Are you too scared to post what you really think?

MissAdventure

Galaxy

Rocket ship, there is a section called getting started on GN, in that section is a list of the acronyms.
DH means dear husband, DS means dear son, etc.

Also, you don't have to use those abbreviations yourself.

You can call them what you like.

I like Urmstongran's himself - referring to her husband. It always tickles me.

It reminds me of Arhur Daley's, 'er indoors'.

It's a difficult one.

I've sometimes been hesitant to enlarge on certain topics under discussion for fear I might be regarded as being discriminatory when in fact what I want to do is explore deeper into it - the whys and wherefores.

I don't like to use the term political correctness because it is pejorative (and worn out through over-use), but there does seem to be (to me anyway) an established order - not quite Orwell's "Newspeak" - but definitely a 'language' which sort of condemns one not to dare too much to challenge it. And both the Left and the Right have their own versions of this narrative.

I wish I could give an example, but - if I did - I'd be doing the very thing I'm wary of.

I'm not sure that "everyone takes offence at the slightest thing" though. On the other hand, I do think that sometimes people take offence when none is intended.

But no, not scared but certainly cautious.

I’m not afraid to post what I think, even if some here feel they have some control over how others post. It’s the same characters too. Like vipers, jumping at those who dare to speak outside of the general consensus. I simply pity them that they are ignorant as to how the internet works.

Galaxy

Rocket ship, there is a section called getting started on GN, in that section is a list of the acronyms.
DH means dear husband, DS means dear son, etc.

Also, you don't have to use those abbreviations yourself.

You can call them what you like.

Doodledog I'm not scared of people disagreeing with me though. Why would I be? The worst that can happen is that they are nasty to me online. I'll live.

If an on-line disagreement is the worst of my day? Fantastic day!

I completely agree! I disagree with Doodledog often, only to learn so much, read the 'other side' expressed oh so eloquently!

Rocket ship, there is a section called getting started on GN, in that section is a list of the acronyms.
DH means dear husband, DS means dear son, etc.

CornflowerBlue

Yes, I agree if that is the sutuation, but I was talking about posts that are not AIBU and the op was purely asking advice on something like technology or scams or something. One particular thread I remember was very unkind and a couple of people actually said so. But the damage was done and the op was understandably upset. There's just no need for unkindness or belittling whatever the type of thread.

I remember that thread, CornflowerBlue, if I'm thinking of the one you mean. It was strange, as the OP wasn't someone who I can imagine had offended lots of people, and the scam she was talking about was something that could have happened to most of us if we'd been caught unawares. (Some of) the responses were horrible, though. It was quite unnecessary.

I rarely post but not out of any type of fear. Sometimes it's because what I wanted to say has already been said by others.... and sometime I don't know what words to use to express rolling my eyes~~~ LOLOLOL
Since I'm at it, as rather a newbie to this chat, I don't always know what the initials some use mean... like DH etc. etc.

I think there is a difference between being scared to cause offence and scared to be disagreed with.

There are threads where I wouldn't presume to comment as I have no experience or understanding of the content, and am aware that I might cause hurt if I blundered in, however helpful I thought I was being.

I'm not scared of people disagreeing with me though. Why would I be? The worst that can happen is that they are nasty to me online. I'll live.

Yes, I agree if that is the sutuation, but I was talking about posts that are not AIBU and the op was purely asking advice on something like technology or scams or something. One particular thread I remember was very unkind and a couple of people actually said so. But the damage was done and the op was understandably upset. There's just no need for unkindness or belittling whatever the type of thread.

Yes, frequently.

The difficulty we have is that at times people do post threads usually asking AIBU? and the answer is in fact 'yes'. Usually a grandmother estranging her son and DiL because they did not allow her to be present at the birth of a brandchild, or something similar.

People like this will follow with a post saying how nasty and rude and horrible we all are, simply because we answered the question she asked and it wasn't the answer she wanted.

I’m not afraid of anyone on here, I post how I feel but will say I don’t think I’m rude., have been brought up to say how I feel and not be afraid to speak out, I’m exactly the same in RL aas I am on social media. I think you can put your feelings across without being bolshy, I do find it sad that I’ve had a few private messages sent by people that don’t want to continue to post or have stopped posting as they have felt bullied by a few here, which is a real shame, sadly it’s the same in the outside world there will always be a few that feel that their opinion counts and no one else’s does. It’s a fact of life.

