Do I deserve this treatment.

It’s rather surprising that a man who merited a golden handshake hasn’t left a pension or savings - ‘All my mum has now is her pension to live on’. Sorry, I don’t buy that.

What mean posts to Jolly Sailor, I looked and thought yes it’s the same few bitter people who seem to enjoy putting a poster down when they feel down about something. I was just writing to say that when I saw Milliemays input. Don’t de register Millie just take no notice of those that are not worth listening to, So glad she’s got you, the other sister was very mean spirited and no doubt her children will learn from her.
I never heard from my d yesterday, it is hurtful, thankfully I have a lovely son and grand children.

I feel sorry for the OP and I consider that a bowl of soup followed by a cake and coffee was the very minimum that her daughter could have provided for Mother’s Day. It was mean and parsimonious but I suppose we have to accept that some children don’t consider their mum’s feelings and we are supposed to feel grateful for any invitation or kindness.

Of course, if I’d been invited for afternoon tea, I’d have hoped for a sandwich or two as well. I expect the mum has always done her best for her kids, special meals as well as general looking after etc. I realise I’m lucky as both my kids went to some trouble for me yesterday but it’s the same level of hospitality that we give them when we invite them to our house lots of times a year and none of us would expect anything different at the moment although we may have to do less as we get older.

I also feel sympathy for the other daughter trying to explain what happened and she just got attacked as well! What is the matter with you all? Can’t you be pleasant, welcoming, kind and understanding and not go on the attack immediately? I’ve learned to expect nasty and unnecessary barbs on what seemed to be the most innocuous post even though I am always shocked and surprised.

Well I suppose we are all going to have to agree to differ on this one.
I don’t think there was anything wrong at all, I really can’t believe what some you expect from your children.

Sara1954

Well I suppose we are all going to have to agree to differ on this one.
I don’t think there was anything wrong at all, I really can’t believe what some you expect from your children.

Me neither! She was invited, she was made welcome, she was fed and watered!

Ffs!

MillieMay

I am the other daughter who asked my mum what she had to eat at my sister's home.

My mum has received some terrible comments because you do not know the full story. A long time ago, my sister and her husband got themselves into a pile of debt which nearly ended up in bankruptcy for them. My dad had died quite a few years ago and my mum used most of his golden handshake (and it was a golden handshake) to clear all their debts ensuring that I also was given the same amount of money. They always made us both the same. All my mum has now is her pension to live on. She never gets invited to their home, never gets taken out anywhere but is always there when they need a child minder.

They now live in a 5 bedroom detached property with two flash cars on the drive and if I had not been spending Mother's day with my husbands mum and dad then we would have taken mum out for afternoon tea, a proper afternoon tea. This is why she was upset. She did not tell me what they had given her to eat, I asked her what she had eaten and did she enjoy herself.

Now I have said my peave I am unregitering from this hateful site.

We are not hateful.

The fact that your Mum chose to give both you and your sister an EQUAL share of your Dad’s golden handshake was both very generous and her choice.

Your sister and husband have clearly used this money wisely and done well “with flash cars on their driveway”, you sound like you and your sister don’t get on and I’m guessing again it’s your Mum’s choice to childmind. Do you have children? Does she not look after them?

The whole story sounds quite petty frankly.

Like GSM I’m curious as to why your Mum hasn’t got a share of any private pension your father had and also if he died before 2016 she might also have got a share of his state pension. Did she not go to work either?

Rather an odd post.

We are not bitter or hateful but straight talking, to the point and like the whole story.

Cossy

Sara1954

Well I suppose we are all going to have to agree to differ on this one.
I don’t think there was anything wrong at all, I really can’t believe what some you expect from your children.

Me neither! She was invited, she was made welcome, she was fed and watered!

Ffs!

Put simply - this!
I know we aren’t allowed to mention bridges but …..

RosiesMaw

Weirdly the “whole story” , like recollections, seems to vary.

Doesn't it just. Weirdly, indeed.

Allsorts

What mean posts to Jolly Sailor, I looked and thought yes it’s the same few bitter people who seem to enjoy putting a poster down when they feel down about something. I was just writing to say that when I saw Milliemays input. Don’t de register Millie just take no notice of those that are not worth listening to, So glad she’s got you, the other sister was very mean spirited and no doubt her children will learn from her.
I never heard from my d yesterday, it is hurtful, thankfully I have a lovely son and grand children.

Mean spirited to invite her Mum over, make her welcome and feed and water her?

