Amusing things that children say.

When I had to tell my 4 year old grandson off he smirked so I asked him 'ok so what is funny then'. He answered saying 'a pig on a trampoline?'

My youngest Grandson when he was about five asked my daughter in law why ladies had boobs but men didn't, my daughter in law told him that when ladies had babies they had milk in them to feed the babies, his reply "well when they've finished with them why don't they give them back", she didn't have an answer.

I love that grannypiper 🤣🤣🤣

My Mother was horrified to read in my news book at a parents evening that "the rozzers came to my house and took my brother away then i went to prison to visit him"

A young mum was taking her little daughter to her own mother's house, who had recently died. On entering the property the little girl asked where her granny was. "She doesn't
live here anymore, she's gone to live in Heaven" said mum. "Well I hope it isn't raining there, because she's left her umbrella behind" was the reply.

Mouse

My youngest daughter is famed in the family for mixing up her words. As a child she once stood up in class and informed the teacher that an octopus had eight testicles!

She also described us as her intermediate family and once told us that a friend hadn’t battered an eyelash.

You reminded me of when I went to see my friend and her little GD was with her.

I noticed that my friend's car, which was parked in her drive, had a dent in the back so I asked her what had happened.
Little GD piped up "Granny backed into a bollock".

Looking at my middle daughter’s written work displayed for all to see, it was ‘about my dad’. ….. He’s the sort of dad who makes you eat your leeks. Exit one pink faced father!

I went with DD1 to collect DGS6 from preschool for the first time on that one sunny day we had recently. His key worker told him Mummy had arrived and oh, who’s that with her? I don’t know, he replied, and kept insisting he didn’t know who I was. When we got home later he announced that he hadn’t recognised me in my summer dress with my bra strap showing. The boy has standards and I obviously don’t live up to them!

Primrose, that really made me laugh! Reminds me of the time when my DD, aged about 3, was humming a tune in her pushchair while we were out shopping. A lady nearby said, "Oh, that's lovely, are you singing a nursery rhyme?" DD replied , "No, it's Tchaikovksy!" We only had one classical LP in our collection at the time and it was the Nutcracker Suite, which she loved listening to

Just today I was waiting in a pharmacy and a Mum and a girl of about 7 ran in from the rain. The girl was wearing a long white dress, red sash and a gold tiara type thing. I said “oh a Princess” She said “a Roman goddess actually.” Her Mum said “Roman day at school today.” 😂

My OH's father worked as a settling instructor for a well-known betting shop chain. They lived in Holloway in North London.

In his weekly news book he wrote, "My dad goes to the horse races and my Mum is in Holloway!"

My DGS, who lives in NZ, was on the long flight back for a visit when aged 2½ stood up in his seat and said loudly "I want to get off"
There was an immediate response from everyone in surrounding seats of
"So do we!"

In the car with my 5 year old daughter in the back seat and one of my good friends sitting beside me in the front. I had just picked said daughter up from school.

"Mummy, a naughty boy called me the 'C' word today."

Trying to distract her, I asked her what else she had done at school, but not to be deterred she ..."I can spell it if you want, he called me a......."

We both froze in the front seats as she completed the sentence,
"C.....O....W!"

Phew, that was a close one!

Over 30 years ago, in a long, non moving queue at Boots the Chemist, while the till operator changed the till receipt, my young daughter announced in a VERY loud voice...
"Mummy, you've got a bogey up your nose".

Kate1949 having had a family wedding in April, with thirteen children including our three year old grandson, I can sympathise 😬🤦

I apparently wrote in my “news” book at Primary School, “I’ve been to more pubs than my cousin Jane”

My friend and former neighbour, when our children were all very small, was a qualified nursery nurse and liked to remind people frequently.
One day they were doing arts and crafts at home with cardboard boxes, paint, sellotape etc and her daughter made a wonderful creation.
When her mum asked what it was, she said the name of a local pub.
My friend was mortified, but saw the joke 😂

My Daughter was around
three and newly enrolled at pre-school nursery. She came home one day and piped up 'Mummy, I know how to tell the differences between boys and girls'. Do you? I asked with trepidation. 'Yes' she said proudly, 'If you are a girl your hair grows long, but if you are a boy it stays short'
One relieved Mummy

Clawdy

Many years ago we were being shown round a historic old church by an elderly lady volunteer who said to the children in the group: "This is Jesus's house."
As we walked past the toilet on the way in, my five year old son asked excitedly "Is that where Jesus does a wee-wee?"

I am still giggling about this.

My youngest daughter is famed in the family for mixing up her words. As a child she once stood up in class and informed the teacher that an octopus had eight testicles!

She also described us as her intermediate family and once told us that a friend hadn’t battered an eyelash.

We took our daughter to a wedding when she was four. It was a sit down meal. DD was a bit of a fussy eater and had a habit of taking food out of her mouth if she didn't like it. Before the wedding I had told her time and time again not to do this and not to make a mess.
The best man said 'For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful' and DD shouted 'And don't make a mess'

Sago

Our granddaughter is 9, she finished school after her prize giving last Saturday, she had made a gift and card for teacher who was having to leave the school due to dwindling numbers in the lower school.
It was a case of last in first out.

GD adored her teacher and was so upset, after the prizes Miss X found my daughter and said she thought the card was hilarious and she would frame it.

Daughter looked concerned and said she didn’t oversee the writing of the card and should she be worried.

It said “Miss X you are the best teacher in the galaxy and I love you.
I am so sad you are leaving, it should be Mrs X as she is really horrible.

Love this!

Witzend

Gdd1, at barely 3, was asked by nursery staff what she was doing in the play kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I apparently wrote in my “news” book at Primary School, “I’ve been to more pubs than my cousin Jane” Both sets of parents were notified at Parents Evening!

My cousins and all attended the same Primary School.

Sago that made me laugh out loud!

SiL said to my 3 Yr old GS... Mummy and I have to go to the hospital to see the Doctor ( very pregnant DD) you will have to go around Nanna and Grandads for a while.. . Little one replied after a few seconds thinking about it
" I can't go around"
why not? said SiL..
GS answer "Daddy I can't drive "

Gdd1, at barely 3, was asked by nursery staff what she was doing in the play kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