Do I deserve this treatment.

It's not my idea of afternoon tea and I can tell it isn't yours. But at least you were invited. If I was dissatisfied with my son's hospitality (though that would be impossible) I certainly wouldn't go bleating to his brother. Setting one against the other is just not on.

There are ways if saying things; even the harsh truth.

I don't think we can know if someone is doing anything under the guise of something else - only they can know that.

Maybe the Mrs Bucket comments were less than 'kind', but we do get a lot of threads on here that are, as Calli says, full of holes. Just because most posters on GN are older doesn't mean we are daft, or that nobody should speak up if they feel that they are being laughed at.

Why would a mother be disappointed by food provided by her daughter on Mother's day (or any day, come to that) particularly when it comes with an invitation to spend the afternoon together, and the mother was made to feel welcome? If someone posts on social media to say how upset she was, and ask whether it is unreasonable to complain to her other daughter about the afternoon laid on for her, and posters say that yes, she was being unreasonable and that she should feel happy to have been invited, they are just answering the question as it was posed.

When the OP vanishes, and the other daughter comes along telling a different story about what happened, is it unreasonable of posters to be suspicious?

As I said, I do realise that hearing over and over that you are being unreasonable can be unpleasant, but that happens on GN, as there is no expectation that people will RTFT before replying. When anyone suggests that such an expectation might be a good idea, they are told that they are being unpleasant. Also, the OP wasn't responding, so it's not as though she had come back to say that she had taken the comments on board, or offered any further information.

What about being 'kind' to the daughter who laid on soup and cake and an invitation to share her Sunday with her mother, only to find that not only was this being discussed on public social media, but her mum and sister had been talking about her behind her back and the comments from her mum had been such that the sister was 'disgusted'? Does she not deserve kindness? One sister apparently found the conversation, so why couldn't the other one do the same?

after giving the details to her other daughter who said she was ‘disgusted’, took to social media asking ‘Do I deserve to be treated like this?’.

Other daughter then posted and there was some confusion because this daughter had told her mother she was ill but in fact saw her in-laws on Mothering Sunday.

All rather strange.

I would have no problem in saying to the OP, face to face, that she is behaving like Hyacinth Bucket. She expected an afternoon tea with sandwiches and cream cakes as she used to lay on for her mother. She dressed up for the occasion and took gifts. She was served soup, a ‘small’ cake and coffee and, after giving the details to her other daughter who said she was ‘disgusted’, took to social media asking ‘Do I deserve to be treated like this?’. No gratitude for having been invited, simply complaints that her expectations were not met. I hope she has learned a lesson but it may be too late.

Delia22

hollysteers

Doodledog the posters are rude under the guise of being truthful, frank and to the point. Saying I think the OP was overreacting is hardly along the lines of some of the comments here.
Would we speak so face to face with people?

hollysteers; I,m sure the unkind words which some posters have used would DEFINITELY NOT be used in a face to face conversation! There's a huge difference between being truthful and being downright nasty,which some responses could be described as!!

It depends.

Kind posters can soon tell if a story is like a colander.

hollysteers

Doodledog the posters are rude under the guise of being truthful, frank and to the point. Saying I think the OP was overreacting is hardly along the lines of some of the comments here.
Would we speak so face to face with people?

hollysteers; I,m sure the unkind words which some posters have used would DEFINITELY NOT be used in a face to face conversation! There's a huge difference between being truthful and being downright nasty,which some responses could be described as!!

I have read your thread and cant see a problem whatsoever with the whole thing. You have obviously expected far more food than you received but i look on it like this - be thankful you were invited in the first place, its far more than soup and cake.... its the importance of spending time together, you're her mum and she wanted to 'treat' you on Mothers Day, which she did. If there was a range of sandwiches, pork pie and cream scones displayed on the table or a roast dinner, would that complete the day?

