Down in the dumps

Thank you for all the kind messages on my self-pitying post about being down in the dumps. I have given my head a bit of a wobble, pulled myself together and been out for coffee and indulgent cake with a good friend.
Actually this last is I am sure what has helped the most.
The fear of appearing needy or risking rejection is often what stops those of us on our own from being more proactive in socialising
It only takes a No to set you right back, but with that in mind I will take the initiative more often instead of waiting for contact.
So if I haven’t replied to your DM’s individually yet, it’s not that I am ungrateful. While I am sorry that anybody shares how I was feeling, it is comforting to know we are not alone.
Thank you 🙏

Shortest day today.....hooray. Tomorrow can only get better!

It's hard to keep spirits up in these wet, grey days. I've seen about 5 rays of sun in the last couple of weeks. Motivation can be low especially if something is upsetting in the background [family/money/health worries].

I'm on my own, family grown and very busy, very few friends and have to find the motivation to keep my home, life, mental and physical health ticking long nicely.

I rely on routine and making a plan for the day before I get up. I get up at a set time, like it or not, but before that I think things through [life/how I'm feeling, what bills to see to etc.]. I meditate for a bit, and also count my blessings, maybe review a vivid dream. There is always a task to see to when I'm up and about ...after a cuppa and a biscuit, this is essential.

For me, to plan the day [usually according to the weather] is the key. Even if it's just to plan where to go for a walk, to get a wash load done, an e mail to write, a book to read, shopping to do, some decorating, some gardening, a drive, trip to a local village...just to keep busy in that day. Then to enjoy leisure time/a hobby I have and enjoy each meal during that day.

If I can enjoy the days in small ways I feel ok. It's when I drift with no plan, not sure what to do that I feel out of kilter and prone to my spirit dipping. But soon the nights will get lighter and I'm so happy when December is out of the way.

paddyann54

J52 Sol Invictus

youtu.be/9-aic4qHQWA?si=ZJeLikttWTMdy0c7

Thank you, what a beautiful song. As a singer I really appreciated it.

I have been taking antidepressants for years now. I completely understand how you’re feeling. There is some excellent advice on here. I hope it helps you to know that many of us face the same challenges, depression can make you feel so alone. 💐

J52 Sol Invictus

youtu.be/9-aic4qHQWA?si=ZJeLikttWTMdy0c7

💐 Sorry you’re felling down. I read more than post, but you always come over as someone who has a positive take on life.
It’s the shortest day, so with hope ( and a following wind, and there’s plenty of that) the days will get lighter for you.

So many caring, helpful responses here. I too wake with a really sad feeling especially in the winter but I’ve found, as someone has suggested, that a light box helps and upping my vitamin D. I too am a dog owner and a cuddle with him always lifts my spirits.
As GSM says, GN can be a friend and a curse. It’s difficult at times to read about family meet-ups when your own are 10000 miles and 11 hours time difference away but then again, I read about family fallouts; how some grandparents seem to be overused and taken for granted and at least I haven’t got that concern. I’ve not, so far, become embroiled in some of the heavy GN discussions but you get to see arguments brewing and begin to learn who and when to avoid. Might seem cowardly but better than being unnecessarily hurt and dwelling on it.
Tomorrow I believe is the shortest day and although it seems to take a long time to notice any difference there will be more daylight and maybe sunnier, drier days to lighten the mood.

I’m all if the above, my husband died at Christmas but I force myself to behave as I always did, join in meals out, with friends that go home to their families, buy and wrap presents, harder than ever this year, been a real effort. My grandchildren now grown, lovely all of them, don’t see them much which is natural, I was the same. They used to keep me going. I can’t wait to take the decorations down after Christmas,
if it was left to me they wouldn't go up, but I do it for those that might visit. I usually make myself go out for some time each day, harder over Christmas though. You need some interaction with people, it’s all texts now.
I’m out today for a few hours with a friend, then on my own until Christmas Day, but no many don’t have that and my heart goes out to them, I have planned something to do each day just few hours, that gets me through.

I battle depression on a daily basis and it would take over if I let it. I’m not on my own and sometimes it is a blessing to just have a few hours by myself to think. Going through a bit of a routine like getting up, having breakfast then a shower and a few exercises does help. My go to though is my crafts. Knitting, crochet and watercolour painting. Sometimes I plan a painting in my head and then gather the stuff together and get started in the day. Also have some things to look forward to. Maybe just a coffee with a friend or neighbour. At the moment I am battling sciatica, the weather, christmas blues etc but it won’t get me down. Why not try incorporating a walk into the day or a car or bus ride? Take care my friend and I am sending you lots of hugs.

I seem to have a feeling of gloom when I wake. Don’t really know why, as I have many blessings to count. I think it started in Lockdown. And if I wake in the night and can’t get back to sleep, all my problems race through my mind.

I’m not one to lie in bed once I wake up, and the feeling goes after I get up and about.

I’m not a fan of Christmas, and this time of year is not ny best time.

