Toughening up! How do you deal with it?

I'm always polite to rude people

If they are insulting I just ask them to explain what they mean until they get uncomfortable

It’s easy enough in real life to deal with rude people but a bit different on here. I received a horribly rude reply to my post on yesterday’s channel crossing disaster. First time I have encountered that on here. Not nice!

You can square up to people in real life, look them in the eye and say what you think about them.

Are you always so rude or are you having a bad day? I'll make exceptions if it's the latter.

Then walk away.

I don't know whether it's the best tactic or no - but I just carry right on with whatever I'm doing or saying personally in a normal way.

I live in an unadopted road nowadays with a "known road-owner" so there's been quite a bit of stuff (whilst the original couple still lived there) of me carrying on doing/saying whatever I was doing anyway. Their pet thing was trying to order me around and also anyone visiting me - cue for worst instance of her trying to order me not to have tradespeople coming up to help renovate my house/deliver goods and saying I wasn't allowed any visitors!!. I pretended I'd not heard her - and then had to go out and "stand guard" to make sure they didn't harass them when they visited me. So - yep....and there's been one or two others and I do just "say nowt/do nowt" and carry on in a normal way and apologise to anyone else that has come "on the receiving end" of their bad behaviour.

I can't be bothered with rude people. Prior to ignoring I say "oh?"

grandtanteJE65

TwiceAsNice

Gosh you must have to practice a lot to be this rude

Could you say that again I couldn’t quite believe anyone would be so rude

You can say it nicer but why not call them out anyway, nobody deserves to be spoke. To badly

I think you may have misunderstood OP, but that hardly excuses your rudeness!

TUAIM: have you tried something along the lines of "I may be over-reacting, but I found that remark / behaviour quite rude.
How have I offended you?"

Sorry, I have just realised I am the one who has been rude and who misunderstood!

TwiceAsNice

Gosh you must have to practice a lot to be this rude

Could you say that again I couldn’t quite believe anyone would be so rude

You can say it nicer but why not call them out anyway, nobody deserves to be spoke. To badly

I think you may have misunderstood OP, but that hardly excuses your rudeness!

TUAIM: have you tried something along the lines of "I may be over-reacting, but I found that remark / behaviour quite rude.
How have I offended you?"

9Georgesgran. I started writing and looked up and found you had also made a Paddington reference so, I am now just saying, like you I give the long hard stare - and then just walk away.

If you can get a slight look of amusement on your face as you give the long hard stare, and walk away, that is even more effective.

Love these comments.
I’ve been practicing a Paddington Stare for one particular acquaintance!

It depends on the situation, if someone is spoiling for a squabble ‘you’re quite right’ can stop them in their tracks, then walk away.

Ladyleftfieldlover

I’m on the WI committee and I’m afraid one of the other members often behaves appallingly. She was incredibly rude to me one day and I responded with ‘who do you think you’re talking to? I won’t be spoken to like that!’ She had no idea what I was on about. Another member always tells her off when she’s rude. Others look at the floor.

Dementia setting in?

Baggs

"No filters in you, are there?" said with a smile.

That’s a good one!

loopyloo

I find a long silence is helpful. And look of disdain and disapproval.

And raised eyebrows.

"No filters in you, are there?" said with a smile.

I’m on the WI committee and I’m afraid one of the other members often behaves appallingly. She was incredibly rude to me one day and I responded with ‘who do you think you’re talking to? I won’t be spoken to like that!’ She had no idea what I was on about. Another member always tells her off when she’s rude. Others look at the floor.

I work in a care home for adults with disabilities .. some of the mind, some of the body and some both.

I get along very well with all the staff and the management and our lovely disabled residents but the one staff I can't stand is ''Reg'', who is exceptionally condescending, patronizing and rude, he struts around with his snooty nose in the air treating all the staff as if we're the lowest of the low, particularly the women who is convinced that all women are weak and useless. .

Last week when I clocked in for duty at 6pm into the office ready to set up my computer etc. I simply said ''Hello Reg, I'm doing a quick cuppa, would you like one?'' And he totally tore into me and shredded me there and then. He thought I was going to burst into tears ''being a weak woman'' but I just said patronizingly ''Are you trying to be intelligent? Don't bother as it's obvious it's never going to happen!'' Then I made my cuppa and walked out!

The expression on his face was priceless!

It really does depend on who you are dealing with to be honest. Let’s face it who wants verbal hostility in life when you can do without it. To be more assertive be CLEAR in what you say in other words MEAN what you say and speak with confidence.

I have always been up front with my attitude and approach with people. I am not stereotyping but It’s the way I was brought up in Liverpool. There have been times in my personal life that have been difficult. I had to freeze people out for my own sanity.

In general I usually speak to people in the way they speak to me if they are not familiar to me. I have learnt that some people close to home are just naturally rude. I use a more diplomatic approach when speaking to them. It doesn’t always sit well for me but it’s the only way to keep the peace.

I sometimes say “are you ok?

loopyloo

I find a long silence is helpful. And look of disdain and disapproval.

I used to respond angrily, but realised it was a total waste of energy.
Now I give them my teacher face, say nothing and walk away.

However, the other day, I was incensed at a parishioner, who was extremely rude and interfering ( a habit of hers) in front of the new Parish Priest.
He had asked me to help with something and she reprimanded him saying, he shouldn't be asking me to do anything, due to my fragile health. The P.P was so embarrassed and apologetic. I very forcefully told her to mind her own business, that what I chose to do, was none of her business.
Parishioners, who witnessed it said I wasn't forceful enough!

Witzend, that is an excellent response.

loopyloo

I find a long silence is helpful. And look of disdain and disapproval.

Freeze them out. Cold and silent fury will put them on the backfoot - unspoken contempt will tie them in knots (hopefully) wondering what the cold shoulder is for, if they don't know already.
Don't respond or explain - they'll think you're trying to appeal to them!

If it was a question, ‘If you’ll forgive me for not answering that, I’ll forgive you for asking it.’

I rather like that one - I still have to use it, though!

I find a long silence is helpful. And look of disdain and disapproval.

Just say something like “Sorry, what did you say?” in a vague tone of voice as if you didn’t notice them, and they are very unlikely to repeat it. If they do, just stare at them and turn away as if they are unimportant , which they are. Good luck!

Sorry spoken not spoke didnt proof read

Gosh you must have to practice a lot to be this rude

Could you say that again I couldn’t quite believe anyone would be so rude

You can say it nicer but why not call them out anyway, nobody deserves to be spoke. To badly