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Struggle carrying grand babies

(63 Posts)
Abitbarmy Mon 21-Aug-23 07:35:16

So my eldest granddaughter is nearly 5 and going to school soon. We are going to be looking after her twin brother and sister instead one day a week. What I struggle greatly with now that I didn’t with her, is carrying them around, one at a time of course. I’m 67 and reasonably fit, always on the go and garden a lot. They weigh about 20lbs (9kgs) each. Doesn’t make any difference which arm and I’m using my hip to rest them on also but they end up slipping down and I just can’t do it for more than a very short time. Is this normal at my age? I’d love to know how grans of a similar age manage. Also lifting them from floor level is not easy. I couldn’t manage their care without the help of my DH but it saddens me that I can’t walk around the house and garden holding them like I used to do 4 years ago with their sister.

luluaugust Mon 21-Aug-23 09:41:25

How many days are you doing this care? I only ask as at 67 even one or two days is a lot. I have osteoporosis and you do need to be careful with lifting anything let alone wriggling small children. I agree that adult children don't always see us ageing, do they think you will be doing the caring through to 5 this time round, you will be 72!
Please take care of yourself and no carrying on the hip.

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 21-Aug-23 09:50:28

I think you really need to have a rethink about looking after the twins, if you can’t lift or carry them safely then you really shouldn’t be doing it.
It’s a shame but we are all getting older and they will get heavier!

V3ra Mon 21-Aug-23 10:01:46

When you do need to carry one of the babies, try holding them with their back against your front, your left arm round their chest under their arms and your right arm through their legs so they're sitting on it. You'll probably find the baby is on a slight diagonal, rather than upright.
Keep your arms close to your body and your spine straight.
This will hold them securely, and as they'll be able to see where you're going they'll be less likely to wriggle and squirm.

Abitbarmy Mon 21-Aug-23 10:09:46

Thank you everyone for all your advice. I’ve told the twins parents that this time around the day is going to be a bit shorter so 9-4 instead of 9-6 and they know I can’t/don’t want to ever look after them on my own. DH is perfectly able and willing to do all the lifting and carrying, I would never do anything to endanger them. I was just curious to see if I’m unusual or this is a normal part of ageing. Whether we can manage another 5 years remains to be seen but it will get easier as they get older. I do agree that our DC don’t always think about us becoming less able.

Greenfinch Mon 21-Aug-23 10:29:10

There shouldn’t be any problem if you have DH to do the lifting and carrying. I can understand that you would be reluctant to pull out and miss out on that lovely day care and the tone of your posts suggests that you would never take any risks either to yourself or to the twins. Enjoy!

Theexwife Mon 21-Aug-23 11:02:44

Last year at a friends house I picked up two 4kg dumbbells that were on her kitchen table thinking that I would easily do some arm curls, I could barely do one. This shocked me and I realised that I did not lift anything heavy anymore and was quite weak.

A year later, I now do 50 arm curls every day, my arms look better and I am stronger.

Callistemon21 Mon 21-Aug-23 11:09:53

I wouldn't carry a baby in sling or a front or back carrier now in case I fell, the thought of falling on the baby fills me with horror.
You may have to lift them occasionally but do they have baby walkers so they can trundle around?

Looking after twins when you're not well yourself is a big ask. Could they go to nursery some of the days?

I hope you're having the medication for osteoporosis; two of my friends have taken it and are so much better.

luluaugust Mon 21-Aug-23 11:10:07

I apologise for not reading properly that you are doing one day. Enjoy it, it goes so quickly.

Callistemon21 Mon 21-Aug-23 11:11:36

Oh, just seen that it's one day a week.

I hope you can manage that with the help of your DH.
Let's hope they are early walkers.

Callistemon21 Mon 21-Aug-23 11:12:42

Please take care of yourself and no carrying on the hip
I agree re the hip carrying too.

BlueBelle Mon 21-Aug-23 11:12:57

Is it usual ? well everyone is so different I m 78 have osteoperosis but can still safely lift quite heavy weights but I don’t have the long term energy that I did have, mine comes and go s in bursts As you have a husband with you I would think you ll be fine and at 10 months they shouldn’t need too much carrying if they cry you can sit with them on your knee to comfort them
Just pace yourself and share the load

Glorianny Mon 21-Aug-23 11:37:47

I think you should involve the children as well. As they grow older they should understand that you can't lift them from the floor if they are upset or crying and they will have to wait for your DH. Once they are walking taking their hand and leading them to a chair will be just as comforting. I remember carrying babies about, whilst I was doing jobs, when I was younger and it was lovely, but old age brings other benefits. Stopping what you are doing, leaving the jobs, and just sitting, talking and playing with a child is just as good, if not better. You do lose abilities as you grow older but you gain so much more.

Oldnproud Mon 21-Aug-23 12:38:08

Abitbarmy

When their sister used to get fretful I found walking around looking out of different windows and walking around the garden helped calm things.

