Sentimental items- can you bring yourself to get rid of them?

Amalegra

I have reluctantly accepted that there are some things that have so much sentimental value to me that I can never let them go. One is a rather tatty green wooden handled bread knife which was my mother’s. I particularly remember her using it to cut up oranges for my sister and I. It lives in my kitchen drawer and I use it sometimes just to remember her hand being on it. There are a fair number of other things I can’t let go and I have dedicated storage for them as I don’t intend to try letting them go any more!

I can really relate to that! When clearing my mother’s house I kept a wooden spoon she’d had for ever - it was worn right down on one side.
I warned dh never to put it in the dishwasher, but of course the bugger forgot one day and did, and bits fell of it. I’ve still got it, though.

A few things have gone to charity shops .
The rest I have wrapped up carefully and put in clear plastic boxes .
Somewhere at the bottom of the pile is my late mother in law's collection of Lladro .
I hate it so I plan to get rid of it .
She gave me other things from which I'd never part .
Otherwise , I'm really sentimental over so many things and find it hard to part with them .

Of course I have some of these keepsakes as well! My "system" is to really start using them. I have two mini-ovendishes, given to me by my sister instead of flowers, you know, for the host. It was when she visited for the last time, she already was terminal and died less than two months later. It's been 8 years 1 month and 10 days. Now I started using those dishes, they are becoming part of my kitchen, my routine, my life. They are still very precious to me but my sister would laugh in my face if she knew I was treating them as if they were spun gold. I think when they brake I will be able to throw them out, but not too soon please 😊.

You have to be cruel and separate your emotional sentiments when getting rid of clutter.

My rule of thumb is - if you have not laid hands on it and used something in over two years (some say three, some say one) you should donate if it’s in good condition.

Personal items by your children, grandchildren are useless to others. You should part. (Don’t even give them the chance by asking if they want it!) Things like pictures, diplomas, etc you HAVE to keep. Art work? To the landfill.

Aldom

Put some grit in the bottom of the mug, top up with compost and add a small plant.

Great idea, I repurpose pretty mugs.

Whitewavemark2

I have a teacup and saucer from both my paternal great grandmothers - they will never be got rid of. I have jewellery from mum which will be passed down.

My beloved dog died on Monday, and apart from photos, I have kept his first toy which he played with for nearly 15 years. I will also keep a card sent to me by his vet showing a heart of paw prints - so appropriate and this will be framed.

So sad for you Whitewavemark2. It's so hard to lose a beloved family member. Animal family are so unjudgemental and live in the moment. They give so much love. Thinking of you. x

I sorted out my mother’s house when she died, not too bad as she had already done the first trawl through. But there were still some things like photos and some things of her mother’s which meant nothing to me. I did get rid of most of them when we moved as they would mean nothing to anyone else either.

When DH died I had loads of personal and jointly treasured items to sort out. It is very hard to decide to keep or not. Eventually I realised tgat we, as individuals keep nothing, we leave stuff that others will probably have no interest in. I do have a memory box from my late DD and I do treasyre that but what will happen when I'm gone. They are my memories, no-one else's. I offered my DSs the oppirtunity to choose items from their Dad. Surprisingly nonecwere if the valuable type, but handtools from his shed. We we think of as treasures aren't not akways thought of as the same by others, even family. I sold DHs valuable stuff, split funds between GC for their savings, gave stuff to a Mens Shed, some to charity abd a lot to the tip. I have one GD and all valuable jewelkery will be sold and again funds split between two GC. There is enough to do after a death, sorting out all the "treasures" is one task folk can do without.

Cover the chips with clear nail polish land use the mug to hold pencils and ballpoints. Never give anything that has been hand-made /personalised for you, to charity shops. I found something I made for my sister in law and I was upset, because it had taken me hours upon hours to create.

I have reluctantly accepted that there are some things that have so much sentimental value to me that I can never let them go. One is a rather tatty green wooden handled bread knife which was my mother’s. I particularly remember her using it to cut up oranges for my sister and I. It lives in my kitchen drawer and I use it sometimes just to remember her hand being on it. There are a fair number of other things I can’t let go and I have dedicated storage for them as I don’t intend to try letting them go any more!

This touched my heart..I'm sobbing too now x😭

I never found clearing my mum's place traumatic, though.
Sad, but it would have been sadder if I'd known she had ousted her things from her home of 60 years.

