Christmas

Well I do look forward to it, but just by way of it being a marker on the way to Spring. Those of us who are not thrilled by the extra stimulation of mixing with people we are normally happy not to meet, and eating and drinking in a forced way - must 'Keep Calm and Carry On' - it'll be over soon.

ruthiek ask family members to provide present wish lists, then buy online and you will neither be running around nor buying gifts that are not wanted.

I absolutely love Christmas and look forward to it all year. Yes, it’s happy and sad, missing loved ones who are no longer here and my children being little and the sheer joy that brought. Now I have grandchildren and the delights of Christmas all over again! The lights, the decorations, the carol services and the planning of food, gifts, shopping trips and happy times, I love it all! The last few years have been challenging with my own ill health, my younger daughter’s problems and some unpleasant confrontations with her but I refuse to let past unpleasantness spoil the season for me. Each year I have renewed enthusiasm and hope that things will be (almost!) perfect!

Granny bags
So agree with you , that sneaky black dog has been snapping at my heels for a couple of weeks , csnt be doing with running around trying to find the perfect present that no one wants really !

Me.
I was so pleased to see 5 wks today ( 21st Nov) will be Boxing Day. Yes I have family, yes I’m seeing them, yes there are youngsters in the family. But, it’s a whole lot of expectations, pressure, money and fuss.
Can’t wait for the holiday adverts on TV and spring bulbs popping there heads through.

I’ve never liked it much but think year will be awful. Think we will be on our own. As we dont get on well and hardly speak it will not help be a good day.

I like Christmas and always have done, although the way I spend it has changed drastically over the years. When I was a child up until I was a young adult, Christmas was huge with the extended family. When I was married with young children, we would go to my parents’ home along with my sister and her family. The cousins are all of an age, as were my cousins and myself, and we had lovely times. As our families grew up, Christmas grew smaller and my parents, and latterly my widowed mother, took turns to go to my sister or myself and we have our own families. Always enjoyable but much lower key. This year, my mother is going to my sister for Christmas and coming to us for new year. I agree with everyone else, Exdancer, you should put your foot down asap. It is still November, so plenty of time for your family to make other arrangements, which should include you being invited to join in with your family. Finally, but most importantly for me, is my Christian faith and the real reason for celebrating.

hollysteers I love your expression of the full Monty, which is exactly what it takes to put on a festive occasion, almost killing one in the process.

At our age we have to pass the mantle, time for a rest (you’ve earned it!) and let new mums take over and create new traditions for the kids, family.

If they don’t want to do it, you can still enjoy and celebrate your own way small scale.

Personally I love Christmas and start the music early, shopping done early, I only do small luncheons with friends now and do see my family in another state (small kids involved) when weather conditions are good.

I do know many people do not like the holiday. There are many factors in life contributing to a lack of interest or depression. I have a heavy heart when I think about that. I’m not oblivious to the misery in life. I wish I could change it so everyone could feel as grateful as I do.

I’m never depressed at Christmas or Thanksgiving - I spent many holidays working those days/wknds in the hospital so my staff could enjoy time with their families. It made me feel good.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

i think people should make the Christmas that they want and how they want it, whether it is Annewilko's choice, which would my idea of hell. or my family Christmas, changing only little over the years, which no doubt she would loathe.

This year for the first time ever, I am going to my son on Christmas Day, after church. DH would insist on spending the Day at home, so I have never spent the day with my son, and only twice with my daughter. We are all going to hers on Boxing Day. We all like board games, but are quite competitive!
I shall have my own car so I can go home when I am ready.

It is the week following that I don’t know what to do with. You never know who is free or who has family visiting or who has gone away. Or how many are home alone. None of my friends is widowed.

AnneWilko,,, I so admire you, not that I want to go to Spain, that you can do it alone! I have some friends here, (church) who go on holiday alone... wow! but then we are all different.

We did Christmas in Spain once. Different vibes but wonderful! No queuing for sprouts in heaving supermarkets (they are quiet right through, no silliness as here) and the sun was shining. It was lovely and warm too for walks along the paseo, looking at the sparkling Mediterranean and listening to to noisy little green parakeets chattering in the palm trees. I loved it because it was a ‘choice’. I wasn’t escaping anything or anyone. And we just relaxed, totally, seeing family upon our return.

I'm off to Spain solo for Christmas. I can't wait.

If I'm invited anywhere I just say 2 hours is my limit.

