Is there anything in your life you wish you could have changed / overcome?

I try to have no regrets. The decisions that were made, right or wrong, were thought to be the best at the time so no point in looking back. I think the two saddest words in the English dictionary are "if only" so I try not to say them.

I regret getting a degree in business management. Wish I had gone for something art or science related. I could draw very well as a child and always enjoyed plants and have always been able to recall their scientific names without really trying. I also wish I hadn’t gotten married at 23. I think that was too young. Wish I had been more assertive and confident.

I fly everywhere, drive anywhere, picked the right career.

I do regret living at home while at University. Most of all I regret not keeping in touch with old friends.

Not something I could have changed as it's still (after 22 years and 24 surgeries) not known what caused my massive issues in the first place, but it's my health ...

Some of the decisions I made may have been wrong, as they massively affected my daughter, but staying with an abusive partner wasn't an option either, as I became so depressed that I couldn't really look after my children - they weren't able to come with me at the time as I couldn't afford a house big enough for me and them, but I picked them up from school, did clubs, tea, homework, bath and 'jammies' with them every day, all they did was sleep at his house - until he decided that driving 10 miles to get them (He could drive to Preston and back in a day from Berkshire) was too much and he got them childminders, who I have found out since they were adult, hit them on numerous occasions - one was a TA at their school! Until my divorce came through (took him 4 years!) there wasn't much else I could do, they couldn't sleep on a sofa ... not sure what else I could have done. Once it did come through I bought a house and my eldest came to live with me, youngest stayed with him, which was what they wanted. It was a difficult time, then the issues with my health started ....

Where shall I start. Leaving home at 18. Marrying my first husband. Marrying my second husband. Moving hundreds of miles away from my family. Looking back my life could have been so different. But I had no guidance either from home or school so most if my life was p***ing in the wind, aimlessly, carelessly, having no ambition, no understanding of the world. But thankfully I developed a strong sense of independence over the years, gaining confidence and a sunny friendly and optimistic disposition. I love driving and travel as much as I can. I just love taking off, going somewhere new to explore without expectations. And I'm very thankful for my very good health.

I can only offer my sympathy it must be dreadful having those fears. I feel it makes your world small. Since retiring my world has doubled in size it’s so lovely to be free to explore. Have you thought about looking at The Speakmans website or airlines do classes as well for people fearful of flying. Don’t forget we are not born fearful it’s something we learn.

I wish I could get rid of arthritis, so painful !! Sharron

Scapal and kittylester, I too have that fear. I cannot go up or downstairs without some sort of handrail. I was at the theatre the other night and had to go down the stairs to a lower exit against the rush and was unable to get across to the handrail and I did fall backwards and someone kindly heaved me up and the crowd cleared so I could reach the handrail. Pretty stupid of me, I should have waited until the crowd cleared and then gone, but we were on a special ticket which gave us access to a private room for cheese and wine in interval. Another time I was walking in Cornwall and came to some steps between fields with no handrail. So I actually turned back and walked the other way to avoid them. I am just so afraid of falling.

Thank you for your kind words ladies. I haven't shared that before, but it 'felt' good to do so on here.
Grandmafrench how lovely to see you on here. I used to love your posts on the Good Morning thread. Your kindness and wisdom were so obvious.
That fear of going downstairs scapa - I wonder if it has something to do with the need to look down to where the next step is? This brings the head forward ahead of the rest of the body, and as our heads are the heaviest part of the body (being, as they are, full of brains and wisdom 😉) it gives us the feeling of being pulled forward and down. I too need to hold on!

"Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth!" Pam Ayres.
Trained for nursing at Chelsea and Westminster, and retrospectively wish I had gone to one of the many excellent provincial hospitals, and made a life in the area. On the plus side, experienced London on the cheap, with a nurses home room provided.

Do I regret anything, not really, as shown in the best (and some of the worst) films involving time travel, had I done something different in the past, I may not be where I am today (which I am quite happy with).

