided newspapers with all the details of her attire, herself.

Ms J was seen in the garden centre of Homebase raiding the reduced section. She was wearing a new floral midi dress which she didn’t really need as she doesn't go out much these days but this one had three quarter sleeves which she needed to cover her bingo wings. She was wearing white plimsolls which she felt looked more like clogs but needs must as it seems to be the main footwear fashion these days. She was wearing sunglasses and found when she’d been at home reading for some time that she was still wearing them!! She just thought the weather had become rather cloudy. However, she was glad when rain did eventually arrive as it certainly livened up the two bargain very floppy hydrangeas she’d bought for just £3 each.

Mrs F underneath her joules bathrobe sports a tatty vest top and knickers...after glancing in the mirror ...for a moment thought Ken Dodd was looking back at me re the hair !..H..wandering around in m&s boxer's and tshirt...listening to radio 5live ..and re his Alzheimer's is telling me the headlines for the 100th time....

Viscountess Easybee was recently seen hurrying through the rain-washed streets on her way to support yet another charitable fundraiser at the ever-fashionable Cats' Protection League Shop. Stylish as ever, she was sporting a cleverly mismatched ensemble in shades of green, (so difficult to get right): Crew Clothing cropped jeans, Seasalt hoodie and flowing raincoat, deck shoes by Moshula; the final touch being an ironic large plastic carrier bag patterned with pink and blue -pussies- cats.

tanith is seen wearing an outfit that’s seen better days a stylish navy and white polka dot silky shortie dressing gown looks like she’s naked beneath, sipping a cup of builders tea while perusing news etc on a iPad her hair is scrunched in a very messy bun needs a wash. Will no doubt pull on stylish jogging pants and designer T-shirt to take a walk shortly before the rain arrives.

No sense of style when Casdon was spotted earlier in her local village returning from a very wet dog walk. She was wearing a battered 20 year old Musto jacket in a fetching shade of brown, and last season’s Muckboots. Her jeans were visible only between the knees and thigh so impossible to detect the origin. She carried no bag, just a dog lead, at the end of which was a rather beautiful blue roan cocker spaniel who was racing ahead, apparently eager to get home because he hates rain.

Mrs Lester is wearing a really old, oversized, M&S linen mix tshirt (price lost in the mists of time) and slightly newer Good Move pj bottoms. She is wearing the usual 3 silver bracelets, her engagement ring (£90 from a now defunct jewellers in Nuneaton) and her wedding ring (£16 from an exclusive and also now defunct jeweller in Leicester) In bed next to her is her husband of 53 years who is stark naked.

Also on the bed is Maisie, the cat, bought for £20 from a really weird family in a nearby village.

Ethel was seen in the M&S cafe, partaking of her usual latte, and a fruit scone with extra butter. She was wearing Cotton Traders trainers, M&S jeans, and a rather nice smock top which she bought in the Sue Ryder Charity shop for £7.

She then moved on to B&M Bargains, where among her other purchases, she obtained two trays of cooked chicken joints as a treat for her Heinz 57 rescue pooch.

Carefully checking that the Paparazzi had moved on, she and her DH returned to their faithful 10 year old Skoda, and drove home to their 70's bungalow.

Ms That wears an M&S dress/short stripey red and black nightdress that barely skims the knee. And nothing else. She is recently showered. Her face will look better later on when the night creases have left. She has painted toenails but her hands remain nail polish free.

Ms. Fiorentina (age 72) was seen leaving Tescos yesterday clutching her meal deal (£3.95.) Educated at Bog Standard Secondary Mod many years ago, she, as usual, looked enchanting in her faded, 5 year old Bon Marche jeans (£17.99.) She also wore an M&S lilac sweatshirt (price lost in the mists of time.)
He ensemble was completed by a stained, rain-soaked, turquoise mac and a pair of scuffed trainers.
Her usually neat iron grey hair was arranged in an on trend very damp tousled look with the odd raindrop sliding down her nose.

Calendar is sitting in her conservatory, having just partaken breakfast.

She is wearing casual indoor shoes from Shoezone, this year’s current design, (£4.99), a pair of navy Maine cropped trousers, (several years old, price forgotten), a Maine tee shirt, at least 20 years old with a few unfortunate bleach splashes across the front, topped off with a St Michael vintage cardigan, probably 25-30 years of age, but keeping the chill off as the weather outside is inclement.

Her only jewellery is her sleeper earrings, two in each ear.

Not forgetting the reading glasses, not sure of the make, but unimportant as they are helping her read and write this.

Mrs L left the theatre accompanied by her 3 grandchildren. Josh, 15, braved the lashing Summer rain in Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt and shorts. Annie, 13, daughter of Lt Col and Mrs Amanda Brown, wore black jeans and t-shirt under her Robert Dyas £1.50 waterproof poncho. Frankie, 3, enjoyed the rain in her puddle-suit and Joules wellies.

Mrs L sported a large golf umbrella, borrowed from the theatre, which all three children blithely ignored.

Mr L, who readers will know from the BBC weather forecasts, remained at the family home in Surrey.

Ms Whitewave is sat in a large king size bed between sheets that came from Dorma and a plain cream duvet embroidered with green flowers (to match the woodland theme in her bedroom). Price - lost in time. Her skin came free.

You’ve got to have their ages and how much their house is worth as well.

Who was the celebrity?
The Daily Mail usually do this with celebs that they don’t approve of, to highlight how frivolous and vain they are.
Meghan Markle often got this treatment; whereas Kate would get praised for her cardigan from Zara.

As for me…

Ms Cornforth (51) is wearing a long grey nightdress with embroidered detail (M&S, £22) which she daringly pairs with navy pyjama bottoms (M&S, price unavailable) and mismatched trainer socks from Kangaroo.

Her hair (which is in need of a good wash), is artfully stuffed into a William Morris print scrunhie (Next, £12 for two).

She accessorises with a pair of oversized reading glasses (Amazon) and a bichon frise/ Tibetan Spaniel cross (a nice lady in Goule; appropriately £600)

Jilly was seen sipping a skinny Latte with lifelong friend Milly outside a Costa on a back street in Milton Keynes. Both wore oversized fake designer sunglasses to make them look mysterious.
They had dressed on trend - cropped white stretch trousers from Damart, and Lands End Breton striped tee shirts (oh dear older ladies with ample chests should not wear horizontal stripes). Navy and white for Jilly, red and white for Milly.

Each had a jute tote bag by her Hotter clad feet; Jilly’s had a fresh baguette peeping out of it, and Milly had an exotic bunch of Stargazer lilies.