That is exactly what I had to do with my youngest dgc almost constantly between about 7 and 9 months, to stop him crying, so I know how hard it can be.

I really struggled, even though I am still early 60s and fit and healthy. My wrists became extremely painful. ((Never had any problems with the other dgc through my 50s.)

Fortunately, he started walking early and within weeks no longer fretted, and my joints have recovered, but I doubt I could do it again when I am a few years older, not even for one child, let alone twins.

I'm sorry, I know that none of that is of any help to you, but I just wanted to let you are not alone in struggling with these things.

EkwaNimitee Mon 21-Aug-23 12:49:10

Do be careful Abitbarmy, I gave myself a prolapse lifting and carrying sacks of compost etc from the garden centre and pulling them around the garden. Unknown to me, my pelvic floor muscles were weak and couldn’t resist the pressure from the abdominal muscles which you will use a lot picking up and carrying youngsters around.
Strongly advise you take up pelvic floor muscle exercises, plenty of advice on how to online. Every older woman should do them. Believe me, you just do not want a prolapse!

SueDonim Mon 21-Aug-23 14:08:38

I look after my GS who is a heavyweight - he was over 9lb at birth and has continued at that centile of weight! I find lifting him not exactly a struggle but it’s a challenge. He is also prone to throwing himself around when being lifted and I do worry about overbalancing. That could lead to a fracture if you have osteoporosis. Not only that, there’s the buggy and as for his car seat, that itself weighs 13kilos.

I think maybe you need to plan carefully to have everything at hand, Abitbarmy to minimise needing to go up/down stairs. Have all babycare needs on the level you spend the most time, even if it means baby equipment etc in the living room for now. I’m looking forward to getting rid of the high chair! No matter where we put it, it’s in the way. 😫

Abitbarmy Mon 21-Aug-23 17:10:27

Thank you again all of you for your very kind and helpful comments. Suedonim I’ve just acquired a second (second hand IKEA) so we’ve got a pair now but I know what you mean! We are at least able to now get rid of the bouncy chair and when stuff comes out of the loft it won’t be going back in again this time!

SueDonim Mon 21-Aug-23 17:25:13

We have the IKEA high chair too. It’s very good, can go in the dishwasher if you take the legs off but it’s a pain! grin

harrysgran Tue 22-Aug-23 11:50:15

I sympathise I'm the same age and consider myself reasonably fit however I look after gc number 3 2 days and struggle to carry her up to the car she's 13 months hopefully walking soonsmile

Esmay Tue 22-Aug-23 12:11:52

You are not alone .

A decade ago when I was much slimmer and fitter - aged 60 I couldn't pick my granddaughter up .
Aged three she was much too heavy for me .

My daughter asked me to take her upstairs for a bath .

I had to hold her in my arms and go up the stairs backwards very slowly on my bottom taking one step at a time !

Her mother was very busy .
I should have told her .
My advice is to tell your children that your grandchildren are too heavy to carry .

Hithere Tue 22-Aug-23 12:25:37

Double stroller will save your life

Please put your health and your husband's first. If you are exhausted after just a few hours in the arrangement, dial it down

Shill29 Tue 22-Aug-23 12:38:29

I struggled too , especially if I had to take them up or down stairs for any reason. Naps etc. DH not much help! It got easier once they could walk a bit and could climb stairs before that! Maybe previous poster was right and weight lifting is the answer 🤣
What I did find a help though in the car is to have a little folding step so they can climb into the car seat.

JdotJ Tue 22-Aug-23 12:41:44

Gosh I do feel for you. I have 7 year old twin grandchildren and found it no problem lifting them up when they were younger.
I've also got a 10 month old grandson who stayed with us last month for a couple of nights. Lifting him in and out of his travel cot and carrying him up and down stairs was a major feat. My poor knees and back.
Loved having him though 😍

PaperMonster Tue 22-Aug-23 13:02:23

I have a lot of musculoskeletal issues. When my child was a baby, I used a semi structured sling/carrier a lot (an Integra) and when she was a bit older I also used a HippyChick which was brilliant! That’s just like a big bum bag that they can sit on and you don’t end up doing the sticky out hip thing! These really were useful.

SuperTinny Tue 22-Aug-23 14:34:14

I think some gentle weight training may be what you need. I started with a personal trainer recently for other reasons. I wanted to improve my strength, stamina and flexibility.
An unexpected benefit is being able to lift my 3 yr old grandson onto his favourite windowsill to guess which colour car is going to come down the road next!!
I'm quite short and the windowsill is at chest height. I hadn't previously been able to do it without effort, but recently it seems effortless.

Davisuz Tue 22-Aug-23 15:34:47

I have a dodgy left knee and my two year old grandson already knows I can't carry him unless it is an emergency (I am 62 by the way) He seems to accept this quite readily and has even started carrying bags etc and opening doors for me! I think we can easily damage backs, hips etc by lifting heavy or awkward weights and so I just don't do it.