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When did 'Passing' become the new word for died????

(169 Posts)
Franbern Thu 19-Sept-24 19:02:54

Just that really. Seems to be that no-one can say that someone has died, nowadays they have 'passed'. Okay, that might mean something if you are religious and still believe in life after death.#

To me, it is a rather silly term and is becoming increasingly annoying.

MissAdventure Thu 19-Sept-24 23:48:39

I think it's very much like the ashes issue.

Some people talk to them, carry a handful around, speak of them as if they are the person.

For others, it just seems daft.

The main thing is that whatever helps people get through, is fine.

Whiff Thu 19-Sept-24 23:45:06

I always say my husband is dead.or died and hate on the rare occasions I had to say late as he was never late for anything in his life . Apart from his funeral . The one before us over ran and remember saying to our children your dad would hate this as he hated queuing . It made us laugh. Which would have seemed odd especially as we could see people crying before we even went into the crem.

We had an unspoken pact we wouldn't cry during his funeral and I am glad we didn't as there was so many people from all over the country to thank for coming. There was no wake as we didn't believe in them or flowers . But had donations if people wanted to give . In the end we gave the cancer ward who treated him over £5,000 but it was to be used for things patients needed it wanted like a good bottle of whiskey or a fan etc.

It's funny even in this day and age people don't like to say dead or died. Which seems very strange to me . The worst phrase is they have gone to the great beyond 🤦. I always want to say beyond what ?

It's like when I was younger and remember.my nan saying in a quiet voice Mrs so and so has the big C. As if the word cancer was a dirty word..

The English is changing all the time but funny enough saying dead or died is still not used enough. But that's just my thoughts .

MissAdventure Thu 19-Sept-24 23:38:31

I choose not to say it, sometimes
It depends how I feel.

Anniebach Thu 19-Sept-24 23:36:58

She chose not to say died

HettyBetty Thu 19-Sept-24 23:23:54

I saw a school mum last year in town after not having seen her for a few years. Her son and mine were in the same class, my son is now mid twenties.

I asked how her son was. She said he had passed, so I said "oh, well done" thinking perhaps I should have known about an exam or something through the grapevine.

Of course, if she had said he had died that awkward conversation wouldn't have happened.

GreyKnitter Thu 19-Sept-24 22:59:38

I agree. The death of a loved one - human or pet - is very stressful and whatever term people feel comfortable in using is ok. I’m ok with using death and dying but others aren’t. It’s just a personal choice.

cornergran Thu 19-Sept-24 22:57:14

Always use died and death in our family. We’d find it odd not to. When talking with bereaved people I use the term they choose, it seems respectful somehow.

Sweetpeasue Thu 19-Sept-24 22:55:42

MissAdventure

Nursing today would recommend that you take the person's lead, since it is their choice, not medical staff.
Person centred planning, and all that.

This ,definitely

Anniebach Thu 19-Sept-24 22:29:52

I respect what others choose

Cabbie21 Thu 19-Sept-24 22:11:48

I say ‘died’. I am ok with ‘passed away’, as it seems gentler, if you like, but cannot bear ‘passed’.
My mum used to say X ‘has gone’

MissAdventure Thu 19-Sept-24 21:45:10

Nursing today would recommend that you take the person's lead, since it is their choice, not medical staff.
Person centred planning, and all that.

grandMattie Thu 19-Sept-24 21:33:40

Emphatically not as in “the late…”. This was as “my father is late” when asked about parents’ whereabouts

grandMattie Thu 19-Sept-24 21:30:25

I always say “died”.

I don’t mind “passed away” too much; but “lost”? Where did you leave them???

Worse still is “late”! I heard a Nigerian say that their father was “late”!! Oh dear.

Grannynannywanny Thu 19-Sept-24 21:27:14

I think it’s personal choice and the bereaved person may have their own reason for using the term passed/passed away. For some they just can’t bring themselves to say died.

I say died but I don’t have a problem with anyone saying otherwise.

Oldbat1 Thu 19-Sept-24 21:20:39

Died definitely for humans but strangely I use “lost” when one of my animals die. Wonder why? Odd.

Visgir1 Thu 19-Sept-24 21:19:44

ixion

Nurse training stressed the need to avoid the verb 'lost' when explaining a patient's death.
As in, I am so sorry we have lost x.

^Lost? Well which ward was he going to?^

Same here.. Lost sounds like someone has been careless.
Passed away, is gentle.

mabon1 Thu 19-Sept-24 21:12:12

When I write a letter of sympathy to anyone (always write never a card) who is grieving I always
say died.

Tuaim Thu 19-Sept-24 21:04:33

It sort of suggests that the loved one has slipped or whispered away to a better peaceful place. Died just sounds so final. I stick with passed away, if that's OK.

Deedaa Thu 19-Sept-24 20:29:18

Even back in the 60s I remember my mother hating "passed away" She thought it was very twee and childish (actually she thought a lot of the language people used was twee and childish) Heaven knows what she would have thought of "passed".

I do sometimes use "lost". After all it is quite descriptive, my husband is dead and we have lost him as a presence in the family.

biglouis Thu 19-Sept-24 20:28:48

Working in America I got used to some of their euphemisms.

Pass, passed over, passed away and "we lost X" were common.

Bathroom and rest room are preferred to toilet.

LOUISA1523 Thu 19-Sept-24 20:15:54

I don't use it myself...I sayed died ....but it doesn't offend me if others say it

M0nica Thu 19-Sept-24 20:10:05

Why not? I think it would be fun if I could manage it.

Perhaps I could put a clause in my will saying that my descendant wold be diinherited if heard using any word for death that I disapprove of, for a period of 5 years!

Doodle Thu 19-Sept-24 20:10:00

Whatever term the bereaved choose to use should be fine. Some people find it hard to say died especially when they have to repeat it over and over so many times to various different banks and companies.

Anniebach Thu 19-Sept-24 20:03:11

Yes you will be dead so don’t try to control

M0nica Thu 19-Sept-24 20:01:11

I have threatened to come back and haunt any member of my family, who uses 'passed away' or 'passed' when describing my eventual death.

Kicked the bucket and similar terms will be acceptable but nothing shmaltzy, euphemistic, or sentimental is permissable.

When I die, I will be dead.