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Letting 15 year old Son travel to Europe by rail

(285 Posts)
Judy54 Sun 25-Aug-24 14:57:51

Kirstie Allsop let her 15 year old Son travel by rail to Europe with his 16 year old friend. Now Social Services have contacted her due to concerns about his welfare. This seems a bit over the top to me, perhaps a 15 year old is still considered to be a child. He was just short of his 16th birthday and could have chosen to legally marry at that age. Many of us will remember starting work at 15 and travelling unchaperoned by public transport. I am not of course comparing that with European travel. If He had been travelling with an 18 year old friend then I suppose that would have been okay because he would have been under the care of a recognised Adult. What do you think is it okay for a 15 and 16 year old to travel to Europe without a supervised Adult?

BlueBelle Mon 26-Aug-24 13:23:17

But it’s very different flying to visit a family to wandering around Europe maybe staying in hostels etc Cold I see nothing wrong in a 15 year old flying to visit a family hopefully being met at the other end
Again 15/16 in student accommodation is only a step above boarding and I m sure that’s safe too this is a totally different situation

keepingquiet Mon 26-Aug-24 13:28:37

Another media storm over a 'celeb.' I am sure this happens a lot with or without parental permission. Remember those two girls who left the country a while ago? Did they have permission?
I'd like to know what the law really is on these matters?

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 13:31:42

Anything posted on social media is likely to bite you in the bum, as it seems Kirstie has found out.

She won't be the first, or the last, to be questioned by social services, though she is probably the only one who tie dyes knickers. smile

NotSpaghetti Mon 26-Aug-24 13:32:43

It was reported by someone
apparently, Boz - not "picked up on".

grandtanteJE65 Mon 26-Aug-24 13:34:51

I travelled alone at 16 and so did many of our generation, but the world has changed.

We were, after all, far more grown up at 16 than today's teenagers.

Frankly, I don't think an 18 year old can exert much influence over a 16 year old, although I see the point of the 18 year old being legally an adult.

I think parents need to evaluate when their children are old enough to be trusted on their own, whether travelling from one end of their own country to the other, or abroad.

NotSpaghetti Mon 26-Aug-24 13:37:16

MissAdventure - this is probably why I have no problem with it... I have been known to tie-dye knickers in the past - admittedly years ago! grin

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 13:39:17

Ah, that explains a lot. 🤭

Wyllow3 Mon 26-Aug-24 13:41:33

I think its a case by case matter, depends on the youngsters involved, and how well planned and so on, tho as others have said, to post it on SM is as others have said certainly beyond my comprehension. I really dislike this shock/horror journalism, it isn't making the world a better place.

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 13:43:24

Imagine the controversy if social services didn't at least check, and then the unthinkable happened.
It takes a village, and all that.

Elrel Mon 26-Aug-24 13:55:53

Easter 1955, a lot of us aged 14/15 had monthlong French Exchanges arranged by the school. Three of us travelled together, waved off by parents on steam train from Birmingham, got to Southampton, found ferry, got to Le Havre, found train to Paris, were met by the French families who were hosting us in various parts of Paris. First trip abroad for all three of us. I don't recall any problems at all on the journey. No teachers with us . We had been told not to go to the British Embassy church un Easter Sunday because it would be very full but to go instead to a British Nonconformist church, possibly Methodist we did, each travelling there alone by Metro, and were pleased to see each other and a few other girls from school. I think that exchange visit gave us a lot of confidence about being abroad as well as improving our spoken French.

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 13:56:59

I worry about knife crime when my boy is out and about.

NotSpaghetti Mon 26-Aug-24 14:26:54

MissAdventure

Ah, that explains a lot. 🤭

In my defence I wasn't only doing knickers!grin

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 14:30:21

Did you do matching pants for your man, too?

JaneJudge Mon 26-Aug-24 14:50:39

MissAdventure

I worry about knife crime when my boy is out and about.

