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Don't accept lifts from strange men.

(131 Posts)
Curtaintwitcher Tue 30-Jan-24 07:45:27

Yesterday, it rained all day. However, I don't mind the rain, so went out shopping. I don't have a car, so walk everywhere. I was making my way home, one hand pushing a loaded shopping trolley, the other carrying a full bag. A car stopped beside me and a man got out. He was a complete stranger, but he asked if I would like a lift home. He obviously wasn't a neighbour as he asked where I live. Of course, I declined. Am I the only one who finds this a bit odd?

SeaWoozle Thu 08-Feb-24 11:41:48

I don't think the risk has changed just that with social media and news being readily available at the click of a button, it's far easier for some people to show who they really are AND for it to be advertised quickly and all over the national & worldwide press. I also don't think the risk is any less just again, news travels way faster now which I believe fuels people's fear and paranoia. Whilst I'd be reluctant to accept to lifts from strangers, I am still someone who will stop to ask people walking in the pouring rain if they'd like a lift or if they need any help. I'd rather be the person who asked than didn't. I've picked up stray kids in the middle of the night who've missed the last bus home, a woman who was soaked through in the rain who had been thrown out of court that morning & had already walked miles in the rain and was sobbing at the side of the road. Maybe I'm naive and maybe I'm too soft. And maybe I've just always been lucky. But I'll keep being me.

NannyEm Sun 04-Feb-24 03:09:58

I would refuse but thank them, if I didn't know the person. How would I explain taking a lift with someone I didn't know, when we are trying to teach our children not to accept a ride and to be wary of strangers. You can't tell just by looking at a person if you would be safe or not. I think it's better just to have a blanket rule for the whole family.

jocork Sat 03-Feb-24 18:31:27

I probably wouldn't accept a lift now but back in the 70's I regularly picked up hitchhikers as I didn't like driving long distances alone. I also hitchhiked with friends but once hitchhiked alone and the two men who picked me up gave me a real telling off for hitchhiking alone. They said "We are OK but not everyone is!" They made me promise never to do it again and I didn't!

Josie883 Sat 03-Feb-24 17:58:14

I think he was just trying to help an elderly woman in the rain, but I still would never accept a ride from a stranger.

Chestnut Sat 03-Feb-24 17:29:45

Despite the fact that I hitched up and down the country in strangers' cars, vans and lorries, I always asked them where they were going. If they were not going my way I didn't get in. If they asked where I was going I never said. It would have been awkward if they said 'Jump in, I'll take you there anyway'. So that was a kind of safety thing because I knew we were heading to the same place.

As a teenager I was waiting for a bus one night on a leafy, fairly remote road. A man pulled up in a car and offered me a lift. Obviously I didn't get in! I'm not daft despite having hitched many hundreds of miles. Maybe he thought I was stupid.

JaneJudge Sat 03-Feb-24 17:02:40

If never get into a strangers car, ever. Even decades ago. It isn’t a safe thing to do

kircubbin2000 Sat 03-Feb-24 16:46:56

MissAdventure

I bet there was a bit of an atmosphere in his house the next day. smile

His daughter was in tears.

Pammie1 Sat 03-Feb-24 15:14:52

I think most people would refuse wouldn’t they ? And by the same token, most men innocently offering a lift to a woman in similar circumstances would entirely understand the refusal. I hope so anyway.

MissAdventure Sat 03-Feb-24 15:07:16

smile
Ahhh... thats lovely.
65 years!!!

Celieanne86 Sat 03-Feb-24 15:00:34

I accepted a lift in his lorry from a young man I only knew by sight 65 years ago, a year later I married him 😍

MissAdventure Sat 03-Feb-24 13:08:22

I bet there was a bit of an atmosphere in his house the next day. smile

kircubbin2000 Sat 03-Feb-24 13:06:49

Talking about lifts I was in the pub one night when a man fell of his stool drunk. Apparently he lived near me so some other customers helped him in to my car and we set off to take him home. Unfortunately none of them knew which house he lived in and he couldn't tell us.
When I stopped he pointed at a house and one of the men ran up to tell his wide. An elderly lady in a dressing gown answered and had no idea who he was.Eventually rang his daughter and delivered him to an angry wife.

kircubbin2000 Sat 03-Feb-24 13:02:39

I accepted a lift home after a night class but panicked when he turned off in the opposite direction. I asked him where he wad going and he explained that the country road would be quicker than the main road. He wad right and I felt embarrassed for suspecting him.
Another time I offered a lift to a man from a different class as he was going for a late train. I hadn't interacted with him at the class and he seemed pleasant but when we got to his house he invited me in which I thought strange as it was 11 at night.

