Wedding Anniversary

Some people are very romantic, others not. I am not into all the flowers and hearts stuff but we book a few nights away in a lovely hotel and enjoy the food, walks and entertainment and get a weekend away. All good stuff.

At one of the social groups I belong to we have a Queen Bee who presides verbally over everything. At our get together last week, one older member was congratulated for celebrating her diamond wedding anniversary. Straight away Queen Bee said: 'We are celebrating our golden wedding anniversary on ...(gave day and date) and are going on a ....(gave exotic land) cruise. '

Ellymae. As advised start a new thread. For lots of advice. And get a gardener, cleaner and window cleaner and give yourself a break. Hopefully the cost will be shared. Even if you just do it for 6 months. And I agree make life easy on the food front. I am saying this gently as I know some marriages are not easy. But you need to reset your retirement. Good luck.

When we got married in 1979, we inherited a second hand vacuum cleaner. Two months later, for my birthday, my darling husband presented me with a shiny brand new one. He was lucky I didn’t wrap it round his neck! 😂 We’re still together and he does share the housework, but he’s hopeless with presents. 😎

Just celebrated 40 year anniversary my husband bought me necklace bracelet and perfume. I actually bought myself flowers as I buy them every week anyway . Very happy that we are still together that’s what counts more than anything.

A friend is celebrating her 50th anniversary next month with a ‘bit of a do’ which she is organising - if left to her husband there’d be no celebration. . He once bought her a sweeping brush for her birthday because she’d said she needed one😂 A happier couple I’ve yet to meet!

I would feel a bit sad if we didn't celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was, after all, the start of our adventure full of ups and downs, happy times, sad times, sometimes fun and sometimes hard going.

Ellymae

Just an ask who does what regarding housework: cleaning/gardening/cooking /windows/bathroom/toilet/driveway/deciding g what to eat each night. I willing did the donkey's share when my husband worked (although I worked full time. Now we are retired I find he expects me to carry on Like this while he scrolls his.phone and sits while I struggle, he is 73 and I am 72 both retired, and sadly I am getting resentful, when I approach him about it he says oh don't start, here we go again. He told me this morning I want everything done there and then, to which I replied I asked you 6mo ths ago to help me clean the I side windows (there is a lot of glass in our conservatory and I have always cleaned it for the past 15years. I am done! Sorry for long post He does sort the cars takes to the auto car wash....If I died tomorrow he would get a cleaner in for sure!

Stop being a martyr and get a cleaner, a window cleaner and a gardener then. You seem to be doing an awful lot of household chores when there is (I assume) just the 2 of you at home. How dirty does the place get? Might your DH be frustrated with your rigorous routine? As for meal planning, you don't need a cooked dinner every night when you are no longer working. Serve soup and a crusty roll or salad in the summer. Better still go out for a pub lunch now and then.

I popped into our local m & s simple shop tonight and was given a big bouquet of flowers for free as they were out of date. I got my flowers 😂. I have a lovely husband who isn’t always thoughtful and romantic but always there for me and our daughters. I am blessed.

We have always exchanged cards on our 51 wedding anniversaries, and we always go out to eat, usually at our favourite local Italian restaurant. Occasionally we have nipped over to Paris, where we honeymooned. I have always bought a present, but no cut flowers for many years - too much trouble.

Ellymae

Just an ask who does what regarding housework: cleaning/gardening/cooking /windows/bathroom/toilet/driveway/deciding g what to eat each night. I willing did the donkey's share when my husband worked (although I worked full time. Now we are retired I find he expects me to carry on Like this while he scrolls his.phone and sits while I struggle, he is 73 and I am 72 both retired, and sadly I am getting resentful, when I approach him about it he says oh don't start, here we go again. He told me this morning I want everything done there and then, to which I replied I asked you 6mo ths ago to help me clean the I side windows (there is a lot of glass in our conservatory and I have always cleaned it for the past 15years. I am done! Sorry for long post He does sort the cars takes to the auto car wash....If I died tomorrow he would get a cleaner in for sure!

