Best friends - what makes one and do you have one?

For years had 3 ‘best friends’! The longest has been nearly 60 years & still going strong. One of 40 years died 18 months ago & still miss him every day! My other best friend i have just heard is in hospital after falling, hitting her head & suffering a bleed & stroke! So scared now that i may lose another friend of 30+ years! Have a had a very good friend for about 15 years who could be called a best friend but how many best friends do we have? I think I am lucky to still have the friends that I do have!

Although I do join clubs etc not only have I moved from place to place I did find it difficult to make friends when younger after I started to get seizures again at the age of 14 up to 48 yrs of age, all due to measles when aged 4 yrs of age.. At the time I had a really great friend who I used to stay with etc as we were both at boarding school.
However, the morning after I had the seizure she and most of the form didn’t want me near them so I had to leave the school after waking the girls up at night. If I hadn’t left I wouldn’t have met my dear late husband who caught the same bus when I attended another school.
This has been the case through my life once people hear that I have epilepsy, even with my parents and one sibling who didn’t want me to join family reunions etc.
I am definitely not asking for sympathy and I am fine now only get the odd aura. I just hope, after you have read the story of my life!You won’t turn away from people who get seizures. I have tried to help the youngsters by speaking out at conferences etc We are now in a different society as most have great careers.

Besides DH I had a best friend we even looked alike! We were friends for years but then she did something so awful to me I walked away , I still miss her and often think of something and reach for the phone . Sadly she had ruined my trust in people and whilst I have good friends I don’t have a’”best” friend . Saying that I am still in touch with 2 sisters we have been friends since we were 2 and at now 70 we have a wealth of history but as I moved “down south” we don’t see each other very much . Isn’t it funny how women keep their friends but men not so much

I didn't really have a "best friend" any longer, people change as they get older and I'm less tolerant too. I do still have two good friends but don't see much of them.
I have many friendly acquantances and I'm perfectly capable of being friendly and sociable when the chance arises but don't feel the need of a best friend.
Like kittylester, my best friend is (and always has been) my husband, though I'm also very close to my youngest daughter and see two of my other children and my DIL often.
Other than them I'm fairly solitary and not always very sociable.
My husband doesn't really have friends, his have always been people from work and now he is retired he rarely sees them. His three oldest friends have all died and I think that this may have affected how he feels about making friends, he is even less sociable than I am.

Apart from my late DH my one best friend passed away just before i returned to live in the UK so, no, I don't have a best friend. Don't really have any close friends although I do have. a few acquaintances. DH and I were always very happy on our own, he had to be very sociable/outgoing at work so once he retired we were happier not having to bother with many social events and enjoyed ourselves travelling and pursuing our interests.

I consider a really good friend to be one who even though I may not have heard from in a while can just pick up where we left off.
My DH is actually my best friend and always has been. I have other friends and acquaintances but DH and I are soul mates. We are very lucky to have one another for almost 55 years.

Best friends can be new friends as well. At an age when every year my Christmas card list gets smaller due to people dying, it's even more important to keep and make new social connections. I've found the u3a invaluable for finding people with interests in common. Joining a group gives me instant access to potential new friends, who may indeed become 'besties'. Remember we're all in the same boat.

I don't have a bestie but I met someone recently who did, I felt a bit second best I have to admit, like I'd never live up to her. My family are my friends & I never use the term bestie cos it implies there is also a 'second bestie' or worstie, I don't have the energy for anyone else except family now.

I have 3 “besties” 2 I’ve known since I was 11, and 1 I met about 18 years ago and I feel very grateful and blessed to have these 3 lovely ladies in my life! We all “work” quite hard with each other to maintain contact in busy lives and would all “be there” at the drop of a hat if I needed anything and I’d be there for them too. Aside from these three I have maybe only another 3 close friends, though I am also quite close to two of my female cousins too. Friends can be make too but I just happen to have female “besties”

My BF from school sadly died aged 21 from a thrombosis many years ago a week before her wedding. I was reluctant to make close friends after that.
However I have renewed contact with some school friends recently and, as mentioned above, it is comforting to have a shared history especially as my only sibling lives abroad.

