Has your religious or cultural upbringing affect the rest of your life ?

Marilla

I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools. I loved being part of the church with the passing seasons and rituals.
However, I married a non Catholic divorcee (registry office) am unable to take communion and no longer feel part of the church. The church do not recognise my marriage and consider me to be living with a married man.
Despite this, I miss it terribly.

So why do you not just go to church and communion and not tell your priest about your marital situation?

I was talking to a catholic priest recently and he said he knows, but not officially, that this is the situation with several families in his parish, but as long as no one tells him officially and he will never ask, he will continue to give them communion.

I have always had a very robust attitude to my catholicism. No one is perfect (see my post above) no one is a perfect christian (or jew, muslim etec etc), not even the ministers. So do the best you can and be relaxed about the things you cannot do.

Neither of my parents were church goers but my mother went to a convent school which she found quite cruel. However she did have a very private faith. From the age of eight I myself started my faith journey simply by asking for and getting a Bible on that birthday. At 13 I really committed to and had experience of a relationship to Christ. This has continued to this day and along the way have seen and experienced amazing things where God has impacted my life and others. I have also experienced the CofE at its worst through a spiritually abusive vicar. My faith relationship has been an anchor and source of strength regardless. Knowing I am loved and precious to God just as I am is freeing and empowering.

No

I became a Christian in my late teens. I already had a a direction in life from my wonderful parents who, though Christian in outlook , never followed any particular dogma. My faith, though not a church attender, is just part of who I am and informs my daily life and how I interact with others.

For all who feel a stranger to their faith, the door is always open when you want to return.
Hope I bump into you at the celebration of Mass.
In most towns there is the Latin Mass or the Novo Ordo. Worth a visit if you feel the need. The door is open, no pressure.

As a child I used to go to Sunday school later church before being confirmed.
Stopped attending church as a young teenager. Now if I call myself anything it’s humanist.
I did not marry in a church, nor did my children, who were not christened or married in church and grandchildren not Christened. Too young to be married. All decent honest caring people.
I operate by the Do as you would be done by ethos and it works for me.

Like all vaguely Christian English girls of my generation, I took part in daily prayers and hymns at school. I enjoyed this very much, because I liked music and words, but I don’t think I ever actually believed any of it literally. Similarly I went to church with my father, and enjoyed that for the same reasons. My parents thought I should experience church, but again neither of them actually believed in it.

My mother stayed at home and made Sunday lunch. Her father had been the headmaster of a Church of England school, and she had been subjected to far too much churchgoing for her liking. She told me that the only thing that interested her about her confirmation was the dress.

My attitude is still much the same. I like the music (and I don’t mean the happy-clappy sort), the architecture and the literature, but see faith as irrational and unnecessary.

Just seen silverlining48’s post. I was not christened, neither was my husband, nor my children or grandchildren.

I too believe in “Do as you would be done by” ethos for living.

Crossed posts grandma70 s, yes I still can enjoy those lovely old hymns, and also like the peace and the centuries of history of churches,and churchyards, but I too find faith irrational and unnecessary.

My dad was always anti religion because of all the deaths through the ages in the name of religion.
My mum was C of E but didn't go to church so I was brought up without a religion. I did go to Sunday School for a while but never really got anything from it.

Thank you LovelyLady what a beautiful thing to say. Yes the door is always open to everyone in their own way and in their own time.

Are there any gransnetters who were raised in a Sikh, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish family? I would love to know their experiences

M0nica:
Thank you for your response. I had hoped that after forty years of marriage, there would have been a change in the rules regarding divorce. It would appear that you can be forgiven for most things, except marrying outside the church.
I will give your advice some serious thought.

Marilla, if I were in that position the last thing I would want to do is turn up somewhere I was un welcome. You couldn’t be comfortable there. How narrow can a church be to still hold onto such archaic rules. It’s an insult to your marriage and partner.
Instead of going to this church under false pretences why not consider looking at a different and more welcoming church.

Reading my grandmother's diaries, there were many entries saying. "Took "X " to Chapel . Week after week. I think I must have hated it as I can not remember going to Chapel except a very few occasions. Anyone knowing Methodist Capel denomination would know that there are no religious pictures, ornaments ,crosses, As the commandment Though shall not bow down to any graven image ,was taken literally . She took this as a reason for not liking Catholics, but truth be told it was the local priest in their village who caused my grandparents bankruptcy as catholic parishioners had to pay their church dues rather than their debt at the local shop.
My mother went ballistic when I was invited to the cinema with a catholic lad. I didn't even know he was catholic.
Glad to say I have friends of different nationalities and faiths. Our common thread is friendship.

Romola

It is interesting how many posters were brought up Catholic. It seems that a Catholic upbringing stays "in your bones" even if you reject it later.
My parents weren't religious, but did send me to a CofE boarding school. I did learn the beautiful words of the Book of Common Prayer, many hymns and much music, which I love still although I have no religious belief.