I do know that feeling. I have to get up and take the dogs out, feed the cats and chickens and start the day even if I'd rather disappear under the duvet! The morning dog walk was always what saved me but with the almost daily rain fellow dog walkers don't want to chat. The mud is just awful across the fields but I do try to stay positive and I do know that daily walk does lift my spirits

try watching these gentlemen, they always cheer me,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb9JI37bd3Q

Sounds Of The 60s always cheers me up. Tony Blackburn’s silly wittering and jokes, combined with some great music does the trick. I’m smiling whilst typing this.

I agree about the bad weather not helping. One of the reasons we left the UK. It sounds daft but it is very real, I used to get it a lot. I think even going to the local shops, just getting out helps. One of the reasons dogs are so popular- people have to take them for a walk and then they chat with other dogwalkers.

A nice big mug of tea and toast get dressed booted up gloves etc go for a walk it raises my spirits even if the weather is rubbish. We all have down days I have had my fair share this year.
I have actually dreaded waking up not knowing what news the day is going to bring. Because of a family health issue but I honestly think getting out the house blows the cobwebs and clouds away for a little time at least. 💐

Dark winter mornings do feel gloomy. I recently bought a light box panel to have next to my bed. 20 mins of bright light before I get up definitely enhances my start to the day. Worth a try? Cost about £28 from Amazon- slim and compact & easily fits onto my bedside cabinet. Bought after watching info on ‘Sad’ disorder on Tv.

I think Christmas is built up to be a time of year which we should all enjoy, no matter how we may really feel.
'Tis the season to be jolly even if we feel lonely and miserable.

Having a routine does help and I hope you'll be spending Christmas Day with family, RosiesMaw.
At least with a dog you have someone to talk to and care for and I'm sure they understand what you say. 🐕

Even if you're not religious, are there any Carol services at local churches? Sometimes there will be mince pies and mulled wine afterwards and a Carol service is always uplifting. 🎶🎵🎶

To everyone who's feeling down in the dumps sending 🤗

Good news, that's a relief Iam64 🙂

I work to help people who are often poorly to get them to and from their medical appointments. Often without family, just a short phone call cheers them immensely and they are always immensely grateful.
Loneliness seems to be the saddest situation to me.

If I wake feeling depressed, I force myself to go through the motions of showering, dressing, etc, and gradually start to feel more positive. But I think if someone is severely depressed they need help.

GSM 🐕💖🙏🏿

I’m sorry RM. As you probably know I have had to take antidepressants for many years so I understand that thing about ‘some days’. I dream a lot and waking after an unsettling dream makes for a bad start to the day. Also these grey, often wet, days aren’t helpful - a bit of sunshine makes the world seem so much better. I also find that GN can be both a friend and a curse - the particularly nasty posts to which you can’t respond as you would wish, which stay with you. And so many live close to their children and can see them very frequently, of which we are reminded daily on GN - I know that isn’t the case for you, as it isn’t for me. I sometimes wonder if GN does me more harm than good.

I don’t have an answer. I wish I did. But you and I both have to get out of bed each morning because thank goodness we have the best friends in the world - dogs. And I try not to think of ‘what if’ because it’s seriously depressing. I think you’re a far more social animal than I am - I am by nature pretty solitary. Perhaps the courses you enjoy have now shut down until the New Year? If so, try to look forward to when they start again and perhaps you can arrange some meetings with friends after the holidays? Everyone is so busy with their families now, and when on your own it’s all too obvious. I hope you’re spending Christmas with your children - something really special to look forward to. 💐 from me to you, and a hug.

I always have a list of jobs to get through because I run a business and the parcels will not pack themselves. So I have to eventually get out of bed no matter how bad I may feel. However I do have a leisurely breakfast first and that cheers me up no end.

Dogs help here and I bet Rosie helps you maw. I’ve been investigated under the 2 week rule, plus 2 other significant health things ongoing.
An unpleasant procedure this weekend confirmed I don’t have cancer - I was almost giddy for 24 hours, then woke feeling the grim after effects of the drugs and procedure. I had to have a word with myself to get up shower and start my day.

Maybe this time of year is the thing RosiesMaw. High emotions just under the surface, waiting to catch us out. Plus, here in the north west apart from a bit of snow, it’s been raining since October.

Strategies - I find smiling at others, chatting in the supermarket queue, exchanging friendly easy chat as the checkout worker puts my shop through - brightens everyone’s day.
Good thread x

RosiesMaw 💐 and a hug if you want it. I think the weather doesn't help at this time of year. That, and long periods of darkness affect my mood. I try to force myself to go out somewhere because otherwise I would be a hermit. Even a visit to the shops helps. I have a to do list which can be mundane ie empty then load dishwasher. I internally praise myself when I complete a task. I text friends. I listen to music. I agree with Aveline. Sometimes I force myself to do something. I do wallow for a day but I'm very careful not to let it continue. Some people do suffer from the lack of sunshine - seasonal affective disorder - and probably should try to get outside to help. My mum does.