Going back to work

Btw Being a “working” mum, aka paid work outside the house, doesn’t absolve us from most Mum duties! Much as SAH Mum’s make a huge contribution to family life and probably do all the household chores, we working Mum’s still did/do I fair share at home too.

Germanshepherdsmum

I found it a miserable thing to do . But you’re happy for your husband to work?

You do make me smile GSM!

I just think the OP has been extremely fortunate and is now probably scared to death! I know I would be!

It’s very unusual these days for mum’s not to return to work once little ones start school. I had no choice, I was a single mum for 9 years and then when started again with new husband and more children I had to work financially.

Even my friends with well paid husbands returned to the workplace when their children went to secondary school.

Personally I like having my own occupational pension and the comfort of knowing I qualify for my full state pension at the end of this year when I finally turn 66!

Whilst I do not agree with is everything GSM has posted I can understand her frustration. I have advised biscuit to get a pension forcast.
Tell me OP why are you so reluctant to know what your pension is?
Also I have looked through your posts and nobody has used the word parasite,do you feel that about yourself.
You asked for advice, posters have put their time and effort into advising you, but you seem to not want to hear, you only want them to agree with you.
One poster said get your ducks in a row, take their advice.

Smileless2012

Biscuitmuncher has been working, she's been doing unpaid work in the home for years and although I can't remember the figures, I do remember sometime ago seeing a breakdown of the duties of a housewife, and how much it would cost a year if they were paid for. It was astronomical!!!

You say you and your husband are OK financially, so ask him why he now wants you to return to paid work outside of the home. Maybe you're not as well of financially as you think,but you wont know this if he doesn't tell you. Ask what if any of the domestic chores he'll be taking on or helping with, if you do.

There's no shame in never having worked since your children were born and having found your role in the home fulfilling.

Yes, that's an excellent point, Smileless

Paying a nanny, childminder, nursery when the children are young is not a small cost.
Getting several small children ready and yourself ready for work in the mornings can be a stressful experience too.

I was a SAHM for several years simply because DH worked away, nurseries were then non-existent and no family was nearby. I felt it was important for one parent to be there for them.

When they were all at school I did find being at home rather tedious so re-trained and rejoined the workforce.

Are you qualified in anything, have you kept up with technology?

Well, she's managed to get on to social media site, so that's a start, Sago!

I hope you find this helpful Biscuitmuncher
www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

I think I have invested more time than the OP has done on this thread! Am off to do some de cluttering in the shed after repotting some daffs into a window box.

Yes I would too Norah.

Response to Biscuitmuncher Smileless.

Smileless2012

Biscuitmuncher has been working, she's been doing unpaid work in the home for years and although I can't remember the figures, I do remember sometime ago seeing a breakdown of the duties of a housewife, and how much it would cost a year if they were paid for. It was astronomical!!!

You say you and your husband are OK financially, so ask him why he now wants you to return to paid work outside of the home. Maybe you're not as well of financially as you think,but you wont know this if he doesn't tell you. Ask what if any of the domestic chores he'll be taking on or helping with, if you do.

There's no shame in never having worked since your children were born and having found your role in the home fulfilling.

Whilst I obviously agree with this post, I also want to note: (unkindly, I suppose) IF my husband, who does want me at home, changed his mind radically -- I'd be asking lots of questions.

Smacks of "time to get ducks in a row" to me.

Yes it was GSM but you comment @ 14.04 wasn't.

My initial comment was related to her willingness to take advice.

That's irrelevant GSM this is not a covid, covid vax or mask wearing thread.

I remember all your anti-vax and anti-mask posts over the years. You were very dismissive of those of us for whom catching covid could be a death sentence.

No you've not Germanshepherdsmum you've gone through my posting history and dragging up anti vaxxing !

Biscuitmuncher has been working, she's been doing unpaid work in the home for years and although I can't remember the figures, I do remember sometime ago seeing a breakdown of the duties of a housewife, and how much it would cost a year if they were paid for. It was astronomical!!!

You say you and your husband are OK financially, so ask him why he now wants you to return to paid work outside of the home. Maybe you're not as well of financially as you think,but you wont know this if he doesn't tell you. Ask what if any of the domestic chores he'll be taking on or helping with, if you do.

There's no shame in never having worked since your children were born and having found your role in the home fulfilling.

Please speak to your husband and get a pension forecast.

Do you share the responsibility of the finances, do you know your financial position?

Perhaps he thinks it would be good for you to get out of the house and meet people, unfortunately your name conjures up an image of a rotund lady sitting in a chair watching TV and eating biscuits although I’m sure it’s tongue in cheek.

Are you qualified in anything, have you kept up with technology?

Do you have any hobbies or interests that could lead to paid work?

Kittye thank you.

HelterSkelter1

I think this is a bit of a wind up. And unless Biscuitmuncher spends all day munching biscuits and is eating the husband out of house and home and doesn't care, I don't think she will actually take any advice.

This ^

Biscuitmuncher

biglouis she's been vile to me all through this thread

Not vile.

You've been asked if you have a pension forecast, how many years you did work and pay NI, if CB was paid to you? Logical.

You've been asked to suss out what your husband is thinking.

I've never worked outside our home, married at 16, approaching 80, my husband is content - yours seems to want change, why? I'm quite far from anti-sahm, but imo it must be a mutual decision.

You started the thread, people have made logical comments. If you don't like the answers and won't take any advice, why are you on?

Germanshepherdsmum

When the children were younger he preferred you to be at home - but how old are they now? IMO you should be earning money and not expecting your husband to pay for everything.

Wow what a statement! She gave up the chance of a career to look after the children so he could get on with his. Responsibility for children doesn’t stop when a child reaches school age. The teenage years are the hardest in my experience.
I was a stay at home mum and moved round the country several times so my husband could follow his career, going back to work part time when my children were older.
I grew up with a working mum, my husband’s mum was stay at home and I was impressed how happy the family were.
His family are still very close now in their sixties and seventies
I know I was lucky financially to be able to stay at home and that it’s not as easy for parents nowadays.
My husband has never made me feel bad about not working and says what we have is ours not his.

I have been polite to you Biscuitmuncher, despite disapproving of your attitude - which is allowed.

Helterskelter 😂

biglouis she's been vile to me all through this thread

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