Should I mention it again?

I have just read your post, and really sympathise with your dilemma, but not able to offer any advice, I’m afraid. However, I sincerely hope that your daughter is soon able to accept new offers of treatment for her depression. 💐

My DM had ECT back in the 1950s for severe depression. She said it changed her life. She was able to function again. She was recently widowed and had 3 small children.

Years later, 1980s she was again very low and asked to have the same treatment again. This time it didn't help her at all. Her teeth came out and she said it was a horrible experience.
So who knows. It may be useful for certain conditions but not all.

I think you are wise not to mention the cousin. If she wants to discuss it she will.
I am sorry for you both. Depression is a terrible thing.

Although this treatment suited your cousin it might not suit your daughter. One of my daughters has severe OCD for which she has to take meds, but as you say the meds don’t always work, which is why she recently changed meds, and now thankfully seems to have improved.
Before being on meds she tried cognitive behaviour therapy which works well for many sufferers with OCD but was disastrous for her triggering terrible intrusive thoughts and panic attacks.
So hold back, is hard I know to see someone you love so much suffer so terribly. Would instead encourage her to discuss her medication with her psychiatrist and look at alternatives, also has she tried CBT - cognitive behaviour therapy. Like I said it can work for some.

My advice, for what is worth, is to take a step back. You have already raised it once, so I think it would be wise to leave it to your daughter now. Continue as you are, being there for her, but hold back on further suggestion, difficult though I know that must be. Sending you hugs.

I agree with Ziplok. ECT may be ill-advised for your daughter, though it works well for some. You would not forgive yourself if she had it and got worse.
My sister had several ECTs over a number of years, which worked well initially, but not later.

I think you really know this answer to your own question. You care a great deal about your daughter, but some things are out of your control. I think you just have to accept (and probably know) that there is no magic wand here.

I really feel fo you as someone with similar problems. Do what you can, but once mentioned it's best forgotten. You don't know what seed you have already planted, now leave it to either grow or die.

Let it lie low
I know a young lady ( a good while back) who had a terrible time during and after ECT she suffered awful headaches after as well Everyone is different and everyone’s reactions are different if her psycharitist or she suggests it and it doesn’t work or makes her worse that’s one thing but if you suggest it and it doesn’t work you will feel responsible for ever
It’s not a pleasant treatment I think they give an anesthetic now they didn’t used to It can leave terrible headaches Personally i think it would be a last resort

anniehall, I have no experience of this so have no suggestions. Although I can understand the the love and worry you have for your DD. I can not imagine the anxiety this must cause you - I wish you and your DD well. 💐💐

I just want to thank everyone of you who responded to my dilemma here. It just helps so much just being able to discuss and ask questions and get such heartfelt advice. I hope those who responded who are also having similar experiences, know how much I appreciated you taking the time to respond, and wish you all the best as well. Thank you. Gransnet is truly a wonderful site.

ECT does not help every one. One of my relatives had it once and it did him no good whatsoever. They tried it a second time, even though both he and I made it clear he hated it and it did him no good. I believe it was deliberate torture by a psychiatrist who objected to anyone disagreeing with him.

At one time, it was seen as a fairly barbaric form of treatment but it appears that more recently it is felt that it can help some people. Perhaps the way it is administered now is more humane. As others have said, though, it does not suit everybody and maybe it should only be tried if all else fails.

anniehall I hope your daughter gets back on a more even keel. It must be horrible for her, and for you. I wonder if, in addition to medication, other forms of therapy have been considered - eg talking therapies, mindfulness, meditation, etc. I believe there is also some evidence that spending more time outdoors in nature and being more physically active can help lift depression.

I suffered from depression from puberty until the menopause. It blighted my life and I was on various medications for a lot of that time. I do wonder now if a hormone investigation would have revealed a cause and possible remedy.