So do I

JaneJudge Mon 26-Aug-24 14:52:42

Boz

Because of her class and education KA is very sure of herself; doesn't care to be challenged and arrogant to post it on X - from where SS found it.
I must concede I do not like the woman. Being told to 'Make do and Mend' by a rich aristo, did it for me.

I’m sure you’re not alone 😂

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 14:54:43

It doesn't bear thinking about, does it?
I tell him not to make eye contact, keep walking briskly, keep his mouth shut, give anything he's told to; trainers, money, phone...

JaneJudge Mon 26-Aug-24 15:17:35

It is such a worry and i'm not convinced doing what these people say always works either. It's mindless

gentleshores Mon 26-Aug-24 16:02:26

I think the law is not specific enough about this and it should be. They might be able to leave home at 16 but only if the accommodation is safe and suitable, join the army (where they are looked after) etc. Traveling to a foreign country without a legal adult is another matter I think.

But a parental is legally responsible until the child is 18 and an adult. If something had gone wrong she would have been liable.

I don't think it's good to let them do whatever they want - they should be told - when you're 18 you can do it and for now you come on a family holiday.

That's tricky though as 16 year olds tend to not like family holidays any more (unless they're abroad possibly) but they could always bring a friend (and in that case, the friend needs a letter of consent from their parents).

MissAdventure Mon 26-Aug-24 16:17:46

Most accidents happen in the home, so perhaps leaving them at home isn't the best idea either.
There again, who wants to take a stroppy teen away?

foxie48 Mon 26-Aug-24 16:44:03

When your offspring are 18 they are legally adults and can do what they want provided they can fund it. I'd much rather they start doing things on their own well before that age, when they still need permission and help to fund it (probably). It means you can discuss plans, talk through any potential problems/risks and generally be there in the background should they run into trouble. Parents know their children better than anyone else (or should!) and should be able to gauge how much freedom to give them according to their maturity not their chronological age. My younger daughter matured more quickly than my older daughter, she was much more adventurous and confident, aged 7 she went on her first activity holidays with PGL on her own. When asked if she'd like a friend to come too she said no, as it would be too much of a responsibility as the friend might be homesick. She did not phone home once. My older daughter went away for a couple of days with her classmates aged 9 and cried to come home. They are all different!

spabbygirl Mon 26-Aug-24 17:03:53

I was a child protection social worker in Carlisle a long time ago once a child hits 16 in Scotland they are legally an adult and can do as they please, not so in England, its 18. We had several 16+ yrs olds on care orders who did exactly that, going to stay with dodgy 'uncles' & if they were in Scotland we could do little about it but the minute they cross back to England the care order is valid till they're 18.
I would let a 15 yr old travel with a friend if he was a sensible type. I expect social services only rang to avoid dramatic headlines the following day.

I believe you have to phase in adult behaviours and let them try things on their own. KA is well resourced and could ring and book hotel rooms if there was an emergency.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-21742512

OldFrill Mon 26-Aug-24 17:05:37

At that age l wouldn't have bought no2 son a return 😁

Farzanah Mon 26-Aug-24 17:17:20

Children are indeed different foxie and it can depend on whether they have been allowed some level of independence and responsibility in a graduated way, according to their age, understanding and maturity.
Children in modern society, I feel are generally over protected, and do not become “streetwise” as early as their parents.

I think we can never eliminate risk, but we can prepare our children as well as possible for their future independent lives, whilst they are still under our guidance and influence. They don’t wake up on their 18th birthday and suddenly become responsible mature adults.

mae13 Mon 26-Aug-24 17:42:24

Would Ms Allsop have given her blessing to a 15 year old DAUGHTER doing this?

Harris27 Mon 26-Aug-24 17:55:36

I think it’s the case for the individual. I have three sons the eldest went abroad at 17 he’d booked it before even asking! Anyway he was very a very grown up lad did look much older and street wise we thought. Now second son was hopeless I wouldn’t let him go to the corner shop never mind abroad😂😂he’s still the same and he’s 43 😂third son very grown up and sensible and didn’t go abroad till 19.