Being moved along by someone who "wants your place".

Not the gym but in an internet cafe in Kathmandu years ago and well before smart phones and universal internet access. Cybercafes were a bit of a novelty and probably quite expensive for the locals. There were about 10 machines all occupied and I was the only woman there. Most others being used by male backpacker types. This is relevant.

A Nepali man comes to my side and says "I need to use this machine". I tell him "Ive paid for my time and have 30 minutes left. Use one of the other computers." "But they are all full". He stands beside me and I tell him to move out of my personal space where he continues to stand. I stand up and face him and I am quite a big lady and at 5 ft 8 ins and taller than most Nepalis, even men. I tell him "Go away or I will call the manager" in a deliberately loud and commanding voice pitched so that all can hear.

Next machine has two male backpacker types. One turns in his seat to look round and the other half rises. Not intervening but using quite menacing body language. The Nepali starts to back away. He scoots over to the manager and there is a conversation. Manager shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. Nepali man slinks out followed by backpacker calling after him in a loud voice that "Good for you. He tried that yesterday and never pays." I tell them that I am not a charity and I dont like scroungers.

Nepali man hangs about outside and I deliberately book another half hour on the computer. Backpackers leave and say something to the Nepali who quickly leaves as well. The cyber cafe is on a busy junction that I have to pass several times to get to where Im going. Nepali man is hanging around outside the next day but looks away real sheepish when he sees me.

People have actually told me I should have been "kind" and allowed him to steal my time because I was a rich tourist compared with him.

Yeah, right. So why didnt he ask one of the men? He learned a valuable lesson that just because he picks on a woman she is not going to cave in. Nepali people are usually quite polite and non confrontational.

I recently finished a circuit training course for health at our local sports centre. Some weeks the course was better attended than others people generally were polite to wait their turn. I would not be bullied into getting off an exercise machine by anyone I would also tell them to jog on..
Some people are just down right selfish and think they have the right to push others around. I have experienced this especially abroad I won’t say where because I would be stereotyping. Let’s just say it wasn’t about sun beds as I don’t sunbathe it was about seats at a beer festival.

This happened at a theatre. My daughter had booked us Centre seats and we were comfortable when a group came to take their seats. We were in the middle of them. They kept looking at us and making a point of talking over us. It was obvious they thought we should give up our seats so they could all be together. Hard luck thought I my daughter wanted us to sit in the centre and not on the end.

biglouis

Not the gym but in an internet cafe in Kathmandu years ago and well before smart phones and universal internet access. Cybercafes were a bit of a novelty and probably quite expensive for the locals. There were about 10 machines all occupied and I was the only woman there. Most others being used by male backpacker types. This is relevant.

A Nepali man comes to my side and says "I need to use this machine". I tell him "Ive paid for my time and have 30 minutes left. Use one of the other computers." "But they are all full". He stands beside me and I tell him to move out of my personal space where he continues to stand. I stand up and face him and I am quite a big lady and at 5 ft 8 ins and taller than most Nepalis, even men. I tell him "Go away or I will call the manager" in a deliberately loud and commanding voice pitched so that all can hear.

Next machine has two male backpacker types. One turns in his seat to look round and the other half rises. Not intervening but using quite menacing body language. The Nepali starts to back away. He scoots over to the manager and there is a conversation. Manager shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. Nepali man slinks out followed by backpacker calling after him in a loud voice that "Good for you. He tried that yesterday and never pays." I tell them that I am not a charity and I dont like scroungers.

Nepali man hangs about outside and I deliberately book another half hour on the computer. Backpackers leave and say something to the Nepali who quickly leaves as well. The cyber cafe is on a busy junction that I have to pass several times to get to where Im going. Nepali man is hanging around outside the next day but looks away real sheepish when he sees me.

People have actually told me I should have been "kind" and allowed him to steal my time because I was a rich tourist compared with him.

Yeah, right. So why didnt he ask one of the men? He learned a valuable lesson that just because he picks on a woman she is not going to cave in. Nepali people are usually quite polite and non confrontational.