I suggest you get a cleaner and a window cleaner so you can enjoy retirement together. I also suggest you may wish to start your own thread about this

Just an ask who does what regarding housework: cleaning/gardening/cooking /windows/bathroom/toilet/driveway/deciding g what to eat each night. I willing did the donkey's share when my husband worked (although I worked full time. Now we are retired I find he expects me to carry on Like this while he scrolls his.phone and sits while I struggle, he is 73 and I am 72 both retired, and sadly I am getting resentful, when I approach him about it he says oh don't start, here we go again. He told me this morning I want everything done there and then, to which I replied I asked you 6mo ths ago to help me clean the I side windows (there is a lot of glass in our conservatory and I have always cleaned it for the past 15years. I am done! Sorry for long post He does sort the cars takes to the auto car wash....If I died tomorrow he would get a cleaner in for sure!

Germanshepherdsmum I absolutely agree.

If you know buying flowers is not his thing surely you must have accepted this by now. Appreciate what he has done re the biscuits. Hope you reciprocated with a gift for you both too.

Congratulations on your anniversary.
Whether your husband gives you anything or whether he doesn’t I would say, just enjoy having him still with you as I am widow so often wish my husband was still with me.
The most enjoyable anniversary we experienced was our ruby when our older son, who was then working in Tanzania, paid for my husband and myself also our younger son with his then girlfriend now wife, for a week travelling around the Serengeti and a week in Zanzibar before Tanzania became popular and when we were able to see a lot of animals

We take ourselves out for dinner on anniversary, or a hotel break.

I never ever received anything on our wedding anniversaries.

Lovely to read of all your happy marriages. We were together for 59 years and didn't really celebrate anniversaries except the big ones - always a proper party. DM used to ring and remind us when she was alive.

So much pain is caused by the 'marketing' of these essentially private events. To GrannyIvy I'd say - enjoy a bikkie or 2 (or don't if they just are not your thing) - get roses when you fancy. It is the daily warp and weft, not the days we are told to think are special, that really matters. It is hard for any of us to truly know what are nearest and dearest are dreaming of. All things do pass.

We holiday at Gretna Green every 10 years. Seems enough. I don't fancy cards, flowers, restaurant food - I'm just pleased we survived the odds.

We got our sums wrong and forgot our silver anniversary, thinking it was the next year. We both laughed. We don’t bother with cards and presents, but either go out for a meal or have a takeaway. I don’t know why some women feel wounded if they don’t receive a gift or flowers. I just don’t understand it.

We dont do pressies or cards for our wedding anniversary, nor do we go out. Indeed now our 48th is coming up in August we probably wont even remember on the day. Its a relief to me because DH is impossible to buy for. There is absolutely nothing he wants. I am probably just as bad. I would quite like to de-clutter actually and get rid of a few things, but all my good resolutions on that score tend to come to nothing.

Oh dear. Well, I've learned something from my daughters. They are not shy about suggesting. And it seems to work well with them.
So I tried it.
My 35th wedding anniversary was fast approaching. I told my husband I didn't need a gift but I'd love some flowers. Although I didn't say, I wouldn't have minded if they were from a supermarket, a garage forecourt, etc etc. I understand he thinks flowers are outrageously overpriced.
So, the day loomed. And the florist van parked in front of our houose. After a while, she knocked on the door. Tears in my eyes, sentimental fool that I am, lip a trembling, I answered. Only for her to ask if I would take in flowers for my neighbour.
On discussion with said neighbour, who thanked me for keeping her flowers, she told me her father had died. We talked a bit and I laughingly told her about the mix up and how my husband was a self centred git, unable to think of anyone but himself.
When said git came home, I confess to tearing a strip off him. I asked him what was wrong with him. Why should I have to beg for flowers?
Other wives didn't have to.
And then there was a knock on the door - my neighbour stood there with a bunch of flowers and handed it to my husband.
All in all, it was a bigger deal than it need be. But I got a bunch of flowers from the same florist the next day, and a bunch the week after.
Your husband is, like mine, self centred. He needs to confront his failings. Tell him so in no uncertain terms.

GSM summed it up perfectly!

Soon be 52 years for us. Definitely no presents. I'll get the old card out and put it on display. It's 'to us' 'from us'

Now, DH makes a new card when we reach a milestone, which is now if it's a 5 or a 0! We know how we feel about it each other.

It's strange over time how you get different perspectives, older and wiser maybe. My husband actually forgot our 10th wedding anniversary so I bought myself a lovely watch, he didn't forget after that! Now our 40th is looming and he suggested buying me a ring but I only wear one lovely dress ring and have a few I never wear so I said that was a lovely thought but not necessary. We will actually be away for our anniversary with our DD, SiL and wonderful GC so perfect.