To me christmas will always be linked to the death of a much loved grandmother who died in november 1979. Since then I have never celebrated it, sent cards or bought gifts.

I have a business associate with a large warehouse. His wife loves hosting and he hates it. Over christmas and new year he tells his family he has to go into work and process orders. No one questions the fact that he says he must work. Its just something you do when you run your own business. He can do the work quickly then sits in his office with his feet up for several hours watching sport or reruns of old films. Just to get away from the family and the gangs of kids underfoot.

Hes in a bigger way of business than I am so I just close all my shops and put up an "out of office" bounceback until I choose to return. That will be around mid January.

Christmas can be whatever you make it. I used to do the whole caboodle - for the family (especially the kids) every year - bloody hard work it was, too.

We adapt/change with the times, though, and have every right to. Now, I do a 'seasonal feast' (Xmas dinner) early in December - so the family can all meet here. Kids bring various dishes and I do the basic stuff.

On the day itself, I'm a guest at my daughter's house - and help out a bit, but mainly relax and play with the grandkids.

No tree, no cards, no big pressies - just a few little bits, bought online, along with a cash gift to parents. They're shopping anyway and can choose the right things 'from Granny' for the little ones.

We all deserve to enjoy Christmas, so some years we'll book a few tables and eat out instead - why not?

CBBL may I say I envy you... been on my own since just before covid announced.. and still I struggle living alone.. I get out, church, have friends, cat at home, so why can I not settle as you do? ho hum

wicklowwinnie,, whilst I agree with you saying Christmas is for children, aside of my Faith, .. but I do not feel it is for only one day.. for me it is a fornight of lockdown!

Christmas is for children.
There is too much sadness for me now.
Fortunately it's only one day.

Ooh I love Christmas always have except when in lockdown and I was told on my own for it. I didn’t even bother putting tree up but I’ve just moved house and this is my first Christmas near my youngest so going there for Christmas dinner and my youngest grandson is at the exciting age of Santa being 4 last year went to a restaurant with my oldest but I didn’t think it was very Christmas didn’t have the same feel. But Christmas tea I’m having with my neighbors in the 8 bungalows 3 are going away and the others play turns having other neighbours around we all take something so none will be alone on the day. They have done it last couple of years so they told me.

Two years ago after a hectic Boxing day lunch I decided to hang up my pinny and say no more. In the January I told everyone and am quite happy to enjoy myself and go home to a tidy house with Mr. B and break open the chocolate and doze in the chair.

For the second year running, I will spend Christmas alone. I don't "dread it" but I do feel sad.
I will look forward to going to Church on Christmas Day morning, and will come home to make my own lunch. I will look to see if there are any films/programmes I want to watch on TV, and will play music if not.
I have a half brother and an adopted sister, but they have children and Grandchildren of their own, as well as living some distance away from me. I do not have children of my own, but I do have a (step) granddaughter, who also has her own child now, and do not expect to hear from any of my remaining relatives.
If Christmas day is fine - I will go down to the sea front and watch the waves for a while. I always find that soothing!

We enjoy Christmas! We downsized three years ago and don't have the big living room and long table that we used for so mant family Christmases, but don't mind. We were on our own on the day for the first time in 2016 after I reckon 44 Christmas Days and Dinners laid on by us. It was strangely peaceful and we made a good day of it. This year we are being hosted by DD and her partner, with his parents too but, if we hadn't been invited, we would still have found a way to make it special. I do NOT miss making the huge meal, with all its components.

My mothers mantra was "It's just another day", and she certainly let you know what she felt.
I think she passed the attitude on to me. Which I acknowledge now looking back.

Agree with RosiesMaw so many reasons for so many of us not to look forward to Christmas. For me it will be the second time without DH. I've been invited again to DS's and this time might even make it beyond an hour but can't summon up any enthusiasm for the day. I'd prefer to be at home with my memories instead of feeling like a spare part. Trying to be jolly seems wrong and yet I don't want to put a dampner on the day for others. Guess it's difficult for a lot of us GN's.

ah Christmas,, well don`t we, haven`t we, brought it on ourselves

it was celebrated as the day Jesus was born,, now, it is spend, spend, spend, eat, eat, eat..... and for people living on their own, well not all, but most,, loneliness ....
thank goodness my dil hears me and has invited me for Christmas Day lunch, they will collect and return me! I am blessed, but the rest of the fortnights holiday???