Allsorts

What mean posts to Jolly Sailor, I looked and thought yes it’s the same few bitter people who seem to enjoy putting a poster down when they feel down about something. I was just writing to say that when I saw Milliemays input. Don’t de register Millie just take no notice of those that are not worth listening to, So glad she’s got you, the other sister was very mean spirited and no doubt her children will learn from her.
I never heard from my d yesterday, it is hurtful, thankfully I have a lovely son and grand children.

Read the OP then read the daughter's post.

They both tell different tales.

I feel even more sorry for not so JollySailor now; one daughter only gave her soup and a little cake and the other daughter, who sympathised, told her a whopper about being ill but actually took her in-laws out to tea.

Thank you Callistemon, I've learned something new. Every day is a school day on GN!
Were the marzipan decorations representing the apostles a later addition?

Callistemon - 👍🏻

I don't know.

It could be one of those stories but I remember reading about it in a cookery book too, years ago and I've always thought that was true.
There are various stories about why it is called a Simnel cake too.

Chocolatelovinggran

Thank you Callistemon, I've learned something new. Every day is a school day on GN!
Were the marzipan decorations representing the apostles a later addition?

Here's another source:

Laetare Sunday, fourth Sunday in Lent in the Western Christian Church, so called from the first word (“Rejoice”) of the introit of the liturgy. It is also known as mid-Lent Sunday, for it occurs just over halfway through Lent, and as Refreshment Sunday because it may be observed with some relaxation of Lenten strictness. In medieval England simnel cakes (special rich fruitcakes) were consumed on this day. In the Anglican churches it is sometimes called Mothering Sunday, with reference to a verse in Galatians (4:27).
www.britannica.com/topic/Laetare-Sunday

It is an old custom in Shropshire and Herefordshire, and especially at Shrewsbury, to make during Lent and Easter, and also at Christmas, a sort of rich and expensive cakes, which are called Simnel Cakes.
Probably later on it was made for both occasions, perhaps the Apostles (minus Judas) were added more recently.

#windup

And somebody is using my name 🤔

Callistemon I never knew that about Simnel cakes.

I made one last year and it was so delicious. I will make another for Easter and never mind if it's not the correct day.
Thanks.

You were lucky to get an invitation! I was always told don’t expect too much then you won’t be disappointed. Quite frankly I can’t see anything wrong with soup and a cake - more than many folk were given. Why be so sensitive????

Grammaretto

Callistemon I never knew that about Simnel cakes.

I made one last year and it was so delicious. I will make another for Easter and never mind if it's not the correct day.
Thanks.

If I make one (bearing in mind no-one else likes marzipan 😁) it will be at Easter.
Perhaps I could make a fruit cake and a mini-Simnel cake just for me. A no-calorie one!

Soup and cake sounds fine to me, what a big fuss about nothing
Ahh well ‘hateful grans’ I ll bid you goodnight

Mother's day is the new Christmas

How many of us ate Simnel Cake yesterday?

I make my Simnel Cake for Easter, but I’m well aware of the tradition of girls and boys in service getting a rare day off and going home to their Mother Church and to see their mother, taking with them the gift of a Simnel Cake to be eaten at Easter. That was Mothering Sunday, now usually called Mother’s Day. So the giving of gifts and the sharing of food seem to me to be the traditional way to celebrate on Mother’s Day.

Not quite Hithere but I prefer Easter to Christmas. Fewer expectations and it's Spring!

Callistemon21

Grammaretto

Callistemon I never knew that about Simnel cakes.

I made one last year and it was so delicious. I will make another for Easter and never mind if it's not the correct day.
Thanks.

If I make one (bearing in mind no-one else likes marzipan 😁) it will be at Easter.
Perhaps I could make a fruit cake and a mini-Simnel cake just for me. A no-calorie one!

If you work out how to make a low carbohydrate one, please let me know. I love marzipan and fruit cake, but I'm afraid my metabolism thinks otherwise.

As someone outside the UK, I have zero idea what import the words ‘afternoon tea’ convey.

That said.. this was the daughter’s Mothering Sunday too. I don’t understand why she would be expected to put together some grand moment. Personally, I don’t do anything on Mother’s Day. I sleep as long as I like, I chill on the couch, cuddle with Minions and watch a movie, read a book, surf online… no cooking, cleaning or hosting. It’s frankly glorious.

So I think a bowl of soup and cake is perfectly lovely. It’s definitely more effort than I make 🤣

Oh, I also call or text all the moms in my life to wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.