I imagined you to be a tiny little pocket rocket! 🙂

I go to a local health club to swim, I go before work. My times for swimming are restricted by the Aquarobics class.
They come into the pool up to 20 minutes before their class and “ mill about” that’s fine as there is a roped off lane for lane swimming but one member sees it as her job to take the rope down so swimming is impossible!
This is bad enough but I leave my towel and soap on a dedicated bench near the showers. My glasses are with them. I can’t lock and unlock my locker without my glasses is they have to be outside the locker.
When I’m harried out the pool I’ve often found my stuff moved but last week my glasses were gone! Not stolen but tossed aside and I couldn’t find them! Or get dressed!
I’d to go to the front desk in a towel to get some help.
I got dressed, the girl couldn’t find my glasses. So I was stuck. Luckily I wasn’t going to work and I don’t drive so I got home, in tears.
My glasses turned up, presumably on the floor somewhere.
What is it with women that if they are in a group they loose all perspective. It’s like primary school “ that bits reserved for my friend”

I imagined you to be a tiny little pocket rocket

No, Im 5 ft 8 ins and Ive always found my height to be an advantage. Generally speaking I avoid others in public and like to pass time by myself with my own thoughts. However if someone aggresses against me I will go nuclear and lash back pretty hard. I used to enjoy the feeling of power and the surprised expression on their dumb faces. Now I cant be bothered with these people. I dont open the door or waste my energy on them.

I never really understand why some people use the swimming pool ostensibly to talk to friends and don't appear to do anything other than stand around at one end of the pool. At our club we do have a coffee lounge for all of that, most places do. Strangely, when I'm in the pool it's to swim, I can't swim and talk, but some people swim two abreast, even in threes chatting away and with lane swimming it's not easy to get round them. Worse still are those who are at the end of the pool chatting sometimes don't move when those who are lane swimming want to do a turn and have to go around them, annoying!

Mogsmaw you have my sympathies, I think moving another member's personal stuff is not on. Although, I do remember in one club I was a member of years ago there were three or four cubicles curtained off with a notice "don't leave personal effects in the cubicle" but some selfish person did that, maybe they just couldn't read but I think not! their way of indicating I've reserved this for my return. I did get a member of staff to move the stuff, that was the only available cubicle and I wanted to use it. The woman returned, having done whatever she'd come to do and hurrumphed away because her clothes and whatever had been moved and worse still I'd taken over "HER" cubicle.

We went to Edinburgh for the day a week or so ago for my birthday treat. We ate lunch in a vegan cafe in the crypt of one of the churches. The friendly business owner showed us to a seat fairly near a window and we ordered our food. Two posh ladies came in and had apparently previously requested our table . The owner came over and asked us to move which we did - no problem- to a nearby table with stools rather than chairs. The two ladies came and sat down about four feet away from us and ignored us. No thanks for moving. We thought they were behaving in a very entitled way. Afterwards I wish I had said something!

Public exercise facilities can be a tricky space to negotiate.

I have an aversion to exercisers who are joined at the hip.

It happens at the health club swimming pool where the slow breast-stroke turtles (mustn’t get my hair wet) operate in widely-spaced pairs yakking as they swim.

The pool does has two narrow lanes, one fast, one slow for people who want to swim lengths but there’s barely room to pass. Speed is a relative thing but I’ve long grown tired of people who use those lanes to swim slow, clumsy breast stroke, scratching and kicking as they go and impossible to pass. I swim a neat, fast front-crawl so I avoid the lanes. I find a line in the open part of the pool and swim through any chattering turtles who get in my way.

I’d go to the public pool which is larger and cheaper but the changing rooms and showers are grotty.

I find it best to go to the club late in the evening when the more serious working-age swimmers are around, when there are no aqua-aerobic classes causing tsunamis with, as you say, Mogsmaw, the obligatory milling around long before the class begins.

Now I have a shiny new hip I can walk really quickly,so why when somebody wants to get past,instead of walking on my heels, and breathing so close to my neck I can feel them,if I stopped suddenly they would ram up my jacksie, why dont they just say excuse me,its like tailgating on foot.

RosiesMaw

^I was a bit taken aback but it was so that a parent and her child could sit nearer to the rest of their family who were in the window seats^
Never seen the point of window seats on a plane!
When you’ve seen one cloud, you’ve seen them all surely?

Also those of us with good bladder control can sit quietly for three hours without unbuckling to facilitate the comings and goings of those passengers who need the loo!

but the Germans approach fully two-abreast and don’t give way

This happens a lot on narrow Spanish pavements. If I see an approaching couple, I now just stop and stand still. They then have to split and walk past me in single file. It’s effective and non confrontational. Over the years, silly me, I used to step off the pavement into the road so as not to hinder their progress!

The last time myself and daughter went to the spa, we had gone to chill on the warmed tiled loungers round the large Jacuzzi.

But two of them had towels over (bit like claiming the sun loungers) I picked them up and popped them to the side, daughter and I then got comfy on the loungers, the said Ladies come back from their swim looked at us muttered something and walked off.