I think friends are people who have each other's backs, their best interests at heart and are willing to enjoy the ups and endure the downs alongside each other. Like all relationships a friendship needs work to be maintained of course.
I am fortunate that I have several long-term friends but my best friend is my DH of nearly 40 years standing now.

I have 2 friends I met at school when we were 11. We meet up several time a year. I have one friend from art school who I see a couple of times a year. I have a friend I worked with in Cornwall and, although the distance means we go for years without meeting, we still keep in close contact on line. Although she wasn't exactly a friend I always kept in touch with my godmother. I hadn't seen her for some years but I used to ring once or twice a year and we always picked up our conversation where we'd left it the last time. Sadly she died of Covid shortly after her 100th birthday.

I've just done the same Grandmabatty, still better two reports rather than none

I've reported the last couple of scam posts. Nasty.

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I have just one sister left. The middle sister was taken cruelly by Motor Neuron Disease four years ago. The two of us who are left are still best friends and always will be, but how long is 'always'? I have other good friends, though nowadays distance makes contact sporadic, but the phone is a good friend too.

My best friend has been that since we were both nine years old . She is now 71 I am 70 our birthdays just 9 months apart. She was my chief bridesmaid I was her matron of honour. We are both godmothers to each others children. She was an only child I had a brother much younger than me and we were never close, he died last year and Im sorry to say I don’t miss him he chose to not be in touch years ago.

My friend however I consider to be as close as if she were my sister and she feels the same.

She totally “gets me” we have a huge history together , although in the last few years we live further apart( for years we lived very near each other) we meet up as often as we can and chat on the phone all the time. She is coming for a visit in early Feb and I can’t wait . I dont just like her I love her after 61 years of friendship

My husband.

Met as small children, he's the friend I need in my life.

Orlean's song Still The One speaks to my life.

We've been together since way back when
Sometimes I never wanna see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years
You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear
You're still the one I wanna talk to in bed
Still the one that turns my head
We're still having fun and you're still the one
I looked at your face every day
But I never saw it 'til I went away
When winter came, I just wanted to go (wanted to go)
Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow
You're still the one that makes me laugh
Still the one that's my better half
We're still having fun and you're still the one
You're still the one that makes me strong
Still the one I wanna take along
We're still having fun and you're still the one (yes, you are)
Ooh
Ooh
Changing, our love is going gold
Even though we grow old, it grows new
You're still the one that I love to touch
Still the one and I can't get enough
We're still having fun and you're still the one
You're still the one who can scratch my itch
You're still the one that I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun and you're still the one
You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun and you're still the one
You are still the one
You're still the one
We're still having fun and you're still the one

I feel blessed to have many friends in my life. I don’t ‘grade’ them as, each in their own way, I value them all very much. I know what you all mean though about friendships that pass the test of time - too many years to count in some cases. Lucky me as those friendships are just like putting in a pair of comfortable slippers. We know one another's full back story and have trust that has built up over time I think.

Funnily enough have any of you ever experienced the strange situation when you bring two friends - who independently are very dear to you - to one another thinking ‘oh they’re bound to get on!’. Not so! Which surprised me but made me realise it’s pretty random who gets on with who really well in a ‘special’ way.

I have a few close friends. One in particular still lives in The Netherlands. She gets me and we keep in touch. We would drop everything if we needed to support each other.
I also have old friends who I don’t regard as close and I have new friends who I like to spend time with.
Having said that I don’t have many friends and don’t regard one as a best friend.

I dont think of "best friend" belonging mainly to teenagers. It is the person to whom you would instinctively turn in time of trouble or distress. Hopefully they would feel the same about you to make the relationship reciprocal.

