Do I deserve this treatment.

Times change Jollysailor . Go with the flow I am grateful for anything these days.

I think Mothers Day is becoming overhyped it’s just another day and relationships with children are what happens everyday. When my children were young I was more than happy with a homemade card and cold tea and burnt toast for breakfast.
Now as Mum to over busy hardworking adults, my role is to compromise, nurture a good relationship and be available for chats, help and support.
Yesterday, I hosted lunch as daughter is 8 months pregnant and I wouldn’t expect her to cook etc, my son came with Prosecco and card but bless him he wouldn’t dream of hosting a lunch.
Neither son or daughter would have left me on my own so grateful for the company. But my best present yesterday was my son and son in law did all the washing up.

loopyloo

Mothers day has been really over done. For commercial reasons.
And I feel very sorry for the people who are unable to be mothers or have lost their mothers.
Think we should have a special person day instead, or as well as, and make a fuss of them.
Personally, soup and cake would be plenty for me and being asked to see them a treat.

Whilst I do get what you’re saying Mothering Sunday is a long held tradition and existed long before Father’s Day etc., Mum’s (mostly) are such special people (yes, dads are too), I would like to preserve this tradition!

In all honestly? I think you’re being just a bit daft, so long as you enjoyed yourself never mind what was served!

Incidentally, never a good idea to speak negatively about one child to another sibling, it always leads to trouble!

I think you should be grateful you were invited to their home, do not make an issue of the food you were served.
I would have been more than happy with that, it is all about being with the family.

I didn’t see any of my children yesterday, one out of the country, one other end of the country, and the other in bed with chest infection, it didn’t matter at all to me, had flowers and phone calls, but then I’m very fortunate with my family, I know I am truly loved by them all, they show it all year not just on special occasions. Maybe JollySailor isn’t as fortunate, and was hoping for a much grander gesture, be thankful JollySailor for what you have!

One daughter came around with her children, I was clearing out, so we all carried on with that, which gave us a good laugh.
We had a cup of tea, and some rather dubious looking cup cakes her five year old made, lovely, what more could you want?

Mothers day has been really over done. For commercial reasons.
And I feel very sorry for the people who are unable to be mothers or have lost their mothers.
Think we should have a special person day instead, or as well as, and make a fuss of them.
Personally, soup and cake would be plenty for me and being asked to see them a treat.

It’s the thought that counts every thing else is irrelevant

Your ‘disgusted’ other daughter will doubtless spill the beans. I think you’ll be making your own solitary afternoon tea next Mothering Sunday - but at least you can have crustless sandwiches and cream cakes of your own choosing, and tea served in a bone china cup. You might miss the company though.

You really don’t sound like your namesake sorry but there are plenty of mums and grans who don’t get invites.

I offered DD1 and GCs a plate of biscuits and a soft drink! She is a mother to adults children herself so I didn't want to monopolise her day. DD2 sent a card and we exchanged text messages, neither of us felt the need for a visit. Mothering Sunday is just another day as far as I am concerned. I know that I am appreciated any day of the year.

I had a very basic bowl of pasta with my daughter, they are struggling financially and though I would happily have provided a meal she wanted to do it for me. I was just happy to be loved and remembered

I had a lovely day at DDs. It was lunch. However, I didn't preset my expectations for what exactly such a meal would be like so I wasn't disappointed. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Your disappointment was due to inwardly setting the rules for what this invitation should be like so you were bound to be disappointed. By telling your other daughter about it I suspect that there's a good chance you won't be asked again.

I don’t see the problem.
You were invited, fed and had their company.
I joined my 3 DDs and their children at youngest daughter’s home. We all took something towards a buffet lunch How would you feel about that ? . I was given cards and a bunch of flowers. We played some board games and chatted.

Lovely.

Well it wasn’t “afternoon tea” by any stretch, Jollysailor - and I think most of us would have expected more from the wording of the invitation - but you said you were made welcome, and that’s what matters. The thought was obviously there. It was nice of you to turn up with gifts yourself, btw, and I’m sure these were appreciated.

If you’re new to GN, welcome. It should be a safe space to discuss things, and I hope you aren’t put off by the meaner comments on here. You didn’t show your disappointment at the time, thanked them for having you, and only told your other daughter about the day when asked. I’m pretty sure you will be asked again.

We're you specifically invited for Afternoon Tea?
Or were you invited for Tea in the afternoon?

Tea is not at all the same as "Afternoon Tea"
She made time for you in her mother's day to join them at Tea time.

I do think it was a mistake to share your disappointment with your other daughter - and feel alarmed that she was disgusted! What is that all about!!?

I should make the most of it if I were you, if your other daughter starts causing trouble, I doubt you’ll be invited again for any occasion.

Whatever gesture children offer on MD would be appreciated by me, better that they mark it in some way not at all mothers get any recognition. Maybe the afternoon tea wasn't in the conventional sense, but they offered their hospitality to mark the day, my first thoughts would be criticisms could hurt their feelings, and in doing so you may sew some resentment, your other daughter may have done things differently but siblings are rarely a mirror image of each other. I really wouldn't say anything and ask your other daughter not to, don't risk damaging the relationship.

When I saw the heading, I thought you had been badly treated.
You were not! Be grateful you were invited to visit, there are so many on GN, who are estranged from their children and would gave been so grateful for such an invitation.

Your heading
‘Do I deserve this treatment’
My answer
No you don’t deserve an invite at all your post shows ingratitude and total over expectation be glad you were invited at all
Unbelievable

I would not be happy to have a bowl of soup with a cup of tea and a small cake

Makes Mother’s Day sound as though it’s become duty or competition. Company and a bunch of flowers would be enough for many.

The reference to "Afternoon Tea" created different expectations! But the important things like being remembered; cared about; invited; made a fuss of; spending time with them ...all happened! The food provided wasn't an insult or a lack of caring, just different to what "Afternoon Tea" means to you. Tgere is nothing to feel upset about and plenty to be grateful for and to enjoy.

And I hope your other daughter doesn't say anything. If she does then sadly you will have to take some responsibility for creating a problem that was never really there.

if I were invited for afternoon tea I would have expected a cup of tea and a piece of cake, which is what you received, plus two hours of company. You were very foolish to discuss it with your other daughter and bad feelings will no doubt ensue. Is this what you wanted?