How do older grans contact friends?

My sister in law refuses to use what's app and says she can't send email although she can read mine. Any of the kids could easily set these up on her phone but she is very stubborn. Every time I phone now she makes me feel I'm stupid or have done something wrong. I'm beginning to wonder about her mental state. She is 83 and I don't live near her.

I'm still good friends with three friends from school. Three of the four of us are on WhatsApp and chat regularly about life, sports we followed in school and so on.

I call the fourth person King Canute as she will only phone, will reluctantly answer an email (her husband's!) but refuses to use any of WhatsApp, Messenger etc. Worse, she never stops talking on the phone and calls last at least an hour whatever you do.

The result is that the rest of us avoid her calls and she is now resentful. I thought sadly of her during the Olympics closing ceremony when the three of us had a lovely chatty time watching it via WhatsApp!

Long phone calls give me headaches. Each to their own for sure but phones are being left behind I find apart from this one woman.

I contact family and friends via telephone call, what's app and face time what's app,text ,email , but only use Facebook for the 2 groups I am a member of . And of course met up in person.

I do miss letters through the post but I have difficulty writing as my hands tremble all the especially my right . So I can only write lower case and my writing is small. Typing on my phone I have to concentrate to hit the write keys . But always having to rewrite things as words change on there own 🤣.

Email for friends abroad. Text for friends at home. WhatsApp for AC and GC only. I dislike phone calls a) because I'm hard of hearing and it's a struggle to hear and b) I don't like being interrupted when I'm in the middle of something.
If a friend wants a chat we meet for a walk, a coffee or a meal.

Email anyone apart from our children and GC, I prefer emails from them as well - however occasionally needs must.

Really quite amusing. What triggered this thread was a lady I met at a social group who kept saying we must meet for coffee. I had a feeling that she was a bit whispy but could not put my finger on it. She did not like email or texting but we made arrangements to meet for tea and cake and now she has cancelled because someone has offered to take her out to dinner on the day we agreed to meet. Sometimes your gut feelings are right. I'll stick to texting and email and follow my gut feeling.

Email, and phone calls, but phone calls are only with AC.

Win I do understand your frustration with your old friend. Things are better since I have a phone which monitors people and I have to accept or reject the caller. So I no longer get dodgy phone calls.

With regard to your friend have you thought of getting an answer phone this gives you the opportunity to accept the call or leave a message for you to return at your convenience? I sometimes don’t answer a call if I am busy doing something more important.

I have a lovely friend a lot older than myself and she would take over my life if I let her, but I decided to reply to her calls at my convenience or even leave them until the next day. When speaking to her I never use the word ‘sorry’ about being late in replying. Sorry gives the impression you are in the wrong when in fact you are asserting yourself.

Best of luck.

I use WhatsApp for making arrangements to meet up and for social things. I also use it for chats especially if it a group chat .
I have some friends and family members whom I phone for a chat . And yes MaggsMcG I do phone using WhatsApp and also video call .

I message one friend of 50+ years every couple of months and then every so often we book a date and time for a telephone call and talk for an hour. It's nice to hear her voice.

My oldest friend and I tend to telephone, but if several of us are getting together we use Whats App. We also email if it seems easier.

Do you all realise you can use WhatsApp to actually phone people. You can also video chat on Messenger.

Now we have quick messaging by many methods I do loathe an hour long ‘phone call - I’m with you on that cornergran.

WhatsApp with the family for quick contact. Friends according to their preference. Two good friends do not use or have access to text or WhatsApp. If I’m honest it’s oh so frustrating not to be able to send a quick message. One friend prefers an email which is fine while the other demands (yes, I do mean that) an hour phone chat each time. Sometimes respecting other people is hard going.

All of above but rarely phone or text now! Mostly What's App.

I prefer WhatsApp or text and email. I hate phone calls. I find it difficult to end the conversations with friends. Family phone calls are fine.

I'm 79 and use mainly WhatsApp and Messenger. Sometime texts and emails usually for work.

I love a phone conversation as I don't see many people, but I have an answer phone so I can choose when conversations happen.
I also use texts, WhatsApp and email for notes, sending pictures and 'letters'.

downtoearth

Several friends get on the phone, it becomes all about them and their issues and problems, repeatedly,.

One older friend can only communicate by telephone, she is the worst offender, I come away from the conversation, not having added anything,and drained, yes she lives alone, so do I.sometimes some people are just unaware of their effect on others.

That is so true, I have a friend who I have know for 50+ years. we have kept in touch on and off all this time, we are both widowed now, so she likes to phone everyone she knows. and spends all day on the telephone. I volunteer full time but she phones me daily and it is just too much, she waits for me to do the talking and just hangs on the phone for ages, until I bluntly have to say I have work to do. She is the same when we go for a walk, she comes back indoors with me, gets the cups out and puts the kettle on without being invited in. I am very fond of her and she is extremely kind, but she is taking over a lot of my time. The telephone is for me for emergencies only I do not like chatting on it for hours. Messages, messenger or email does it for me, not so keen on WhatsApp due to people having the camera on and expecting me to do the same at any time of day!! but I do use it occasionally.

It depends where they live. Friends are all over the place, on several continents.

Several friends get on the phone, it becomes all about them and their issues and problems, repeatedly,.

One older friend can only communicate by telephone, she is the worst offender, I come away from the conversation, not having added anything,and drained, yes she lives alone, so do I.sometimes some people are just unaware of their effect on others.

I’m absolutely with you on this topic. My friend who uses no modern technology makes it really difficult to keep in touch. If I phone her I’m never sure if she will pick up the message. I prefer to talk face to face as to on the phone.

My friend of 97 realised that she would lose contact with folks if she didn’t learn how to contact our group easily, so her daughter taught her how to WhatsApp and that has solved the problem.

It really irritates me the folk who almost revel in not using modern technology like my sister in Italy, she relies on my niece to be the go between.

WhatsApp has become my default way of communicating with a few occasional emails or phone calls.
I do have one friend who is becoming a bit left out however. She does not use the internet or a smartphone, dislikes phone calls except for business/commercial purposes and loves receiving and sending hand-written letters. We live a couple of hundred miles apart so can't meet very often. I've explained that I find it difficult to make time for hand-written screeds but she just says, "well, try!"
Sadly, although she's been a good friend and emotional support in the past, she's in danger of becoming a lost contact.

After 25 years working in a call centre dealing with customers claims/complaints I much prefer WhatsApp. My DH is always telling me I’d be quicker phoning the person, he just doesn’t get why I hate phone calls - too much like the day job😂

I am almost 80 and I am a lot more techie wise than some people half my age. Bad new is sight can fail with age even faster than friendships.

I have found that friends and family die so the people that are left become very precious.

For the past ten years I have found it best not to keep contacting people who do not respond at least once a year and guess what!!! I now have no contacts!

In my opinion many people develop a mode of contacting and will only use that one method. Use it or loose what few friends and family you have left.