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I’m in the process of Swedish Death Cleaning - it sounds morbid but it’s not. The idea is that you declutter and organise your belongings to make it easier and less traumatic for your family when you’ve gone. I was tasked with clearing out my mum’s house. She was a hoarder so loads to do. It was very traumatic for many reasons. One thing that upset me was finding packing cases that had been moved from house to house containing all the gifts myself and my 4 siblings had ever given my parents UNUSED and still in their boxes. All the thought we’d put into those gifts wasted as they were just shut away. We knew they considered them ‘too special to use daily’ but didn’t realise they NEVER used them. It wasn’t because they were ugly, they were beautiful, practical, labour saving things that would have been so useful for them. If you have such things yourself, ask yourself if the gift giver meant for you to enjoy them now or to hang onto them for the rest of your life, never having had the pleasure of them. You never, ever know how much sentimental attachment things hold, so when it comes to clearing a house as I did, it’s adding more trauma wondering what to do with things. I am determined not to put my 3 daughters through the same trauma. You can get books on Amazon where you can list important information, passwords for digital access and to say whether or not items are of sentimental value. I’ll be making sure that my daughters are very aware that they are welcome to hold onto anything THEY like but other than that take everything to a charity shop or dispose of it if past it’s best. I’ll also make sure even that process is as simple as possible by always having everything organised. I could never be selfish enough to pass the problem on to my family, they deserve better!

I am sentimental about things, I still have a birthday card my mother sent me , I can't part with it ,also a mothers day card my daughter made for me at primary school ,she's 50 now.
I also have a book my aunt got as a prize for attendance at sunday school...dated 1921, so well over 100 years ago, although I don't feel sentimental about it...

Hi, still have my mother's wedding dress and headdress here as well as her engagement and wedding rings. She married in 1949. She'd kept them so I will. Doubt whether my son will, although as he has a 4 yr old daughter now I hope they're passed down to her one day..

I certainly have things that DD’s will have to get rid of.,
I still have, in its original box, the ‘lucky horseshoe’ thing* my mother carried at her wedding immediately before WW2 - my father was already in his naval uniform.
My mother died in 2015, aged 97.
*’silver’ horseshoe with ribbons and some exceedingly dead flowers!

Not to mention masses of postcards collected by a grandmother as a young girl, who remembered Queen Victoria dying, when she was six.
One or two were particularly interesting, esp. the one that read, ‘Did you see in the paper about Mrs Pankhurst calmly picking up the white mice someone dropped at their meeting, assuming they’d all be scared?’
(Or words to that effect.)

New nanny I read your text and thought how lovely that you put your mums last birthday card to you up every year. I have kept my parents last cards too I think I will do the same as you. My DM loved nice things and had a lot of Royal Doulton figurines but nobody seems to want them anymore. I’ve got letters sent to my DM from my DF during the war they make interesting reading. I will keep those.

I have all the pictures my DS drew& painted at school. Some that my DGC have drawn or painted. Things handed down from my DM. Cannot find a way to get rid of my music, though all on itunes. Cannot get rid of my books that I have enjoyed & will dip into again & again. My DM’s old photos of our childhood, just sentimentality with most of my clutter.

It really is very hard to dispose of items that meant a lot. I have just cleared my parents house. I have taken lots of items to charity shops. I’ve kept a few but I really had to be quite ruthless. I’m trying now to be more minimalist as it’s been a big job clearing a house and I wouldn’t want my family to have to go through what I have. Less dusting as well getting rid of clutter which is a good thing!!!!

I have two items I can't bear to get rid of - both associated with WW2. (1) a stuffed toy elephant that was given to me as a baby. It was made by a colleague of my father's in the RAF and is made out of an RAF blanket; (2) a toddler's shoe that belonged to DH. His father took it with him to India when he was sent there as a soldier in the war.

LOUISA1523

I have a vintage tea chest in my lounge with 'sentimental stuff '.....I look at it all a couple of times a year....bin a bit more of it that doesn't 'delight ' me any more ....add a couple of bits along the way.....what doesn't fit in there gets thrown..

This is a very pragmatic solution. It makes you be choosy over what you keep whilst enabling you to still look at and reflect upon items. The one thing I will never throw away is the last birthday card my Mum bought me. She's been dead over 10 years but every year I put it up on my birthday as she never forgot my birthday ever whilst she was alive. It's a pretty card and she wrote some lovely words to me in it too. I like to see her handwriting. I occasionally look at it in-between birthdays too if I'm having a really bad time. It brings me great comfort. When my DH was diagnosed with a brain tumour reading the card from my Mum telling me I was strong and could overcome any adversity really helped me.

Why don't you feel any attachment to the plate?? And why is it in a cupboard and not on a wall?

Aldom

Put some grit in the bottom of the mug, top up with compost and add a small plant.

I was going to suggest exactly the same thing but drill a couple of holes in the bottom of the mug. You could grow herbs in it then it would be useful too. I couldn't get rid of a plate from DGC and would probably hang in the spare bedroom on the wall.

Lesley60

My ac laugh at me as I’m overly sentimental the things I have in the attic is ridiculous from congratulation cards on their birth, brownie uniforms big padded cards from ex husband of thirty years
My daughters are 47 and 49 but I still have some of their baby clothes, first shoes etc and drawings and cards from nursery and that’s without all the memorabilia from seven grandchildren

How often do you look at it? ...if my stuff was in the loft...I would never look at it....or is it the fact that you just like to know its there?

As the daughter and granddaughter of people who kept things for sentimental reasons, I had so much sorting out to do when my mother and grandfather died. This cured me of any sentimentality. My flat contains only useful and essential things.