I say all that in a nice manner, personally I can't see a problem. 😃

What your friend did for her mum was a lovely gesture and obviously appreciated, I think the OP should have shown some appreciation, and not complained on a public forum, and gone moaning to the other daughter.

Primrose, then I stand corrected, I was talking about your friends daughter, but obviously they have a lovely relationship.

I should just say my daughter and her partner took me out for lunch last Sunday with his mother and it was lovely. Also had a box of chocolates and a beautiful card from them.

My son is never big on any kind of celebration but I got chocolates and a lovely card with kisses inside.

Sara1954

It sounds lovely Primrose, but it could be done any day of the year, why save it up for one Sunday in March.

I said “especially” on Mothering Sunday. My Mum was treated like The Queen all year round. 🤣🤣

If you meant my friend’s daughter, I know her very well and she would do anything for her Mum. Books little breaks away together, buys small gifts for her when she is shopping, cooks meals for her Dad if my friend is away on holiday without him (he is a home bird).

It sounds lovely Primrose, but it could be done any day of the year, why save it up for one Sunday in March.

Calling someone Mrs. Bouquet has little to do with brutal truths .

Families and offspring are all very different. I had lunch with a friend yesterday and she was saying she had been out for afternoon tea with another friend in the run up to Mothering Sunday. They had a very basic AT which cost £23 each in a posh tearoom.

One of her daughter’s then invited her for AT at her house on Sunday and she had really pushed the boat out with pretty tableware, 4 different types of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, gorgeous little bite sized cakes, scones with cream and jam and Prosecco. That’s what I call an AT!!😉

I always made a fuss of my Mum especially on Mothering Sunday and she always said “that’s far too much” or “you’ve gone to so much trouble” but I knew she loved it really. She was worth it though!!

Bags 💖💐. I understand the value of honesty or ‘brutal truth’. My husband’s diagnosis was brutal and I found the truth more palatable than some comments seeking to pretend

Baggs, that’s so sad, but good for her that she could talk frankly to you.

As an illustration of that, my DD who died recently wanted to be able to tell some of her friends what she called "the brutal truth" about her terminal brain tumour diagnosis but she found she had very few friends to whom she could speak so frankly and honestly. She (and I) thought this was a shame.

Norah, exactly that.

posters are rude under the guise of being truthful, frank and to the point

This is a subjective statement of the kind that is often made when someone doesn't actually want to hear the truth. Truth can often seem "brutal" even when it isn't.

I'm absolutely gobsmacked anyone cares what happens on a "made up card day" surely sounds as if it was good enough to me.

I am just so surprised at what some of you are expecting from your children.
It’s just a commercial opportunity for the retailers, not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, but the mother/ child relationship isn’t about how you can be spoilt one day a year, it’s about mutual care and friendship everyday, no one needs afternoon tea or anything else if their relationship is strong.

I don't think people were mocking or overcritical, just pointing out that yes, the OP was being unreasonable, which is what she asked. How is that reminiscent of children in a playground? That is an unpleasant thing to say.

You don’t? How would you describe this little exchange? You don’t see it as in any way mocking, reminiscent of the playground, unpleasant?

11/03/2024 16:25
Germanshepherdsmum
The OP reminded me of Hyacinth Bucket - I can see her now …

11/03/2024 16:39
Cossy
Germanshepherdsmum
The OP reminded me of Hyacinth Bucket - I can see her now …
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Mrs Bouquet please!

How do you think the OP (or any poster, particularly one new to the site) would feel after reading that? Do you think the comments were meant to be helpful?

It’s not about deserving or not deserving,
You were invited.
Why spoil this, ok it was not quite what you expected , but you got to see your family.
I can understand that you would or did hope for more. Please don’t turn a positive into a negative, many folks don’t get include or invited at all.💐

Doodledog the posters are rude under the guise of being truthful, frank and to the point. Saying I think the OP was overreacting is hardly along the lines of some of the comments here.
Would we speak so face to face with people?