Struggling with retirement

It sounds as though you are still grieving. Not just for your Mum up also for your previous life. I don’t know if it would help you, we are all different, but when I first retired we went on a massive road trip for weeks, staying wherever we felt. I know this is easy for us in Australia because of its size and ease of getting into remote areas but maybe something similar? No one knew us, everything was unfamiliar and quite different from the places we knew . Just exciting. When we got back I was ready to settle and get into the garden and chill out!
Also- joining various groups helped. Some more than others, nothing like a good yack with fellow retirees!

N advice, just good wishes, it took me about a year to adjust to being retired in 2022, I love it!

I would go and see your GP for the anxiety and then look at doing some form of exercise that you would enjoy.. I love the idea of a road trip if your partner is in agreement.. something that you would enjoy together...

I did not really enjoy work (and would not want to go back to it) but I did like the structure it offered. Since retirement I have become a bit lazy. This morning (and it's now midday) I have achieved virtually nothing. Because there is endless time to do tasks I find I just plod along. I have no sense of purpose other than my pretty garden which I can only do for about half the year. I feel exactly the same as you which, of course, is no help to you at all but just to say you are not alone.

When I retired I felt similar and went to see a therapist who suggested that everything you do has meaning. She advised I start a diary/activity sheet which recorded all my favourite activities. I now, four years later, can look back at all the books I've read, films seen, places visited, friends met, etc crafts followed etc and it really does make me feel so much better. Sometimes, if I don't want to go to something, I'll go and then record it and be glad I went. It does give you structure and you see exactly what you have been doing. Good luck!

Thank you all for your kind words and helpful suggestions. I particularly like the idea of keeping a diary of what I do Tuaim. I think it's sometimes called "journalling" - I will give it a try.

You mum died less than a year ago and you only retired just a month ago, so firstly take a breath. You are doing really well, already joining U3A, exercising, and thinking of volunteering.
But right now you are probably still grieving and panicking about not being able to fill your days. A trip to the GPs might help with the anxiety, they don't tend to prescribe meds straightaway but could recommend cognitive behaviour therapy, it works well for some.
The thing is it takes some time to adjust to retirement, volunteering will help with a sense of purpose and you will make new friends, also retired, who will share with you their plans and perhaps include you in some of them. This will also be good for your marriage, try to cultivate interests that don't include each other, this will cut down on rows, and then spend time together doing things you both enjoy.
But don't look at this as the end, look at it as the beginning of a new chapter.
All the best xx