Not at all scared to say what I think but when I disagree with a post I try to say so as politely as possible just as in real life. What annoys me is the number of people who don't seem to read posts before voicing an opinion and getting the wrong end of the stick plus the people who post things as factual when they are in fact completely incorrect - again same as in 'real life'.

From what a poster said a while back - they appealed a deletion and the post was re-instated - I think GN moderators would give you a reason if asked?

I agree wholeheartedly that no-one should be scared to say what they think, and of course, a debate where people do not all agree is perfectly fine and healthy. It would be a boring world if we all had the same opinions. Some threads aren't even about opinions and still there are certain people who think it is acceptable to be rude or nasty and put someone down. Like I said previously, you don't know what other peoples lives have been like, what troubles they have had etc, and some people are more sensitive than others. I know someone who is quite sensitive and they were once told, after a cruel jibe, that they needed their sensitivity to be 'bashed out of them'! Again, we are all different and there is nothing wrong with someone being sensitive... or less so. And they have every right to be who they are. I rarely post, because I have read some of the cruel and unkind posts on here, on threads which were simply asking for advice. I am not generally scared of giving my opinion in a situation which encourages it, but I know that if I did, and someone was nasty about it, I would dwell on it and it would upset me. Should I feel like that? Of course not, but we can't help who we are, so self-preservation takes over, and I avoid certain threads and certain people! Acceptance of others, no matter what you think, is key and makes the world a better place.

Could be interesting*grandtanteJE65*. Certainly might be some very ‘different’ posts. One of my very first posts was pulled for saying what I thought and to this day I don’t quite understand why. I came away thinking the UK was so politically correct it wasn’t worth saying anything. What is politically correct there is not even an issue here but I have learnt that now.

You are correct, Whethertomorrow.

These days there are so many people who just seek to be offended.

No matter what you say, someone will want to cancel you.

That's a yes from me.

I never thought I would say this but sometimes, yes.
I volunteer for a well-known charity and tend to work with the same group of people. One of our number apparently said something that offended a group member, though they never told the person who made the remark at the time. It was instead ‘escalated up’, the person was admonished and we all received an email basically telling us not to speak about subjects which might be deemed controversial. Same thing happened after Brexit.
Some of my family - I have a very outspoken niece - and one or two of my friends are aware of some of my views which, truth be told, are really quite moderate, but generally I keep them to myself.

I am not afraid to post what I think, but I do try to remember that the written word can seem harshed than the spoken and take care not to give offence.

Obviously, not everyone will agree with us ever, whether on a forum like this one, or when we talk to someone in the shops or at a meeting. People are welcome to have a different opinion to mine, and generally speaking we can agree to disagree.

Some subjects lead more easily to contention than others, politics and bringing up children spring to mind.

I am sorry to hear that some of you are afraid to post what you think - are you also afraid to say what you think in public?

IMO no-one should be, or need to be, so try to get used to saying what you think and see if it doesn't become easier to do so.

Haha. Some of my thoughts are best left unwritten or unspoken. If only I could remember that sometimes !!!

I find myself shying away from various topics because my thoughts on them would not be popular, I think these days when everyone is quick to call you out for just about everything it is wise to keep a low profile on contentious subjects

Having been on another SM platform where the moderators jump on anything they personally disagree with I find GN in comparison has a relatively light touch in regard to moderation.

I didn't spot your post tho ginny.

The GN talk guidelines
www.gransnet.com/info/netiquette

Are fairly clear on a number of issues that we've alluded to above.

Whether the guidelines are "too PC?" - they do mention

"That said, we will remove posts we believe to be obscene, racist, homophobic, contain personal attacks or break the law once they are brought to our attention."
"We have an extremely low tolerance for words that are offensive to those with physical or mental disabilities."

Like the guidelines generally tho - 'moderation in all things"

I joined very recently having only had experience on a forum for my health problem that is consistently kind, supportive and informative. I was pretty shocked at the vicious unkindness that a few posters seem to like to share on here and mumsnet in particular. I am used to it now and they are definitely in a minority. It was a shock though and I wondered if it stemmed from mental health problems or just downright unpleasantness.