Christmas

V3ra yes, one needs to plan ahead. Give your grandaughter a few more years and she will be ready to take on the whole meal.

M0nica

I confess, I have a sucessor, ready, waiting and snapping at my heels.

DGD, 16, is already doing much of the Christmas day cooking the years DS and family have with DDiL's family.

M0nica my daughter always makes the Christmas cake, which used to be my Mum's role.
Last year my granddaughter, who was six, decorated it by herself. She's already drawn her design for this year!
I'm quite happy to let them get on with it 😁

Germanshepherdsmum

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

Just how I felt Germanshepherdsmum.

My Mum spent 24 years of my life giving us lovely festive times and I know she was sad and homesick for most of those years as she came from a large, close family but she tried not to show it.

So I took over from then on and let Mum put her feet up but she always insisted on making her own mince pies and sausage rolls.

I did enjoy Christmas when my kids were small but I don’t anymore. My Mum died in Dec 2020 and I miss her very much. I have never spent a Christmas anywhere other than my own home in 46 years!! My parents invited us when the kids were small but it would have meant carting bulky presents etc across the country so they came to me instead most years.

I do all the food shopping, cooking etc but the family prep all the veg and all the dishwashing afterwards. I like seeing my family enjoying their lunch. I only have 6 to feed this year.

We don’t have big families so we don’t have to buy many presents thank goodness. I don’t enjoy tramping around stores full of xmas tat either.

I don’t spend the day being sad but I am glad when it’s bedtime. Bah humbug!

My family do a three yearly rotation one year my husband and I, next year my son and daughter in law’s and the next it is my daughter and her partner’s turn. Works out okay although last year I was tired after our turn! I also have a birthday that week so it all go!

Germanshepherdsmum

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

I really think ExDancer should sit in a chair with her feet up, a 🍷 or whatever tipple by her side, munching on her favourite foods, with a party hat and paper whistle
"The kitchen's the room down the hall" 🥳
Mine's a g&t and a turkey dinner. Please.

I think I did ask on here a few years ago how many people would be doing EXACTLY what they wanted at Christmas, and many people were not, being tied into long standing family obligations.
Once the children were grown up with families of their own, the Bodach and I headed for the sun, and I’m off next week until it’s all over, as I certainly wouldn’t be looking forward to it. I’d suggest that if anybody doesn’t feel they can make changes this year, they let everybody know on Boxing Day that that was their swansong, and next year they’d be doing things differently. When we told our family that we were going away, they were all delighted to stay in their own homes on Christmas Day, ‘ in pyjamas and knee deep in wrapping paper’, as one daughter in law put it. Plenty time for a get together another day.

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

I can’t believe your family are so selfish ExDancer. I lost my dear Mum at 80 but had taken over from her 15 years earlier when I had my own family. She always did Christmas brilliantly and would gladly have carried on doing it but it’s just not fair to expect people to carry on regardless.

I confess, I have a sucessor, ready, waiting and snapping at my heels.

DGD, 16, is already doing much of the Christmas day cooking the years DS and family have with DDiL's family.

I love Christmas when there is time to get together and just have fun. I enjoy being busy and so am happy to cook etc, though we share the chores so no-one feels too exhausted.

However, I like Christmas to start on Dec 24th and finish on Jan 6th. I really don't like all the glittery tat everywhere from mid-October onwards as it raises expectations too high.

Last year I had to get some emergency milk on Boxing Day and was astonished to see that the store had been undecorated overnight and it was all back to normal.

I get a bit grumpy this time of year at the thought of Xmas because it all seems a lot of extra work.However when it comes I do enjoy it- but am also relieved to get back to normal too !DD has hosted a couple of years but doesn't want to this year as she's just started a new job.So it's everyone at ours again.But this year there's a new baby and a new puppy-differen DCs !And I've given myself a talking to to remind myself how lucky we are to have a loving family who want to spend time with us,and for DH and I to still have each other.I'm sure it's a terribly sad time for some and thoughts go out to them.

ExDancer

Me.

I've 'made' Christmas for the family for 60+ years and I'm heartily sick of it. I'll be 85 this Christmas, and although the family promise to take over and 'do it all', they never actually do.

What yydrasil says!
ExDancer, it's a bit late but book yourself on a cruise and let the rest get on with it
👍

Alternatively, just cook enough for yourself - all the things you love best.
There may be a thread on here on Christmas Day so those who are alone can be with others.

Honestly - if they won't give you a break and shop, prepare, cook, clear up, let them go without. 🤬

Christmas can be difficult for widows. When my DH died I used to fret about Christmas. I had always hosted everybody for Christmas but was relieved when my ACs took over the entertaining. I still don't feel quite the same about Christmas as I did when he was still here.

Germanshepherdsmum

Like Grannybags the black dog snaps at my heels - it is the thief of joy. I go through the motions, carefully select and wrap gifts, send cards, put the decorations up, cook the dinner, smile and am glad when it’s all over.

It's like reading my own thought GMS. I hate the occasion if I admit it either at home or at a DD's house. Even as a child, I don't think I got the thrill that others did.
So many crises seem to be linked to Christmas time all through my life.
I was an Infant's teacher and did all the things that were expected but hated the Nativity Play.

Christmas has been easy for me for many years now. One of my sons (the one without children) does the work. I used to go to him, but now he comes to me and makes the meal etc. We get in touch with the rest of the family, relax and have a pleasant, peaceful day.

Like Grannybags the black dog snaps at my heels - it is the thief of joy. I go through the motions, carefully select and wrap gifts, send cards, put the decorations up, cook the dinner, smile and am glad when it’s all over.

I look forward to the food, and if I cook it myself it never let's me down.

I love Christmas, i always have and always will do, but some Christmases more than others.

Last year I had a severe bacterial infection (doctor's description) which landed me in hospital in the summer and then I got COVID in the Autumn, and it left me very drained and I found Christmas a real effort, but this year, I am back on good form and really looking forward to this year. Especially as it may be the last one in our current home as we are considering down-sizing.

Usually I’m and excited as a child at Christmas. This year? No enthusiasm at all. I sort of wish it was over and am sad about that.

I hate it it brings back too many memories .

I’m lukewarm about doing the full Monty for Xmas now I’m widowed and DC away. However I do love seeing all the Christmas decorations etc and have an annual trip to London to see the lights and the beautiful Xmas windows like Fortnum and Masons.
My DC cook the meal, I buy the food and we all pull together on Xmas day here. I just keep it simple. So simple, last year I left the decs on my table top sized fake tree and slid it into a bin liner. This year, I will slide it out, ruffle it and Bobs your Uncle 😁🎄

I look forward to it every year. The festivity isn't particularly important but any opportunity to see my children and grandchildren is an absolute bonus for me/

I know that many people don't look forward to or enjoy Christmas but for me it is always a special time of year. I love seeing all the decorations and lights, the joy on Children's faces, wrapping up warm for a brisk walk. Yes it can be hard work entertaining but lovely when help is offered or even better when someone else hosts.

I hosted Christmas for family for many years. It was hard work but I enjoyed it. Then my elder son took over and for the last 20 years he has hosted. It was always lovely but I missed being the one to provide the dinner. And this year I am cooking it. I am quite excited about it. I hope I can remember how!

I find Christmas difficult too. All sorts of bad memories are stirred up and I am so thankful when we get back to normal again.
As Grannybags said, that old black dog starts sniffing around in the run up to Christmas.