When did 'Passing' become the new word for died????

Anniebach, I laughed at that.

wendyann23

I get cross when someone says so sorry you have lost your husband. No! I’ve not mislaid him somewhere. He’s not gone missing in M and S. He’s dead. That’s just a fact. I know they mean well but I do find it upsetting. I don’t like the term passed either.

I wouldn’t say I got cross, but I’m tempted to say that I didn’t lose him, I know exactly where I put him, but that would be a bit insensitive.
When I worked in a hospice, one of the doctors always said someone was ‘away up’, and we tend to use that in our family.

It's a pretty blunt word to use whe someone is kindly enquiring, too.

If someone really has no idea, it feels a bit like hitting them with a club to say "dead" sometimes.

I’m pretty sure this is a really old phrase “passing over into the next life”

Some people use “passed away” out of respect, for some the term “died” is a bit blunt and final.

I just think whatever floats your boat is ok with me.

I get cross when someone says so sorry you have lost your husband. No! I’ve not mislaid him somewhere. He’s not gone missing in M and S. He’s dead. That’s just a fact. I know they mean well but I do find it upsetting. I don’t like the term passed either.

Lost down the back of the sofa, passed wind - all common mistakes to make, I suppose, apparently.

I'm pretty sure people who watched my daughters ten year battle, think I'm going to inform them she farted when they ask after her.

Clawdy, as that phrase was used in an obituary notice, there was no ambiguity, and added an explanation in a moving way, I agree.
It is when the words ‘gone’ or ‘passed’ or ‘lost’ are used without a clear context that embarrassing conversations can happen.

My husband died last year, and I would not use any other word.

Lost sounds really careless .......

A friend's son committed suicide, and she wrote in his obituary notice that he had "freed himself in his own way". I thought that was a very moving phrase.

Why does it matter to anyone else other person. If that person chooses to use what word they like why should others dictate what should be said. Do we have to reform to what others feel is right (or wrong)

I do say my dh died, but if someone said there person had passed I would know what they meant. I would not be thinking ohh they have just passed by the house, or they have passed a parcel to me , common sense would make me realise they had died.

Let people choose what word "they want" at the worse time in their life. They may not even be able to use the word "died".

People are going for a pee, though, not to have a wash.

I dislike most euphemisms. People die, they don’t pass away or pass. I particularly dislike the ubiquitous bathroom or toilet for lavatory - though actually lavatory is also a euphemism, meaning washroom.

I do rather like some of the very old expressions - e.g. so and so was ‘gathered to his fathers’ - or ‘departed this life’ - not that I’d ever dream of using them, it goes without saying.

henetha

Perhaps some people just find it easier, on themselves or others, to avoid the word died. I think whatever people can cope with is fine, especially if it somehow makes them feel better.

Yes.

eazybee

I believe families of murder victims do not like the term 'he lost his life'; one mother said 'he did not lose his life, it was taken away from him,' Dreadfully true.
'Passed' to me indicates the deceased has gone from one sphere to another; the awful fact about death is that it is final. The use of 'passed' at a time when belief in an afterlife is increasingly decried seems strange.

If we had a murder in our family. I would describe the person as having been 'murdered', killed or being 'dead'. I would never describe them as having 'lost their life.

In fact when I speak o fthe war dead in my family I describe them as dying or being killed, I do not talk about loss of life even then.

'Loss of life' to me means an accident, though even then I think I would still say died/dead. I aways say that my sister died in a road accident.

You can pass from a state of being, to a state of not being.

I’ve seen a different term used in America - ‘Joe Bloggs peacefully transitioned on x/x/x.’ That seems very odd.

The use of ‘passed’ at a time when belief in an afterlife is increasingly decried seems strange

Yes, it does. Where do all these non believers think they ‘pass to’ exactly?

I attended a humanist funeral where it was very obvious religion didn’t come into it. Fair enough, but the coffin had yellow ribbons tied onto it. The celebrant informed us this was because when the couple went on holiday, they tied these ribbons onto the case to make them stand out on the carousel. Therefore, when ‘Fred’, in due course, went on his way to meet ‘’Mary’, they would be able to spot each other.

But seeing as neither of them believed there was any sort of afterlife, how would that happen?

Perhaps we all hope that somehow, there is something else awaiting us eventually.

I believe families of murder victims do not like the term 'he lost his life'; one mother said 'he did not lose his life, it was taken away from him,' Dreadfully true.
'Passed' to me indicates the deceased has gone from one sphere to another; the awful fact about death is that it is final. The use of 'passed' at a time when belief in an afterlife is increasingly decried seems strange.

Before my father died at a very elderly age, he used to read the daily death column in the local newspaper and say: 'Am I still here? Oh, yes, I am. That's good'. Thinking back time past we had many quite disrespectful phrases like: fell of their perch, kicked the bucket, went west, snuffed it, and worst of all 'croaked'. Perhaps 'passed' is not so bad after all.

People can say passing or passed away, it does not annoy me, they obviously find it difficult to use the word died and that is their problem, not mine. I have never used those words, when I respond I always use the word died.

I met a friend recently who said “I thought you had gone” and not long after my husband had died or passed as I prefer, I said what do you mean gone? she said I thought you had moved house 🤣🤣 passed over means passed into the next world at the right hand side of God if you’re a believer, there’s so much comfort there, free from pain and into a happier place is my belief and that’s why most people prefer that word - no one needs to be offended - but then we’re all different and thank God for that

I hate this word passing also lost. I have not lost my husband he has died and I know exactly where he is, he’s in our local cemetery in a grave so he’s not lost to me. Why are people afraid to use the word dead, that’s final. Sorry but just my own opinion.

It doesn’t matter,though. Whatever makes you feel good and who are we to know the feelings of others?

Perhaps some people just find it easier, on themselves or others, to avoid the word died. I think whatever people can cope with is fine, especially if it somehow makes them feel better.