4allweknow Sat 03-Feb-24 12:20:35

Nannashirlz Yes, I know. Just human nature seeing someone in such horrible situation to offer help. Suppose a case of being willing to help but not willing to accept any. Life is full of risks.

HelterSkelter1 Sat 03-Feb-24 11:47:22

Good to listen to your gut reaction JustkeepswimmingDonna.

I think long lonely walks along a road are not a good idea. I think we have to be alert as we would have been in pre historic times and engage the senses. The world is a different place from that of our childhood. Sadly.

JustkeepswimmingDonna Sat 03-Feb-24 10:23:24

shockangry

JustkeepswimmingDonna Sat 03-Feb-24 10:22:05

When out for a long walk (alone) out of my village along deserted country roads a man in a van (with no back windows) passed me. The road is long, but it's a dead end with few houses and a couple of farms. A few minutes later I spotted the same van parked up in a kind of lay-by. The man was just sitting in the driver seat. Now I know it was probably nothing, but I do not take unnecessary risks. So I stopped walking well before I got to the van and flagged down the next car that came along - which was an older lady in a cute little red Fiat 500. I explained my predicament and asked if she would give me a lift about half a mile - just far enough away from the van and back into 'civilisation' . I have not walked out that way alone since.

Josie883 Sat 03-Feb-24 04:41:26

I think he just wanted to help an elderly woman in the rain.

JadeOlivia Sat 03-Feb-24 00:14:04

No, I wouldn' t get in with a man or a woman.Nowadays the only thing to do is offee somebody an umbrella!

FranP Fri 02-Feb-24 21:31:04

Well strange reversal here. I live about 1.5 miles from town centre, and a high proportion of the area is bungalows, and lots of retired folks. Before COVID, I would always drive, stop and be accepted. Will minimal rates here, and high vaccination levels, I am gradually getting back. I find older men think I am strange and mostly refuse, but ladies more than happy to. Stopping to ask a gent leaning on a wall last week, he almost fell into my car. He told me that he needed a doctor's appointment and the only way to get it was to walk into the surgery by 8:30 and hope they take pity on him. He needed his asthma and heart meds checked but had been trying to get through for weeks. I found him the number of the community transport bus and delivered him to the surgery door. But it did make me go back to offering even if I get strange looks

LovesBach Fri 02-Feb-24 20:28:33

It is a sad situation now. My dear old uncle, in his eighties, used to stand at his front gate every afternoon and chat to the children and their mothers, walking past his house, when school finished. Sometimes children drew pictures for him, and they shared sweets. It was a bright spot in his day. One day he told me that he wasn't going to do that any more; he said he had read some terrible things in the newspaper, and if he talked to the children they might feel it was allright to talk to men in the street.

Grammaretto Fri 02-Feb-24 20:10:11

In the north of Scotland and on the islands it's still common to ask for or to offer lifts. If someone is dressed for hiking, you wouldn't but in driving rain and wind definitely.

I can still remember a, strange to me, woman with a car full of kids stopping to offer me a lift on a rainy day . I refused as I'd been told to never get into a stranger's car. This was over 65 yrs ago but it still rankles that my DM , instead of praising me, said it would have been fine to accept because there were children and it was a woman!

OurKid1 Fri 02-Feb-24 19:22:20

Am I the only person on here who finds it strange that a driver stopped for a woman he didn't know? Given the way that society is nowadays (sadly) it just seems a very odd thing to do. I think I'd be telling the Police - not 999 obviously, but whatever number it is we contact when it's not an actual emergency. There may be other similar reports in that area and they should be aware.

MissAdventure Fri 02-Feb-24 19:19:23

Ever heard of a guy called Worboys?
A taxi driver...

Frenchgalinspain Fri 02-Feb-24 19:17:03

Better safe than sorry. I would never get into a car with someone I did NOT know fairly well.

I would of called a Taxi from the shops.