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Intrusive questions

(68 Posts)
Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 09:19:14

Not a TAAT but about threads (some) in general.
OK tell me I can swerve them (and I do) but why this compulsion to ask intrusive questions or share personal information with total strangers? We have had threads on “shredding toilet paper”, “do you remember your first time”, how many people here bank with Coutts, “spending and saving habits, “how often do you shower/bathe”, “do you sit or crouch on public toilet seats” (yes, really) and “how often do you wash your hair” ?
On the basis that GN chatting is a bit like coffee with friends, would these topics really feature in your conversation?
Tell me to ignore them by all means. I fail to see why my, or anybody’s personal habits should be of any interest to anybody

Serendipity22 Sun 06-Aug-23 22:12:46

I dont see a problem with asking. Some may feel things only affect them and by asking GN they realise they are not on their own which is a comfort. If a question doesn't apply to me I just scroll past. Ppl may feel easier asking this forum where we are all anonymous opposed to asking someone they know.

Fleurpepper Sun 06-Aug-23 21:17:20

hollysteers

Aveline I love hearing other peoples conversations. The more they spill, the more I enjoy it😁
I’m certainly not going to do it myself…

Probably will be accused of boasting, lol- but this is even more so when you speak several languages and people spill a lot more if they think those around can't understand lol

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 06-Aug-23 21:11:26

You can’t find out the amount of someone’s mortgage from the Land Registry, only the name of the lender and the date of the mortgage. People who are married may have different surnames as a woman is not obliged to take her husband’s surname on marriage.

Aveline Sun 06-Aug-23 19:52:35

It's awful when you're left wondering isn't it?!

sodapop Sun 06-Aug-23 19:35:20

I am often intrigued when I hear snippets of conversation from other people hollysteers fascinating to try and build a story round it.
Think I need to do more in my life smile

hollysteers Sun 06-Aug-23 18:22:00

Aveline I love hearing other peoples conversations. The more they spill, the more I enjoy it😁
I’m certainly not going to do it myself…

Aveline Sun 06-Aug-23 17:20:17

I've heard some pretty detailed conversations on the bus. I don't know why it doesn't occur to people that the whole bus can hear what you told your neighbour last night and why and then what happened. I often want to interrupt with new questions of my own. I feel entitled to as we've all been drawn into the conversation.

Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 17:12:51

I then went on the land registry and found out her name, the date and amount of her mortgage, her mortgage provider and some other interesting information besides. For example she and the man she lived with had different surnames
No - how absolutely scandalous! Living in sin? . Mind you, some people mind construe that as beyond intrusive, stalking, even.

Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 17:10:05

Is pizzed a neologism?

biglouis Sun 06-Aug-23 16:24:34

I get a bit pizzed off when someone asks me a series of personal questions but offers no information about themselves in return.

My whining neighbour asked me my name, and on recieving the answer, my second name. Then she went on to ask "Is that Mrs or Miss?" without even the basic courtesy of offering her name. So I responded "Well before I give you any more information about myself suppose you have the courtesy to tell me your name, and then Ill know who Im speaking to!"

She simply stared at me. I told her that is was neither Mrs nor Miss but Dr. My first name was for my friends and family so she could call me Dr Biglouis.

I then went on the land registry and found out her name, the date and amount of her mortgage, her mortgage provider and some other interesting information besides. For example she and the man she lived with had different surnames.

There is an old saying about people who live in glass houses throwing stones .....

AreWeThereYet Sun 06-Aug-23 16:08:29

I suppose what's intrusive to one person is general conversation to another. It's not really much different to the things people discuss in public on their phones these days. I've heard the details of a divorce, including the 'doings' of the 'pig' she was married to. The details of someone's bank accounts. The details of a quite intimate physical examination and what the doctor said. None of which I would be discussing in the local coffee house but others do.

Joseann Sun 06-Aug-23 15:57:59

😲
Crikey!

MerylStreep Sun 06-Aug-23 15:41:09

I ponder how the OP develops from, let’s say, washing your hair to actually thinking of GN and wondering how often posters wash their hair.
Or sitting on the toilet and thinking……….. let’s leave that one there 😉
I’m more puzzled why people post such stuff 🤔

Bella23 Sun 06-Aug-23 15:34:30

Georgesgran

My feelings are with Fleur. It’s anonymous and harmless and doesn’t lead to the nastiness as some threads do. Funnily enough I actually do know who my friends bank with, their hair washing routines and what they keep under the sink! Perhaps we need to get out more!

