Feeling a bit of a burden

welbeck

as they say over on MN,
no is a complete sentence.
stick to it.

The other saying I like is,

"That doesn't work for me."

This would have saved me a whole lot of grief on one particular occasion when I reluctantly went along with other people's plans, if I'd only known about it at the time 🤦

On the other side of this, my cousin who is almost 80 I am quite a bit younger had asked me last Wednesday to take her to local town for her grandson’s birthday present and and look for new winter clothes.
She has a car but rarely drives due to loss of confidence when she had an accident. So I often go out with her and take her to places I always drive.
I said could we postpone it as it was far too hot to drive and walk around the shops. She went into a complete huff and said she would drive herself, even when I said we can go next week.
All she bought was a Velcro hat that caught balls for her grandson as he wanted money for his birthday, what a waste of time.
I asked her if she was cross with me as I was only thinking of her, she said no but next time don’t let her down last minute. arghhh

Ohhh goodness me... no way are you a burden.... in my opinion the person who is in making you feel wretched is totally inconsiderate. If that were me in that particular scenario, I would have said no from the very start in order to defuse what could be an un-enjoyable day out. Do you think you went along so you didn't upset this person and of course its developed into you now feeling you are a burden, which you are not.

I would keep that in mind and in future mentally cover alĺ the issues that whatever I chose to do with someone else WON'T turn out to me feeling wretched and a burden.

💐

"No is a complete sentence" is brilliant.

It takes a lot of practice but worth it in the end.

I couldn't imagine going clothes shopping during the past week of high temperatures. You were right not to be pushed into it by your companion. Personally all I have done recently is essential shopping, in the mornings, before the heat took over. Light housework, again when it's cooler. Otherwise, relaxing in shade in the garden, or in the coolest room indoors. You are not in the wrong. Your unthinking companion is the one who is wrong and ignorant of the dangers of excessive heat.
Sending you my best wishes. Chin up!

welbeck

as they say over on MN,
no is a complete sentence.
stick to it.

Love this! A quote to be kept for future use.
But my personal opinion?
Shopping or going into town in this heat?
Bonkers.

I hate going round shops ... and hate looking at clothes even more. Let alone in this heat. Just say no!!

"No" is a powerful answer, use it to your convenience

Do what you need to do!

Biscuitmaker you've paid your dues, so now us the time for you to look after number 1 - yourself.

was the hottest day of the year in uk.
in second week of sept, makes you wonder.
things seem upside down.

Thank you everyone for being so kind

Biscuitmuncher, it's a shame you allowed yourself to be talked into it. Take note and never do it again - say 'NO' and stick to it. One more hot day here and back to normal temperatures, yippee!

Oh biscuitmuncher, I’m so sorry to read of your experience. You are definitely not a burden. Heat can affect some people with arthritis in the same way it affects others when it’s damp and/or cold. Shame on the individual who made you feel like the biggest s**t going. It says a lot more about them than you.
Take care, and next time, say “no thanks*.
Sometimes, I think some ( by no means all) younger folk and some (again, not all) older folk who are fortunate not to suffer health issues, don’t realise what it can be like to be coping with debilitating conditions (whatever age the sufferer might be), and that one day they may be faced with the same or similar issues. They should count their blessings but not denigrate those who are suffering.

I agree with everyone else Biscuitmuncher far too hot to be in town shopping for anyone. I would have said a very firm no to that suggestion. Relax in the shade like any sensible person and ignore whoever is making you feel uncomfortable.
I can sympathise with the red face, sweat etc that's exactly what happens to me, not an attractive look is it 🥵

You're not a burden. I'm the same -I can't walk quickly, and I have problems with my legs and feet. It's far to hot to be walking about in this weather, anyway. Don't be "persuaded" into going out/walking when you don't feel up to it. My husband and I have stayed in all day, it's just too much effort to do anything in this weather.

It was unkind of whoever bumped you into going out in this weather, knowing that you struggle, and then to have the temerity to insult you - well! I wouldn't be seeking their company for an outing in any hurry - how selfish.

It’s a funny old world. Many of us have had our run-ins with OP, especially over covid, but there’s always something that can bring us together.

You poor thing, Biscuit, the person who coerced you should hang their heads in shame. What would they have done if you had succumbed to heat exhaustion.

Rest now and drink plenty of fluids. And next time anyone tries to pull a stunt like that then your answer should be a firm NO.

as they say over on MN,
no is a complete sentence.
stick to it.

Seriously??? No offence intended to you personally Biscuitmuncher but whoever it was who insisted you go clothes shopping is a total idiot with no common sense.

I have arthritis and I do not tolerate the heat well at all. You are certainly NOT a s**t for not wanting to go clothes shopping, on the contrary you are sensible and know your limits unlike the person who dragged you along!

I really feel for you. I can't cope with the heat either and my arthritis plays up as well when it's so hot.
All I want to do is sit with a fan directed towards me. Hope you are home and chilling out now.

I am with you Biscuitmuncher I don't tolerate heat well and would definitely not want to go out and about during this hot spell. Give me the shade any time. It is a shame that you feel like the biggest s**t going and hope that the other person(s) can have a better understanding of your needs and not just think of their own. It will start cooling down next week and I am sure that will be a great relief to many of us.

I second that. The word you needed to use about going into town was NO. Remember that. I would have been in the same boat as you.

Do not feel like a burden - you’re not! You couldn’t drag me kicking and screaming into town to look at clothes in this heat. I think whoever is making you feel a s..t is mean and inconsiderate! Stay in the shade and stay cool.