Am I expecting too much?

Four of our five children were at our wedding, all five remember our anniversary.

I put on the family WhatsApp diary a reminder that we are not available for babysitting a couple of days before and a couple after the date. We always try to get away somewhere for a few days.

I’d feel it but that’s me.

My daughter has always said our anniversary is nothiing to do with her - despite the fact we are celebrating an event which if it hadn't happened she and her siblings would not be here! We have never had anniversary cards from them unless we make a fuss of an event, such as 25th, 40th, 50th.

She did really go to town for the 50th when we said we were going to celebrate, organising a restaurant (we each paid) and even produced a huge copy of our wedding photo to display on a table.

If you are travelling, it is always worth mentioning it to the airline at checking, we were upgraded and offered champagne for our 30th!

I don't thinkmy son even knew the date of my marriage. But I do remember my mother being very upset when my father forgot their 25th, he was abroad at he time..

I don't think my children even know when the anniversary is! They got involved when we had a ceilidh for 25th and also celebration for 40th, but we organised it and invited them.

My two wouldn’t have a clue it was our anniversary, never mind which one, we don’t expect them to.
It’s our day, which we often go away for, just a couple of nights, but other years don’t do anything.

Did they realise that it was your anniversary? I don't think my children would know.
But I know how you feel. Life is sometimes just disappointing isn't it. Treat yourself to something. That's what I do if I'm feeling down about something. Even if it's only a pair of earrings from ebay.
Congratulations on the thirty years. That a real achievement.

Ours have no idea when we were married - they've seen the photos and exclaimed over the fashions and hairdo's, but that's about it. We don't make a fuss about it either, though we do have a 'big' holiday for each ten years.

Sorry that you were disappointed - waiting is always dreadful I think, so amplifies the frustration. Many congratulations - and I hope you'll give yourselves a special treat.

I’ve learned now to be surprised if a I do actually get an acknowledgement on my birthday both my girls will send a card and my sister but the GC and GGC only send a greeting when reminded by a Watsapp post. My son rarely acknowledges it my birthday but he’s always been that way. I do admit feeling a bit sad that no one even realised I was 75 this year when I see the posts here about big celebrations for families. But we’ve never been big on parties in our family so I suppose that’s down to me not even starting the trend years ago. 😂

DH and I usually go away for our anniversary.

It was our 50th last year. We went on a short coach trip to Europe.

Neither DD or DS made any mention of it at all, even though it was a ‘special’ one, and no cards from them.

I was a bit hurt that they didn’t think about it, but seeing as we never brought up the fact it was our Golden, and neither of them were around on the original day….

I always send them a congrats when it’s their anniversaries,

Our daughter always remembers birthdays, Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc but not always our anniversary. It doesn't bother me. She has a lot on her plate.

It's different strokes, I think. To me, anniversaries are for the couple to celebrate, not for other people to mark. Birthdays are different - I would be hurt if my children forgot mine - but all families are different.

We have never had celebrations for ours so would not expect our children to even know. Had been party types I suppose it would be diarised and they’d be in the loop as it were.
This is your celebration really nobody else’s. Well that’s my opinion, although I congratulate you 💐

I've just realised we went away for our 40th not 30th! That's how much anniversaries mean to me!

Is it something you've been used to each year from them, (which would be then be strange) or is it because its a big one?

Families are so different. My own Mum and Dad never made anything of it, in fact we were unaware of it. so I guess I didn't bring DS up to see it that way.

It isn’t about expecting too much but more about different expectations.

It sounds as if you hadn’t made any special plans for a celebration so they probably didn’t see your anniversary as being particularly significant. Whereas you saw it as a big milestone even without a celebration event.

I’ve got one child who marks everything with a card and a phone call and a text and a Gif. We joke they’d send a card for a sneeze if they could find one. And another who just about manages Christmas.

It’s no measure of their love or care. The no-card one is driving 50 miles to give me a lift to the hospital. That’s what counts really.

It depends how much importance you put on anniversaries - we frequently forget ours! However for our 30th I did arrange for all of us to have a weekend away - I doubt if the children would have remembered otherwise - and it wouldn't have occurred to OH to arrange anything special.
To be fair - I don't make a fuss of the children's anniversaries either!

Congratulations on your 30th and I hope the cinema was enjoyable.
I am not sure the AC would consider 30 a big one, I don't think we made much of it as we did 25th and 50th. We don't send our children cards for theirs now although I think we did for the first few years.
Have a word with MrAnon and get sorted out for next year before the day.

Yes, you are expecting too much. They have their own lives. They have not let you down.

I never really expect my DC to remember our Wedding Anniversary unless I have arranged something with them. They always remember birthdays, however.
My DH has a special birthday later in the year so will ask them if we can do something.

My mother used to go on like this when I forgot her birthday, mothers day and so on! I lived in another city, did a busy full time job which involved quite a lot of travelling outside the UK and so on. I can never remember my birthday being her priority when I was a kid.

People have different priorities. Im sure you are somewhere on their list but just not at the top.

I'm sorry that your day didn't go as you'd hoped Anon. Our DS doesn't always remember our birthdays or acknowledge fathers and mothers days but that's just the way he is.

If he did, I'd be very surprised if he thought to acknowledge out wedding anniversary.

TBH it would be Mr. S. I felt let down by if I'd been the only one to suggest doing something to celebrate, not my AC.

Did you go to the cinema? I hope you enjoyed the film and congratulations for your 30th anniversary .