Wish I had travelled the world while I had my youth and good health, I think it's so much more dangerous now so I don't encourage my grandchildren but if they choose too I'm happy for them

My pathalogical fear of birds,dead or alive! People think it's funny!😢. It ok tobe scared of dogs,cats,spiders,snakes etc but hilarious to be scared of birds😠...you can't get away from them!

I wish I had not been an only child with over bearing parents who ruled my life. I should have left years before and did what I wanted to do not what they wanted me to do.

Weird scalpal, me too! I know when my fear started but not why. I can carry washing downstairs but not anything that I have to balance.

I wish I had been brought up in a household where books, music and culture were important rather than the accumulation of money and objects. I wish also I had been shown more love and known how to show it to others. I have only learned how to display affection and love late in life.

I seem to have developed a fear of falling when going down stairs especially if there is no hand rail or husband to hold onto I know it is irrational but it seems very real. Where this started I have no idea but desperately wish it wasn’t the case.

DGD1 ended her text to me this morning with "Love you forever Nanny"

Taichinan that's so lovely.
Your granddaughter will have such wonderful memories of you to treasure for the whole of the rest of her life.
What a lovely legacy you have created for her, and I'm sure the rest of your family 🥰
Please try and believe in yourself, even just a little bit xx

Another here who’s lost confidence in driving. I used to be good at it too and passed my driving test first time. Shame really.

Anything I’d change? My impulsivity in my past life. My poor husband. He worked all the hours god sent but couldn’t keep up with my spending. Stupid me. Cost us dearly once many years ago. Finally I learned my lesson. Must have been 60 y.o. though when I did. Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

👋 GrandmaFrench! Lovely surprise to bump into you this evening.
😁

Believe that GD, Taichinan - and be happy that she feels you’re so worth loving. Your Grandmother was clearly a nasty old bat who certainly didn’t deserve to be included in your family and it’s sad that her awful behaviour has made a mark on a small child and her ability to trust.

The Gransnetters will feel like me - you’re really worth knowing. Your TaiChi gang must feel the same, so don’t worry that odd people won’t/don’t like you and wouldn’t value your friendship. They’re nuts if they don’t!

Me? FOF ✈️ - done it so much, hated it more each time, so now no more flying for us. Wish I loved it - especially since I live in France. But hey ho, some things can’t be changed.

Theexwife

I cannot drive on motorways, it is so frustrating, I had so many plans when I retired. I wanted to be able to go places without planning, although I like train travel having to plan is not what I was hoping for.

I had driven for nearly 25 years before I was forced into going on the motorway because I was sent to a different hospital to work and I could not get there any other way, it was lucky I had started as within a year due to my DH having a stroke he no longer wanted to and I have taken over , I have become a much more confident driver.
The thing I regret is not doing it earlier, I don't know why I had a thing about it.

I had a grandmother who was very over bearing and who lived with us from when I was five. In her eyes I was a horrible little girl and needed to be more like my (much older) sister. She may have been right of course - how will I know. Anyway her treatment of me drained all my self confidence and I vowed never to get close to people so that they would never find out how awful I was, and somehow I stuck to that - even though I married twice (my first husband died young) and had three children and now five grandchildren. People make friendly overtures towards me, but I still back away, even now I'm in my 80s. DGD1 ended her text to me this morning with "Love you forever Nanny" but I can't bring myself to believe she really means it. So yes, I do regret the damage that woman did to me, and that I never found the strength to recover from it.

Being deaf!!

I would love to know how it feels to have had normal hearing and not depended on hearing aids all my life. It is a hidden disability and some people are so ignorant!

My mother was very aware of how things looked but my father was much less bothered.

I have inherited my father's attitude but I wish I had been able to get away from my mother's concept of what was acceptable at a much younger age.

I was always worried about what people would think of me. So although I wanted to ‘do things’ I was afraid to. I let a lot of life and love pass me by.