Do I deserve this treatment.

So what's the difference between your saying that the response was an overreaction and the 'bullying' responses you mention? Are you 'taking a potshot' at posters who answered the OP's question?

Whilst regarding the OPs’ response to a bowl of soup and piece of cake as an overreaction, I can’t help noticing the same Gransnetters who are ready to bully, yes bully, any poster they can take a pot shot at. It’s very disagreeable and likely to put people off posting.

They often don’t know the whole story, but seem to lie in wait to post first and think later.

I don't think people were mocking or overcritical, just pointing out that yes, the OP was being unreasonable, which is what she asked. How is that reminiscent of children in a playground? That is an unpleasant thing to say.

There is no ganging up either. I know it can feel uncomfortable when lots of people post to say the same thing over and over, but that is the culture on GN, and to be fair, the OP hasn't engaged with the thread, so it's tempting to think that either she only wanted to be told she was being reasonable, or that this is one of those strange threads which show mothers and MILs in a bad light compared to their long-suffering daughters and DILs, who are only trying to be kind.

At the risk of 'ganging up', I agree with Norah, Iam64, Aveline, GSM, Urms and Baggs.

Never a good idea to go to someone else's house with "expectations". Soup and a piece of cake sound fine to me.

And, more to the point, they invited you to spend time with them on Mothers' Day.

Sara1954

I should make the most of it if I were you, if your other daughter starts causing trouble, I doubt you’ll be invited again for any occasion.

Definitely this.

Ganging up involves gangs. Individual posters disagreeing with an OP isn’t ganging up

I don’t think the title of the thread was likely to elicit sympathy - Do I deserve this treatment .

We were not ganging up. The OP asked if she was being unreasonable and many of us thought she was.

maddyone

^What is afternoon tea?^

Afternoon tea transformed from the light, mid afternoon snack to the grand ceremony it is today, consisting of finger sandwiches, scones, cakes and pastries, accompanied by tea and often a glass of champagne.

That’s what Mr Google says anyway, and it’s certainly what I understand by afternoon tea, and in my case it’s always accompanied by a glass of champagne.

I actually think some posters have been very unkind to the OP.

Exactly! Also maybe the OP should be "defended"! A lot of posts are reminiscent of children in a playground 'ganging up'against someone unpopular. Maybe those who mocked may experience similar themselves.*What goes around,comes around*,is the quote that springs to mind!

MillieMay

I am the other daughter who asked my mum what she had to eat at my sister's home.

My mum has received some terrible comments because you do not know the full story. A long time ago, my sister and her husband got themselves into a pile of debt which nearly ended up in bankruptcy for them. My dad had died quite a few years ago and my mum used most of his golden handshake (and it was a golden handshake) to clear all their debts ensuring that I also was given the same amount of money. They always made us both the same. All my mum has now is her pension to live on. She never gets invited to their home, never gets taken out anywhere but is always there when they need a child minder.

They now live in a 5 bedroom detached property with two flash cars on the drive and if I had not been spending Mother's day with my husbands mum and dad then we would have taken mum out for afternoon tea, a proper afternoon tea. This is why she was upset. She did not tell me what they had given her to eat, I asked her what she had eaten and did she enjoy herself.

Now I have said my peave I am unregitering from this hateful site.

Oh, 2 different sisters -- where have I had such a read recently?

maddyone

^How many of us ate Simnel Cake yesterday?^

I make my Simnel Cake for Easter, but I’m well aware of the tradition of girls and boys in service getting a rare day off and going home to their Mother Church and to see their mother, taking with them the gift of a Simnel Cake to be eaten at Easter. That was Mothering Sunday, now usually called Mother’s Day. So the giving of gifts and the sharing of food seem to me to be the traditional way to celebrate on Mother’s Day.

Years ago I read an explanation in a cookery book that the cake got its name from two young people who were in service making a cake to take home for their mother on Mothering Sunday. They were called Nell and Simon; one wanted to bake it, the other boil it, so they did both and called it Simnel cake.

It's probably a myth!

What is afternoon tea?

Afternoon tea transformed from the light, mid afternoon snack to the grand ceremony it is today, consisting of finger sandwiches, scones, cakes and pastries, accompanied by tea and often a glass of champagne.

That’s what Mr Google says anyway, and it’s certainly what I understand by afternoon tea, and in my case it’s always accompanied by a glass of champagne.

I actually think some posters have been very unkind to the OP.

JamesandJon33

And whose to say it was the daughter / sister posting anyway

I'm having a hard time believing someone's daughter took time out of their day to defend mum on Gransnet. This site can be a weird place. I've read through old threads out of sheer boredom. Let's just say it's not unprecedented for posters to create multiple accounts and "defend" another poster...

This sounds like a case of strong alliance between mother and one of her daughters, with the other daughter something of an outsider. Rings some bells…..🤔

ooooh maybe we will hear from the other daughter as well!!!!!!!

I doubt it was.

And whose to say it was the daughter / sister posting anyway

The other daughter was allegedly ill …

Delia22

“Take note all who chose to mocked and were over critical.Until you know all the facts perhaps in future reserve commenting.”

What “facts” Delia22 ?

None of the things the (alleged) other daughter posted were in the least bit relevant to the Mothering Sunday story!

All that statement from the other daughter stated was her sister was wealth off and they clearly don’t get on!

MillieMay

I am the other daughter who asked my mum what she had to eat at my sister's home.

My mum has received some terrible comments because you do not know the full story. A long time ago, my sister and her husband got themselves into a pile of debt which nearly ended up in bankruptcy for them. My dad had died quite a few years ago and my mum used most of his golden handshake (and it was a golden handshake) to clear all their debts ensuring that I also was given the same amount of money. They always made us both the same. All my mum has now is her pension to live on. She never gets invited to their home, never gets taken out anywhere but is always there when they need a child minder.

They now live in a 5 bedroom detached property with two flash cars on the drive and if I had not been spending Mother's day with my husbands mum and dad then we would have taken mum out for afternoon tea, a proper afternoon tea. This is why she was upset. She did not tell me what they had given her to eat, I asked her what she had eaten and did she enjoy herself.

Now I have said my peave I am unregitering from this hateful site.

Take note all who chose to mocked and were over critical.Until you know all the facts perhaps in future reserve commenting.

Some of the comments in response to the OP are quite unkind and for her, upsetting I imagine! If I had been invited to "afternoon tea" I definitely would have expected a sandwich at the very least! Also tea and cake,which were included. Any "afternoon tea" I have ever had didn't include soup.Perhaps the text invite should have stated, "come for a cup of tea and cake" the OP would have been thrilled at being served soup as well! I do agree there was no need for the OP to share her disappointment with her other daughter.

Sounds like an ideal day growstuff. Apart from you being unwell of course.

I wasn't very well on Mother's Day. My son and my partner cooked me sausages and poached eggs and made endless cups of tea. Then they sat on the bed and helped me construct my Lego daffodils. After that, they did the ironing and cleaned the kitchen floor. I wasn't expecting anything, so it was bliss.

Oh, I also call or text all the moms in my life to wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.

As someone outside the UK, I have zero idea what import the words ‘afternoon tea’ convey.

That said.. this was the daughter’s Mothering Sunday too. I don’t understand why she would be expected to put together some grand moment. Personally, I don’t do anything on Mother’s Day. I sleep as long as I like, I chill on the couch, cuddle with Minions and watch a movie, read a book, surf online… no cooking, cleaning or hosting. It’s frankly glorious.

So I think a bowl of soup and cake is perfectly lovely. It’s definitely more effort than I make 🤣