Extra guest.

I think that the other GM will wish to pay for herself.. and you should let her if she offers..

I'd say just be mindful that you paying for everyone might actually make the other grandma feel awkward, so be ready to let her contribute if she would prefer to!

Have a nice birthday lunch all of you, how great for this young mum and her baby to have such loving support 🥰

I asked because I genuinely didn’t know how to handle it.
It was only reading others opinions/suggestions which I had asked for, that I decided that it really wouldn’t be awkward if I just welcomed her along and paid.
I hope that answer is explanatory.

Ahh well if you have the money usedtobeblonde it’s a complete none problem isn’t it !!! Dont understand why you asked 🤣

Absolutely wouldn’t expect to be paying for everyone if another “adult” was coming along. We have often had an extra adult child brought along to things like this and just sucked it up but not this!
Do say to your GD that certainly she can come along too but your not paying for everyone.

I shall also say I am so happy she could come to help us celebrate.

That is what I shall do.
I can afford to do so and I think it is the solution.
If Gran offers I shall just say it is my treat for F’s birthday.

I would expect to pay for everyone in this scenario. It would be rather awkward to leave one person to pay for themselves.

You can do one of two things either what my cousin does which is to slip away to the ladies? and pay the bill secretly, then say 'All paid up'. Or, you could wait for the silent pause at the end of the meal and wait for someone to suggest paying the bill. I would not pay for one and not the other. It makes the odd person feel unwanted and unwelcome having been on the receiving end of it.

gingster she may not have the money to pay for everybody

As others have said ‘just pay up’. You’ll feel better and there won’t be any awkwardness.

I’m (almost) certain Gran will expect to pay for herself. She might mention this at the outset. If not, just check the bill and say “oh, I’ll pay for “Jane” and myself, hope that’s OK”. You are not expected to pay for a guest you didnt invite. Have a lovely meal.

Would play it by ear. If you go to pay and gran insists she pays her share let her do so but pay for the friend of your GD, if she doesn’t make a move or enquire about her share afterwards just consider it a one off so no biggy.
Otherwise it might be difficult to broach on the day.
Tbh if she knows is a birthday treat am surprised she has invited her GM, but I suppose she may not have thought about the awkwardness it could cause.
In any case enjoy it, you sound like a lovely person xx

Maybe the gran doesn’t expect you to pay for everyone and will offer to pay for herself?

V3ra

I'd suggest that you and her grandma could split the bill between you.
Or you pay for yourself and your friend, as you originally expected, and grandma pays for herself. I can't see why she'd expect you to pay for her meal!
Either way, don't be squeamish about speaking up, splitting the bill is not a problem these days.

Have a lovely lunch date 😋

I agree

ButI I don’t understand why would you pay for grandma you didn’t invite her !! When the bill comes round put yours and if you want the young girls in as you invited her and that ll leave gran to put hers in I wouldn’t be able to pay for the girls guests what if she’d invited granny and grandad and aunt Mildred along !!!

But you have to have spare cash to do what you did CrazyH perhaps Usedtobe doesn’t have extra dosh it’s not about being generous or easy going it’s about whats in your pocket

I think I will just bite the bullet and pay the bill.
I have met Gran on two occasions and got on ok with her.
She is ten years younger than me but we were friendly and both wanting to do the best for the young person and her adorable baby.

I wouldn’t mind, honestly. I’m an easy come, easy go type of person.
BUT , a member of my family was very annoyed with me, when I took my AGS with me. This family member, had invited me for lunch. My AGS happened to pop in to see me just as I was leaving. So I said, i was going over to N’s house. He loves his cousins, so he wanted to go with me. I didn’t think there would be a problem. In my house, I am a generous cook, and there’s always more than enough to feed an extra two.
I have learned my lesson. Not everyone is like me.
In your case, OP, it’s different. You were going out for a meal. Thats an extra £20 -£25.
I have a feeling, the guest will pay her share, hopefully. Enjoy whatever is decided !

I'd suggest that you and her grandma could split the bill between you.
Or you pay for yourself and your friend, as you originally expected, and grandma pays for herself. I can't see why she'd expect you to pay for her meal!
Either way, don't be squeamish about speaking up, splitting the bill is not a problem these days.

Have a lovely lunch date 😋

I think that really you are a bit lumbered with paying for everyone utbb. But, GM would, hopefully, offer to buy the drinks.

Awkward for you.