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Have you ever said................ .....

(11 Posts)
swampy1961 Thu 23-Nov-23 14:21:27

............... not doing that again!!?

Going back some 18 years or so, we had invited DH's AC's for drinks and buffet food a few days after Christmas. They all accepted - come the day - I had prepared food and set it all out and we waited until they were due to turn up. Only none of them did!! DH was (I think) a bit miffed but since then I have never invited them for food and never will. Added to which none of them ever apologised.
I have catered when they have turned up for a coffee or drinks and put a few nibbles and munchies out which were easy shove in the oven things but won't ever set myself up for such rudeness or disappointment again by inviting them for a meal or buffet and we have been together 22 years now.
Anyone else said never again?

AreWeThereYet Thu 23-Nov-23 14:25:35

Many, many times but don't always stick to it 😄😄😄😄 I think I'm a bit slow at learning my lessons. I always think "it will be better next time" but it rarely is. Eventually the lesson sinks in.

Skydancer Thu 23-Nov-23 14:32:18

I gave a present of what I thought would be a wonderful experience day to a sibling some years ago. I was totally insulted when he said he didn't want it and gave it back to me!! I haven't given presents since then.

Bella23 Thu 23-Nov-23 15:11:58

Many times to a particular person and I'm always overruled as they ask themselves,they give us a few dates that fit in with their calendar, not ours put us on the spot and yet again they are visiting.

biglouis Thu 23-Nov-23 15:35:00

I said it when I got divorced and stuck to it. Never married again or wanted to. Ended long term relationships because the other party wanted more in the way of "committment". Men have their uses when you need something heavy lifting or shifting but thats no reason to keep one around all the time. Would rather have a robot and at least I can stick it in the cupboard when I dont need it.

hollysteers Thu 23-Nov-23 15:48:36

When Covid restrictions eased a bit and we could have people in the garden, I invited a couple of girlfriends round for coffee in the back garden. There is a way round the side so they didn’t have to come through the house. I made an effort outside, tablecloth, nice tray, cake etc.
At the very last moment, they cancelled for no particular reason. I was really tearful as living alone, I had been feeling the isolation, like everyone and was really looking forward to the (distanced) company. It was so unlike me to be upset over a coffee meeting, but that’s Covid for you.
One of the friends is pretty unreliable anyway, but that occasion really got to me.

Sago Thu 23-Nov-23 16:10:02

Yes!

My late narcissistic mother insisted we stayed with her for my 40th birthday, I stupidly agreed.

We arrived on the Friday evening, not a sniff of food so my husband got us fish and chips, on the Saturday my husband suggested we went out for dinner, my mother said she had a meal planned.

The meal was Tesco value sausage beans and chips.

During the meal she asked me if I had some nice recipes as my cousin and daughter were staying with her the following weekend.

I vowed I would never spend a night or eat a meal in her house ever again.

I kept my vow.

mumofmadboys Thu 23-Nov-23 16:15:26

Swampy 18 years is a long time ago! Forget it and invite them again.

Judy54 Thu 23-Nov-23 16:43:14

Yes Swampy I agree with mumofmadboys 18 years is a long time. Have they ever invited you, do you have a good relationship with them. It sounds like this was a one of so perhaps time to forgive and move on after all it is the season of goodwill. Hope things will be brighter for you.

swampy1961 Thu 23-Nov-23 17:54:57

Aside from weddings over the years, the odd family meal out and a Boxing Day do last year - we have never been invited for a meal. They just don't seem to do that kind of thing even with their own DM so never managed to grasp what the family dynamic is there. But one has now emigrated, another seems to prefer his in-laws and the other is more into friends than family so I still wouldn't throw the invite out but I'm happy to cater if they turn up on the doorstep - just not doing all the work for nothing!!
We look after GCs and feed them breakfasts and tea around school and have no issue doing so - they just don't seem to do family meals or get togethers on that side.
It's a different matter altogether with my AC's and their in laws - plenty of mixing in and social activities. My DS is off to his in laws for Christmas (they alternate families each year) and DD's in laws invited us to join them this year. DH doesn't seem to fussed to be honest and just goes with the flow but doesn't himself issue any invites probably because he wouldn't want to cook. hmm

BrightandBreezy Thu 23-Nov-23 23:43:10

Yes ... I have said never again. 49 years ago after the birth of my first and only much loved dd. Think that decision was made about 5 minutes after the birth grin