I had a best friend in school but she emigrated to Australia in the 1960s as a ten pound pom. She became an Australian citizen and made a good life there. We remained in touch for many years but I have never been to see her. Australia was never on my bucket list.

I had a best friend I met through work but she estranged me for reasons I still do not understand after a seemingly trivial argument. This is still unfinished business.

My best friend now is my nephew by marriage. I have always found it easier to form friendships with men than with women. Men do not judge me in the same way for my decision never to have children or to be involved in the wearing trivia of "family life".

I've retained 3 friends from school days, two I met in infants, although we didn't actually connect as friends until the juniors. They both had Irish parents and I spent a lot of time around one of their houses and loved her parents, they had such an amazing, whacky, Irish off the wall way of expressing themselves. Their house was almost a drop in-centre for their children's friends, everyone was welcome, I think subliminally I wanted to model myself on them in some respects. The Irish side of my family is further back and didn't figure so large in my life they were a great introduction to Irish humour.

My other friend and probably I'd say my best friend, didn't come up through juniors with me and the other two, we met at my convent senior school she was one of the protestant fee payers, as opposed to us, the non fee paying catholic rabble who were there courtesy of our parish priest. She and I were often in trouble together, nothing major, impertinence mainly, well at least our nuns version of what they deemed that to be, which could mean anything from showing too much leg, daring to disagree with them, the wrong look on one's face, known these days as "resting bitch face" and depending on which way the wind was blowing and what side of the bed they'd got out of, quite often the wrong side! all in all the most minor transgression could land us in their bad books. I think our friendship started simply because she and I are at one with our sense of humour, often absolutely ridiculous at times, so much so, that our respective children often wondered what the hell set us off, we've holidayed as families together quite a few times, I don't think there's anyone who makes me laugh more than she does and she's said the same about me, kindred spirits and partners in crime! We're always What'sapping each other with nonsense even now and sometimes serious stuff as well.

I've retained one great friend from my working life, so that relationship is nearly 50 years old, she is West Indian well born in Jamaica but brought up here. Again we clicked straight away. She was the first black person I'd met, I've learned a lot from her about West Indian culture, and again she has a wicked sense of humour. I also count my husband's daughter and daughter in law as close friends, we're very close.

I know it's corny, but I echo Kitty, my husband is my greatest friend.

I have a few “best friends”’that are connected to different times in my life.All are equally important to me , two are from my nurse training days and although we live a fair way from each other we meet regularly. We have been through difficult times together and pick up where we left off when we meet. We still laugh a lot !
My other 3 close friends are local, we all met when our children were very young. Sadly one died in an awful road accident 4 years ago and I missed her so much when my DH died. Almost as sad another is at the early stages of dementia. I see or talk with her most days and we reminisce together about our young busy mum lives.
I am fortunate in being close to my two siblings but they live 2 hours away.
My close friends are very important to me and I will do anything to help and support them now we are all entering that stage in life where it’s not so much fun anymore.

I met my best friend on the first day at grammar school over 70 years ago. We both have moved many times and lived various countries. In the time we were bringing up our children it was a loose connection but the thread never broke. We have not seen each other for years but still can talk on the phone for hours often reminiscing about the fun we had in our teens and twenties

I met my best friend at school when I was 13 and she was 12. We just clicked, we were the awkward squad, that didn't fit in. That was nearly 70 years ago. Our friendship has waxed and waned. I married and had children, she didn't and had a high powered job, but when my sister died, my friend was the first person I spoke to outside the family, the same when our parents died.

I had one other dear friend. we met through our children and again we just clicked and as we lived near each other ran a local children's charity, we saw much of each other when our children were school age. She died quite suddenly under tragic circunstances in 2022. I still cannot quite believe it has hapened and the thought of it can still reduce me to tears.

I have other friends, but the two above are the ones who are/were, I suppose, joint best friends.