Hair quandary

We can easily get stuck just doing the same things year after year can’t we? We tend to stay with the same hairdressers too, who also just keep doing what we’ve previously had. I stopped having my highlights done about five years ago. I felt the same about them, looking a bit yellowy. And the low lights just didn’t last very long. I invest some of what I save in good quality treatments and shampoos to use myself at home. I think this is more important than ever as we get older. My recommendations are Olaplex (which some of you might be pay for as a treatment at the hairdressers). No.3 - the bond builder - I use this about every 5/6 shampoos. You need to put a generous amount onto wet hair leave it for min 10 minutes before you shampoo. Buy the biggest bottle you can, and shop around on the internet. It feels expensive, but think about what you’re saving at the hairdressers! Sounds like a palaver, but really not - just wrap your head in a towel and go do something else while it’s working. Leaves my hair smoother and shinier without weighing it down. I think it is important if you’re going to go grey - it’s the shine that turns grey into silver. I like Olaplex No4P toning (purple) shampoo too and there is a conditioner. My mum (90) has a pixie cut now and her previously thick hair is noticeably thinner. She has started to use the Champo range. Also expensive (£20+) but like all expensive shampoos, a little goes a long way and it lasts ages. We are both really impressed by the difference in the appearance of her hair. She does one wash with this and one wash with a regular toning shampoo. Good cut every six weeks or so, and we are both sorted - and both get compliments about our hair when we are out and about.

I'm very lucky as haven't gone grey or white :-) I have one little salt and pepper slight streak at one side, but otherwise my hair colour has stayed (red head but it went darker and more brown in my fifties). I'm mid to late 60s now. My Mother was the same and still hadn't gone grey in her 80s (just a bit of pepper and salt).

But - I had always planned to just let it go white or grey and not colour it - because I just hate going to the hairdressers and hate spending money on it! I've left my hair long and I tie it up.

I know it's supposed to be a treat and relaxing and doing something for yourself but I have just never liked it.

Oreo

Where do all these ‘compliments’ come from to those with grey hair?😁And why?
It seems to me that women who let themselves go grey are always trying to justify it.
If you want to go grey or are unable to deal with the upkeep of colouring to cover it then fine.Grey hair ages both women and men tho men are usually just grateful to have any hair at all at an older age.The mistake a lot of older women make is to cling to their own colour if they were naturally dark haired, you are better going to a light brown or any shade of blonde.

Exactly! And there is a whole Facebook group that bigs up women who have, but woe betide anyone who asks for colouring advice! I joined it thinking they'd give advice on how to cope with grey hairs not actually tell people to give up.

Yesterday I saw someone who I know is in her late fourties. Hadn't seen her for a while but she has gone grey and has a short curly hairstyle as if she's much older. I think it's very sad to look old before your time because we have plenty of time to look old when we are 70/80 plus. I had a lot of pressure from my Mother to get all my hair cut off at age 40, just because it's what her generation were pressurised to do by the generation above them. I didn't cut it short OR stop dying it and I won't until I'm ready.

If someone has thin hair and wants to wear a topper, why not? There are plenty of young girls wearing fake hair in the form of hair extensions and lots of people wear wigs. Just do what makes you happiest and don't listen to people who say things that don't make you super happy.

Doodledog Perhaps ask for caramel and honey balayage, lightens brightens hair, lovely around ones face!

Primrose. It's a bit hard to explain. It is like a wig in a way but it's attached to your head with a special glue which sounds awful but really isn't. You can wash it, style it as you would your own hair. Every few weeks the salon take if off and condition your scalp. No one would ever know. It looks like my own hair.

Doodledog

You should hire Mr N out, Norah .

If I had white hair I would keep it that way, I think - it can look stunning if well cut. If it were grey I'd see what it was like and decide - I'm not (yet) too bothered about looking over 21. But it's darker than it should be, and my complexion is paler than it was, so I look ghostly. I need a bit of lift in my hair colour.

The lovely bit about bayalage is adding colours of platinum and blonde (or whatever colours one selects) also add? something to hair (apart from colour) making it thicker and easier to manage. First my hair was bayalaged was a gift to a salon in NYC - a wonderful treat that until Covid I repeated many times. I still require a good cut - imp, the finer ones hair the more a good cut is needed.

Kate1949

Primrose Thank you. I have a very expensive hair system which means that I can go out at least. Yes there are worse things but losing you hair is horrible.

Excuse my ignorance but what is a hair system please?

You should hire Mr N out, Norah .

If I had white hair I would keep it that way, I think - it can look stunning if well cut. If it were grey I'd see what it was like and decide - I'm not (yet) too bothered about looking over 21. But it's darker than it should be, and my complexion is paler than it was, so I look ghostly. I need a bit of lift in my hair colour.

Primrose Thank you. I have a very expensive hair system which means that I can go out at least. Yes there are worse things but losing you hair is horrible.

I met an old friend yesterday. By which I mean an old friend in both senses of the world. She is well up in her 80s. Her hair is scanty and very thin. However, she's dyed it pink! Looks daft but somehow it really suits her cheery personality .

V3ra

^During lockdown, when I couldn't have foils/balayage - my husband coloured 2 different box colours into my silver hair (a light and a medium blonde, one at a time) with small paint brushes.^

It took time, he did 2 colours with a day between - but time well spent. Perhaps try painting colours into your hair, with some help, at home?