SNAP

Fleurpepper Sun 06-Aug-23 15:31:21

biglouis

If you dont like the subject of a thread and consider it intrusive you dont have to post on it. I assumed the one about Coutts was tongue in cheek. Silly me!

If some random asks me an impertinent personal question in real life they are likely to get a rather terse reply. I have a selection of excellent conversation stoppers.

Of course it was- and I am sure you know that Joseann.

Judy54 Sun 06-Aug-23 15:30:43

It is an individual decision as to how much personal information each person wants to share on here. Yes we are anonymous but this is a public forum that can be seen by many in different countries so it is wise to think carefully before sharing to much information about your life.

Staceyann Sun 06-Aug-23 15:27:29

In response to the OP, I think the phrase “compulsion to ask intrusion questions” would only be valid if it was the same one or two posters asking the questions. A range of people, each posing a idle question that perhaps just occurred to them as they were cleaning out the hamster cage, is not really a compulsion?
I’m not interested in the Games threads, so I simply avoid them. I don’t sit and wonder why people are interested in thinking of 3 things beginning with D…..
I think, as some have said, some trivial questions posed can in fact, within the responses be of help or interest to others - giving people information or new ideas about everyday life or tasks.

Greenfinch Sun 06-Aug-23 15:07:31

The trouble is that sometimes perfectly innocuous questions degenerate into criticism of others. For example the thread on cruises starts with a completely innocent question asking for personal opinions but some posters use it as a criticism of those who cruise. The comment “Butlins at Sea”is not only untrue but does not answer the OP’s question and at the very least should be prefaced by a reference to personal experience.

Norah Sun 06-Aug-23 14:42:24

I do think it's quite intrusive to ask people, at first meet/early days if they have children/grandchildren - not everyone does, some can't, much pain and sadness may be hidden under that intrusion.

Callistemon21 Sun 06-Aug-23 14:42:11

Elegran

My pocket-sized, trusting, unchipped, un-neutered, pedigree dog wears my tiara for walkies with the nice volunteer dog-walker. Come to think of it, they haven't come back yet from the walk they set out on last Friday week, and she never told me her address or phone number! That's OK - she has a key to let the pooch into the house if I am not home.

Minus tiara!
And minus a lot of other things too 😄

Never mind, perhaps the pocket-sized pooch will turn into a ferocious guard dog when she returns and he gets inside his own home.

Norah Sun 06-Aug-23 14:32:45

biglouis

If you dont like the subject of a thread and consider it intrusive you dont have to post on it. I assumed the one about Coutts was tongue in cheek. Silly me!

If some random asks me an impertinent personal question in real life they are likely to get a rather terse reply. I have a selection of excellent conversation stoppers.

I agree, just don't read or answer.

Today I didn't bother to read but the title "How often do you wash your hair" - nobody cares about my hair, except my hairdresser.

Daily, thanks for asking!

In real life? Oh, IDK, when I feel as if I look a mess.

sharon103 Sun 06-Aug-23 13:56:18

Elegran

My pocket-sized, trusting, unchipped, un-neutered, pedigree dog wears my tiara for walkies with the nice volunteer dog-walker. Come to think of it, they haven't come back yet from the walk they set out on last Friday week, and she never told me her address or phone number! That's OK - she has a key to let the pooch into the house if I am not home.

LOL

fancythat Sun 06-Aug-23 13:55:53

Tell me to ignore them by all means. I fail to see why my, or anybody’s personal habits should be of any interest to anybody

I dont think I answered any of the threads in the op. Or even saw or opened half of them. But each to their own.

People can be quite different to each other.
In how they think, post, and what they want to read.

Joseann Sun 06-Aug-23 13:54:51

I didn't think the Coutts thread was tongue in cheek, or a joke - if it was it backfired! (It was perhaps a bit nosey). Infact it was quite up my street and I was ready to profer as much information as I could, just like someone who offers advice on a cruise or another person who knows all about hair products.
It only becomes intrusive for me if someone persistently and unremittingly demands intimate detail on a personal subject I've only once had that happen on GN over my faith, and it was prying and unwelcome.

Feelingmyage55 Sun 06-Aug-23 13:45:29

I thoroughly enjoy those random questions which are a little “I wonder if/what other people ……” and wouldn’t ask in real life. The “do you remember your first time?” Was especially intriguing because such things were never discussed when I was younger and I enjoyed the variety of stories. I have also tried different soaps, routines, cooking appliances that would have not occurred to me. During the loneliness of Covid I appreciated the broad spectrum of posts: persaonal, trivial, informative, questioning - bring it all on, something for everyone and every mood.