Towards More Picturesque Speech

He's lost his appetite and found a horse's.

I'd sooner feed him for a week than a fortnight.

My grandmother used an older version of "Fur coat and no knickers". Her version was "Red hat and no drawers". Another favourite of hers was "If you were me and I were thee what a sensible place the world would be".

If my MIL's nagging got too much for FIL he used to say "Can you stop pecking my head, duck"

Duck was his affectionate name for her but the mental image of a duck pecking his head used to make me smile.

When seeing a gorgeous woman, my dad used to say “ I could sup a pint of her bath water” 😱
Another was “he’s elevenpence ha’penny short of a Bob”

When my wife worked as a dinner lady in a primary school, the Headmaster once told me that she is always surrounded by ‘a crinoline of small Children’ I think that is lovely and sums up my wonderfully motherly, not very tall but gorgeously cuddly, wife beautifully.

When annoyed - that is rippin' my knittin'. On being impatient - their a@#e is making buttons, both of these I use all the time

If dark clouds were threatening rain my mother would say "It's a bit black over Bill's mother's". When discussing people's
oddities she would say "All the world's queer except thee and me, and even tha's a little bit queer".

Another Birmingham expression: "they've got a face as long as Livery Street" said to describe a miserable person.
And another, although this may not have been in general usage: "she's very backaRackhams" to describe a somewhat common lady!

Aveline, fiorintina51 My mum used to say "Going round the Wrekin to get to Worcestershire"

If I ever asked what was for tea - which is what we called dinner when I was a kid - my parents would reply ‘a doll and a drum and a kick up the bum’.

Some I have heard of, some are new.
My dear Dad, when seeing a woman 'mutton dressed up as lamb' would say 'the sights you see when you haven't a gun'!
When asked what was for dinner, my lovely Wiltshire 'country bumpkin' Granny would tell us 'chair legs and mangle handles'!

We had some quaint childhood expressions in Liverpool:-

"Same to you with knobs on!" (When someone calls you names)

"God bless you and your one eyelash" (to someone boasting)

"I could eat a child's bottom through a cane chair" (Im hungry)

"As useful as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest" (very ableist but we didnt have all this dreary woke business back then)

hollysteers

My mother used to say I looked like “the wreck of the Hesperus” if I was going out looking a mess, but she pronounced it Hesprit😁

My DD gave me a new one: a “big unit” for a large person.

My nana used to say my old mum looked like ‘the wild woman of Borneo’ if she hadn’t done her hair or was looking a bit dishevelled.

My mother used to say I looked like “the wreck of the Hesperus” if I was going out looking a mess, but she pronounced it Hesprit😁

My DD gave me a new one: a “big unit” for a large person.

I remember my granny talking about an unmarried lady who, according to granny, thought that local boys weren’t good enough for her. She said, ‘ Aye, she let the bunnets go by, ‘cos she was waiting for a hat’.

( A bunnet is a flat cap)

My Mum who was Cornish used to say when she was tired, 'I feel like a bit of Ling' and when the weather was nice 'the sun is cracking the hedges'.

I live in Worcestershire but born in Birmingham. If someone was rather long winded when telling a story, they were,
"Gooin all round the Wrekin."
For those who might not now what the Wrekin is, it's a big hill in Shropshire.
A few years ago my cousin and her husband from New Zealand came to stay with us. One day we went for a drive into Shropshire. My cousin noticed this big hill, which to her looked suspiciously like a volcano, and asked me about it. I told her it was the Wrekin.
She was amazed. "It really exists!" She cried.
Apparently, her mother, born and raised in Birmingham, frequently used the old saying of going round the Wrekin.
Interesting that a local saying has travelled to other parts of the globe.

Yes heard Soft Mick here in Mcr. Also mum used to say she'd seen more meat on a butchers knife for a really thin person.

I wonder if anyone has ever heard of ‘soft Mick’. Where I was brought up people would regularly say something like ‘he’s got more money than soft Mick and he’s got enough’. Was always referring to a surplus of something as far as I know.

flappergirl

My dad used to say "plus fours, no breakfast".

Now this related to the sort of middle class that were evolving in the 1920's when he was a lad. There was a particular area of Bristol that sprung up during that time where the residents affected a monied and superior status but in reality they were financially stretched to the limit. Hence "plus fours" (a garment worthy of Bertie Wooster himself) but they went without breakfast to pay for such trappings.

Interesting.
Where I was brought up in Lancashire we referred to those who bought expensive houses but spent nearly all their money buying such properties as living in ‘jam butty land’ because that’s all they could afford to eat.

Someone who kept mislaying things would "lose their head if it wasn't screwed on".
"Too slow to catch a cold"

flappergirl

My dad used to say "plus fours, no breakfast".

Now this related to the sort of middle class that were evolving in the 1920's when he was a lad. There was a particular area of Bristol that sprung up during that time where the residents affected a monied and superior status but in reality they were financially stretched to the limit. Hence "plus fours" (a garment worthy of Bertie Wooster himself) but they went without breakfast to pay for such trappings.

Our equivalent was "All fur coat and no knickers"!

Aveline in the Midlands my Mum used to say ‘Once round the Wrekin’.

Sadly we can’t say some of the remarks above anymore, as language seems to have been sanitised.

A fat person was, 'Twice round the gasworks,' to my Granny.

I remember people saying ‘mop and bucket’ for a tall person beside a small one.
Also ‘a big boiling piece’ for someone overweight.

My dad used to say "plus fours, no breakfast".

Now this related to the sort of middle class that were evolving in the 1920's when he was a lad. There was a particular area of Bristol that sprung up during that time where the residents affected a monied and superior status but in reality they were financially stretched to the limit. Hence "plus fours" (a garment worthy of Bertie Wooster himself) but they went without breakfast to pay for such trappings.