There are notices saying " Please do no claim loungers by putting your towel on" but no one seems to take notice

Also when in the Serenity Pool which is a darkened room with little twinkling lights and one of those long artificial fires at one end, I asked some girls could they be quiet as they were chattering quite loudly. The clue is in the name of the room "Serenity"

TerriBull I’m not reserving a place on a bench, it’s a long bench with hooks above where the showers are. Everyone leaves their stuff there as you not to go to the lockers dripping wet and you can’t take everything poolside. When I go into the pool there are a few “piles” on the bench and I put my stuff in the corner. Once the Aquarobic gang arrives my stuff is moved although there is still plenty of room. Someone just seems to see me in their space.
TinSoldier, sounds bliss but evenings are not an option, the club is through an industrial estate, ok to walk through in daylight. Not somewhere I want to go when it’s supposed to be empty!

Tin Soldier

"It happens at the health club swimming pool where the slow breast-stroke turtles (mustn’t get my hair wet) operate in widely-spaced pairs yakking as they swim."

HolyHeaven I thought my previous local swimming pool had the only pair of those!
I'd previously never seen anything like it.
These ladies must have been in their fifties and swam all their lengths side by side, very slowly, chatting so you struggle to overtake, you can't swim between them etc.
It seems like the behaviour of kids or teenagers to me. Also if I wanted a chat I'd do it in peace over a coffee.
Takes all sorts as they say.

I arrived at my booked aisle seat with table for a long train journey. Two women and several kids were spread out all over the table with drinks, snacks etc. I said to the woman in my seat - 'I've booked this seat'. She said 'You can have my seat' and indicated the seat behind with no table and not facing the direction of travel. I just said 'I want my booked seat'. She huffed and puffed and said something in a language I didn't understand to the other woman but got up from the seat and cleared the table. The others left the table too which was lucky as the other people who had booked the seats came along. If she hadn't I would've stood my ground. I book and pay in advance so expect to have my seat. That family 'seat hopped' the whole journey.

Sometimes people talk across you or hand things over your head, so you feel obliged to move. I never do. It also happens that they "keep places" in church or at meetings, so I sit anyway and tell them I will get up when the person comes...and of course, it's sometimes that they want an empty seat between them and anyone else, and the ghost never turns up.

The plane ticket request to move is especially annoying.I encountered a group travelling on a cross Atlantic flight whose group leader approached many passengers so that he could put his (religious) group together.They must have been on a reduced rate.I had some snotty comments when I politely refused to move.I had booked my seat carefully as I had had knee surgery recently.They then found they did not get the dietary requests they had made which were attached to their seat numbers and made a tremendous fuss.

Years ago we went to cyprus- i think son was about ten- but he has a slight disability so he doesnt cope well next to strangers on journeys- he had been given a seat behind but next to an elderly lady- i stayed with his much younger brother in row in front, but his elder sister 16 had also been put on aisle seat opposite him (no one said we could choose/pay to choose to be together at booking our package holiday?) So he decided he'd be ok.The elderly lady was a retired schoolteacher who managed to teach him how to tell the time on both analogue clocks and roman numerals by the time we got off- something he'd struggled with before as he grew up with digital time.We still joke about it when we go on a plane with him.😄

Mumofmadboys- on such occasions i usually say "a thank you wouldnt have gone amiss" as i leave.

Love a window seat on a plane. Seen some amazing sights - e.g dawn breaking, literally 'breaking'. And flying over the Dolomites was something I'll never forget. Felt I could reach out and touch the peaks ! I also love getting the feel of a new country as the plane gets in to land. Arriving in Chicago, New York - beautiful sights from a window seat.

Before the age of booking cinema seats I was first in the queue for a popular film I paid, entered the salle and chose the best seat for myself. By the time the film was about to start the room was nearly full, except for odd seats here and there, one being next to me and one further along the row. A couple of late arrivals wanted me to give up seat and take the one in another place so that they could sit together. Cheek.

Tanjamaltija- please bear in mind that the person who 'wants an empty seat between them & anyone else'- could just be someone who has a disability of some kind or be on Autism spectrum or have phobias about sitting next to strangers/others- so dont be too hard on them.

Booking cinema seats has become difficult as it always pops up saying you cant leave one between- yet even if you choose end of aisle seat & one or 2 next in you cant leave empty one at other end either!-what do they expect you to do then- pay for 4 if you only want 3??

I always stay in the seat I booked, wich always is next to my husband or each one side of the aisle so able to communicate during the flight. My husband is very tall and books adequate seats well in advance. You didn't book on time? Sorry hon, better next time.