Well done to your husband Norah! 🤩
I wouldn't trust mine to paint a windowsill 🤣

I've given up having foils at the salon this year. At my last appointment the hairdresser, who I've been with for seven years, seemed disinterested, very slapdash and in a hurry. The colours left a lot of root showing and were uneven in thickness either side of my head. Not worth the time or money frankly. It was my hair appointment for my son's wedding so I was quite annoyed and there was no time to do anything about it.
I've gone back to a box colour at home every couple of months and am happier with that for now.

Thank you. I intend to keep him painting my hair - easy to him, he measures, draws fine lines, works out areas during engineering work.

My hair is just another sustainability project.

I stopped having expensive high and low lights and just a good cut. It looks pretty good and a really nice pale blonde shade that is darker at the back. Pretty natural people remark on it. Saves a fortune and the condition is much better.

During lockdown, when I couldn't have foils/balayage - my husband coloured 2 different box colours into my silver hair (a light and a medium blonde, one at a time) with small paint brushes.

It took time, he did 2 colours with a day between - but time well spent. Perhaps try painting colours into your hair, with some help, at home?

Well done to your husband Norah! 🤩
I wouldn't trust mine to paint a windowsill 🤣

I've given up having foils at the salon this year. At my last appointment the hairdresser, who I've been with for seven years, seemed disinterested, very slapdash and in a hurry. The colours left a lot of root showing and were uneven in thickness either side of my head. Not worth the time or money frankly. It was my hair appointment for my son's wedding so I was quite annoyed and there was no time to do anything about it.
I've gone back to a box colour at home every couple of months and am happier with that for now.

Kate1949

Well as someone who has lost all her hair, I would give anything for ageing grey hair.

I have great sympathy for you*Kate1949*. I cared for my Mum for 14 years, lost her, then my sister in law who was like a sister, then two best friends from school and then my hair started getting terribly thin. I was referred to hospital and was told it was a form of alopecia due to stress. Pleased to report it is now much thicker again.

Have you considered a wig. My SIL had two fabulous ones in blonde and reddy blonde when she lost all her hair due to chemo. In some areas there areAlopecia support groups.
Take care.

Give it up! I turned grey after a bout of chemo and decided to keep it. I love it and all that fuss with dying it seems like a far distant memory! Try not colouring it and see how you feel in a few months.

What's wrong with looking older than we used to? We are older now. That's life. Grey hair is not ageing - it's us that's ageing and grey hair is only a symptom of that.

It is always an individual choice and of course those choices should be respected but how do we expect to battle discrimination by saying being your natural colour of grey makes you look older - Ageism!

Women with grey hair can look older that they might if they coloured their hair but the same is true the other way, I know of many older women who dye their hair, on some it can look, false (which of course it is)

Looking your age is a combination of many factors, skin, its tone, how well it is looked after, good haircuts to suit the individual, choice of clothing and colours worn.
The right make up, what looked good on you years ago, probably won't now, possibly the same about hair colour.

There are many famous women with grey hair and look fabulous.
As for men looking older with grey hair, I absolutely disagree.

What I think: Hair immersed three times a week at Aquafit may not hold colour well. The chemicals are apt to dry out hair.

During lockdown, when I couldn't have foils/balayage - my husband coloured 2 different box colours into my silver hair (a light and a medium blonde, one at a time) with small paint brushes.

It took time, he did 2 colours with a day between - but time well spent. Perhaps try painting colours into your hair, with some help, at home?

You have my sympathy Kate49 it’s so much harder to have hair loss for a woman.A good friend of mine is the same but few people know as she has two lovely wigs for going out in.

Well as someone who has lost all her hair, I would give anything for ageing grey hair.

My hair has got darker as I've got older (no grey), but I used to be blonde, and the colour is draining, as we lose colour in our complexions as we get older. I always had blonde and red highlights, but of course that stopped in lockdown, and I saw my natural colour for the first time in years - I looked dreadful (not helped by the DIY haircut, but that's another story😢).

I took matters into my own hands, and got a box dye from Amazon. It looked better (the dye was a bright dark red), and I was firmly locked down, so nobody saw it other than Mr D and the postman, but when lockdown lifted and I could get an appointment I was keen for something more subtle (plus, it was growing out). My hairdresser was horrified. Box dyes, particularly red ones, can't easily be coloured over, so I had to wait months for it to grow out so I could change the look. He did put highlights in after a while, but had to be very careful as they were a different colour on the red bits.

I now leave well alone, and my hair colour to the expert. It currently has blonde highlights, and I will have lowlights added on my next visit which is next week, I believe. It's less traumatic that way.

I think it is the cut and style more than the actual grey that is ageing. And grey hair together with a skin tone change as you age needs a rethink of makeup and clothes colours. Not all at once as that will be an unwelcome expense but try a few new ones.

How many tv presenters and newsreaders have grey hair? Of course it’s ageing.

Grey hair is not always ageing. I have a friend who is 73. She has waist length grey hair and she looks stunning. Her hair is glossy and slightly wavy. It's beautiful.

00opsidia

It's not a palaver for me to sit in the hairdressers for a few hours while she does my foils, but I don't like the fact that she doesn't colour the grey bits and wonder what the solution is?

I love my coloured hair, but am uncomfortable with seeing the grey. I know the hairdresser thinks it will blend, but it doesn't.

The answer is for you to use a Nice N Easy blonde shade then ask your hairdresser to put in some very light blonde highlights.
You can then buy root touch up if you need it in between salon visits which will save you money.If you use the medium blonde shade the lighter highlights will break it up.