WWYD? Borrowing/lending money within a family?

I agree it may well be a scam but whatever I’d say nothing, even if you suspect he used your gift to get him out of a corner rather than spending it on the baby. I hope he at least sends thanks.

I'd say nothing at all - as saying anything could cause bad feeling within the family. Once you give a gift - it belongs to the recipient, after all.

Say nothing. There is nothing to be gained talking further.

It sounds, by timing (Wed night, Thursday morning) all was sorted. Nephew was in a tight spot, as happens to people, your gift solved. End.

Sounds like a scam. Research martin lewis website and also join (free) “which” scam alerts. Our local police authority also do scam information on their facebook page.

It could be a scam, the scammer backs down asking for money, then comes back a few days later saying that they still need some to tide them over.
Ignore, if your nephew was short of money surely he would telephone and ask, not send an online message? You knew who he was because you chatted and he sent you photos of the baby.

Say nothing.
'unexpected expenses and he needed to put petrol in his car and didn’t want to ask his folks as they would only worry.'

I suspect the nephew didn't want his parents to know because they would only worry--------that he was dunning his relatives.
Shameful. (or a scam)

Thank you all. You've confirmed what my gut feeling was telling me - to say nothing.

The nephew had been hacked some time ago, and my son and I discussed at some length whether it could be a scam. But I would have thought that any scammer would have tried to obtain money straight away, and not wait until the victim had time to realise they had been hacked, and take appropriate action. And, has been said, unlikely that a scammer would withdraw the request.

We now have a password between our two families, so we can check that we are talking to a genuine family member should anything like this arise again.

My son is pretty savvy, hence his first thought being "it's a bit sus, mum".

He's the one telling me to be aware of the "I've lost my phone and this is my new number" scam, which I was aware of. Ironic that HE was the one who received the text, saying "Hi mum . . . .".

We have a password between the five of us, again so we can be sure of who we're talking to if we get suspicious.

Thank you again. I'll say nothing.

BTW- the nephew never said "don't tell anyone", and I wasn't "tapped for money. My contribution was purely to send some money in lieu of a gift for the new baby, and that was before my son checked with me to see if his cousin had approached anyone else in our immediate family. I'm not sure how that makes me naive 😕

It doesn’t sound like a scam as the cousin has withdrawn his request for a loan, possibly because the OP’s cash gift for the new baby has resolved his immediate cash-flow problem, but it could indicate an underlying issue which could escalate.

Best to leave well alone.

Perhaps your son could let his cousin know that he may have been hacked as this is a known FB scam.

If by chance it is not a scam, then your nephew will get the message that no money will be forthcoming.

Possible scam.

Never lend money to close relatives if they actually ask for it as they will guilt trip you into more someway down the road.

I can remember my sister coming to me and begging me to lend her £50 (back in the 1960s) for a deposit on a house. It was something from one of those ads you see in the back pages of downmarket papers like the Sunday Sport. I told her I didnt have the money in cash and as she had no bank account a cheque was no good to her. I also told her not to get involved with shady schemes in the lowlife press. Never heard anymore of it so I guess it turned out to be some kind of scam (on the part of the paper not my sister).

Absolutely say nowt. 🤐

My thoughts too, Monica - money for petrol? Don’t tell anyone?

OP, stay out of it, and advise your son to do so too.

You do not know, apart from what you have been told, what your nephew's fiancial situation is.

His problems could be caused by low salary and struggles with making ends meet, but as soon as someone starts looking outside immediate family, especially when the closeness is recent, my immediate suspicion is of someone with money management problems, in other words, not poverty but possible extravagent spending, gambling or a drug habit.

Either way, say nothing, but lend nothing and do all you can to stop your children falling for a sob story without any factual back-up.

Nothing, of course

It sounds like a scam and even if it wasnt, nephew is an adult, no need to tell on him to his parents

My first thought was a scam, too.

Don't get involved. If they want a loan let them go to their own family.

Oopsadaisy1

It could be a scam, If your son has only contacted him via FB he might not be ‘talking’ to your nephew at all.
Even if he was, it’s nothing to do with anyone else.

My thoughts too, Oopsadaisy

Has your nephew been hacked?

Take welbecks sound advice!

It could be a scam, If your son has only contacted him via FB he might not be ‘talking’ to your nephew at all.
Even if he was, it’s nothing to do with anyone else.

you sound a bit naive.
of course do not tell anyone.
but also do not allow yourself to be tapped for any more money.

TBH he has probably used the money you sent him , but does it really matter , sounds as if the baby was unplanned and as you know they are very expensive especially in the first few months with nappies and perhaps formula if mum isn't breastfeeding. Perhaps the parents were not to happy about the pregnancy and although to outsiders they may not be showing this may have made it plain to the young couple they need to stand on their own two feet. I would only do something if there are any more requests.

for money (not more)

It’s sad that your nephew is living from paycheque to paycheque. I’m sure my children were in similar positions when they started out, but the first person they would ask for more, is me. As a matter of fact, they have and I have helped out, but I was always repaid.
Your nephew should be asking his parents - that’s my opinion. I hope things will soon get better for him.

Because this could be taken in a myriad of different ways by your nephews side of the family, I’d say nothing. As far as your interaction with your nephew is concerned you sent a gift for his newborn. If, however, another request were to be made I’d maybe viewing it a little differently.