Just had a "should have had my glasses on" moments, and ruined my lunch

When I was a teenager my parents took me skiing in Austria. We were self catering and Dad said he would like some honey from the supermarket for breakfast 'no problem' I said as I was doing O level German - but when he opened the jar it was mustard! Not sure how but I managed to pass the O level and then the A level too and will never forget German for 'honey' or 'mustard'!

they do sell honey mustard- so perhaps where you went wrong?

Honig = honey

Senf = mustard

Honigsenf - honey mustard.

I met a mistake at the market in Berlin and asked for 'ein Pfund Dirne' instead of 'Birne' (prostitutes instead of pears! ooops- they laughed!)

In my cakemaking days one of my specialties was devil's food cake. I once put gravy browning in instead of cocoa powder, spooned as much out as I could and didn't tell anyone. It seemed to go round and round my mouth but my DH said it was the best I'd ever made!

At a pub carvery my daughter liberally laced her plate with bread sauce only to find it was horseradish! She managed to eat her meal after scraping most of the offending sauce off but when we mentioned that maybe some labels would be helpful they said “You should have brought it back. We’d have given you a fresh plate.” Not a no glasses moment - she was a teenager at the time!

I am very short sighted and as a student nurse newly allowed on a ward on my own 6 weeks after starting my training I was serving supper and put beetroot with custard in bowls for the patients . I soon learnt to be less vain and wear my glasses on duty . Have always been able to see brilliantly for close up things by the way !

HurdyGurdy Really cheered me up reading your green lentils experience!

My mother made a chocolate cake only unfortunately she'd put gravy powder in instead of cocoa Yeuch!

I was making a risotto in the slow cooker and accidentally chucked in a cup of pearl barley instead of arborio rice. I decided to carry on with the recipe anyway and it was absolutely delicious.

Last summer, there was a wasp in the bathroom one evening. It rejected every opportunity to fly out of the open window so I sprayed the room with fly killer before I went to bed. Early next morning I showered, dried .... and in my half-awake state sprayed my armpits with Raid!

I once sprinkled my fish and chips in a cafe with sugar instead of salt - yuk!!

I took some pureed apple out of the freezer to make apple crumble. When it thawed it was chicken stock from a boiled carcass! Luckily no harm done as the crumble hadn't been added. Stock went back into freezer (labeled this time) replaced by real apple!

Many years ago DH and I were having supper with an elderly friend . . . she brought in the salad and I thought there was a bit of a smell. She suddenly dashed back into the kitchen. Fortunately DH and I (having good manners thank goodness as it turned out) waited until she came back before helping ourselves to the salad. She dashed back. 'Don't eat the salad. I've made the dressing with white spirit. My char has put it on the wrong shelf in the cupboard'.

Yes, she had a 'char' - that's what she called her.

I did squirt olive oil ear drops into my eye last week instead of eye drops. Assumed that all would be ok and as my god daughter said I’ll just have a well lubricated eye ball 😆

My brother replaced the toothpaste on the sink with a carefully painted over tube of Amora extra strong mustard. Although meant for me, it was our father who brushed his teeth first. He did not find it amusing.

My OH invariably takes off his glasses before nighttime bathroom visit. If we're on holiday he invariably confuses the toothpaste tube with Anusol... Pavlov suggested he'd learn, but he doesn't! 😂

Because both are in our spongebag I ought to explain.

I was working in a cafe in Asda and an old man came up to me and said there was something wrong with the vinegar on his wife's fish and chips. It turned out that she had squirted one of our purple antibacterial sprays all over it! Not only had she not noticed the bright purple colour but she had gone behind the counter to find it because it wasn't the sort of thing that was left out for the customers. I had a quick look down the list of ingredients and we decided that as it was safe for use in a food area the bit she had tasted probably wouldn't do her any harm.

My mum sprinkled fish food (instead of cinammon) on top of the rice pudding she'd made - cooked it, served it up, we all ate it - then she realised her mistake!!

Fleurpepper

Honig = honey

Senf = mustard

Honigsenf - honey mustard.

I met a mistake at the market in Berlin and asked for 'ein Pfund Dirne' instead of 'Birne' (prostitutes instead of pears! ooops- they laughed!)

Showing off in Paris, I told reception I needed another ear ( pillow oreiller/ oreille)

And my wee German neighbour asked in the corner shop if the bottle was Essig (vinegar) for her tomato salad, and was assured it was. Fortunately, turpentine does have quite a distinctive smell.

Sorry, I digress, back to Specsavers!

Not food related but a real visual epic fail. I was just walking down into a swimming pool when I saw a large lady wearing the same swimsuit as me. I pointed at her and laughed hoping she'd think it funny too. She gave me a strange look and swam away. Of course I realised while changing afterwards that I was wearing my other swimsuit. She must have thought I was laughing rudely at her.

PS I wear my glasses in the pool now.

We had a friend who bought her meat in bulk so usually bought half a pig and froze it. She took a joint out with out her glasses defrosted it and on the Sunday morning still without her glasses prepared the joint and put it in the oven. When she put her glasses on to check two ears were sticking up she had got the pigs head instead of another joint and couldn't see the ears.
Another time my mum went to see her she was busy making dresses for her daughters with material she had bought for curtains,after that she always wore her glasses.

Not knowing that my grandmother had rearranged her baking stuff - I happily weighed out and baked six ounces of salt instead of castor sugar .

It was the most revolting cheesecake !

My OH queried why the dog treats were so small, and I needed to complain as they were a quarter of the normal size. It was only when I put my glasses on to read the order number I discovered I had bought senior size (a senior moment 😀). At 45 kilos the dog is not impressed.