Strange isn't it. we have some friends who were brought up as Catholics and are no longer religious. Interestingly, if one ever criticises the Catholic Church they will stand up for it.

No.
We went to Sunday school if we wanted to, and we were christened, but that was it.

I did quite enjoy taking a man I supported at work to church, but that was because the vicar is lovely.

I was brought in the C of E and confirmed when I was about 15 or 16. I drifted away from religion when I was in my late teens and have had little contact since then.

After my father died my mum went to the local church because she was unable to get to the one they attended. She told me that she had been crying during the service and no one approached to see if she was OK

When our local C of E in Suffolk had a new vicar he called upon us. I had a free afternoon and invited hm in for tea. He mentioned that we didn't have children and my response was that I had never had the desire to be a mother. He told me that, had I been younger, he would be counselling me to have children.

The wife of the previous vicar got up a petition to oppose my DH's planning application and exagerated his work in the process.

My FIL didn't have his two sons christened because of churching - he objected to the phrase that children are born in sin.

I did not become a godmother to my eldest niece because I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

One friend who was a chapel goer had a longstanding relationship with a married man. She complained that when we got together for our monthly girls' night she felt she was being attacked for her religious beliefs. She was unaware that we all had no problem with such relationships ( there are often good reasons) but thought that, being a believer, she should respect the 10 commandments. In fact, she confessed to another church goer who told other members and she was thrown out.

It's not necessary to be brought up in a faith to behave in a good, kind way to other people.

HousePlantQueen

Interesting thread. Church of Scotland Sunday school which was joyless, my Father had no time for organised religion, and although my Mother had attended in her youth, was a Sunday school teacher, she walked away after a cruel and selfish action of the Minister when her brother died. My children went to the village primary which was CofE, so had a 'mild' religious education, but we didn't have either of them christened as we feel it should be their decision, and frankly, would have been rather hypocritical of us as neither of us are believers.

I understand that many people get comfort from religion, and sometimes envy them their faith, but it is not for me. I am capable of following a moral code, being kind to people etc., without going to a place if worship, and I have a serious issue with male dominated behaviour in some areas of the major religions. Evangelical Christians repel and frighten me.

I did not find my Church of Scotland Sunday School cheerless I have so many happy memories of it . I loved the man who ran it and we had great Christmas parties , summer outings and we even put on a pantomime one year.
I passed the church I went to the other day knowing it was closing down and stuck my nose round the door. I was welcomed in and had a very nostalgic walk around all the different areas . It was so sad to see it being discarded because of the cost of repairs.
I joined the local COS where we live now but the minister put me off for life. He thought nothing of his parishoners if the did not really contribute to the church in some way . I felt he ran the church like a manager of M & S . He gave no thought to the members of his church ,who were doing sterling work outside of religion,like my DH who worked for the Samaritans for many years.

My mother, and her maternal ancestors were all Roman Catholic, some very seriously indeed. But mum and her two sisters all married non-religious men (my dad used to joke that he was Church of Turkey), and only I was brought up RC, attending both RC primary and secondary schools.

Unlike a lot of RC friends I never felt indoctrinated. The nuns at secondary school were mostly lovely, concentrating far more on our academic life.

I had a period in my teens when I stopped going to church (I was basically too busy to find the time) but returned to church when my children came along. They were both baptised, made their first communions and were confirmed, but my DH had no religion at all. They attended C of E primary school but the elder an RC secondary.

Both "dropped out" of church as adults, as did I, for no reason other than that it interfered again with my busy life.

I always enjoy a Catholic service even today, and I still feel like a Catholic.

One thing that has always stayed with me is the prelude to Confession where you "examine your conscience" and think of ways in which you have sinned that might be worthy of confessing with the (serious) intention of not doing the same in future. We were taught that even the Saints committed seven sins a day. I don't do it regularly but now and again I do think about whether I am living a decent life and how I might improve. That makes me sound like a goody-goody and I am definitely not one, but it's something I think a lot of people could find useful in life.

Like crazy H I was raised in a Catholic family and attended a convent school. I never felt I was indoctrinated and was always able to articulate any disagreements I had with doctrines and teachings. I am grateful for the values and morals I share with my fellow believers. My faith is very important to me and being involved in my church community is a great source of comfort and support. I believe that many of the problems faced by modern society are in no small part due to the breakdown of morality in our world.

As I'm a minister of religion now it has

Granra2

Like crazy H I was raised in a Catholic family and attended a convent school. I never felt I was indoctrinated and was always able to articulate any disagreements I had with doctrines and teachings. I am grateful for the values and morals I share with my fellow believers. My faith is very important to me and being involved in my church community is a great source of comfort and support. I believe that many of the problems faced by modern society are in no small part due to the breakdown of morality in our world.

Granra This my experience. I didn't particulalry like some of the nuns who educated me, but I never felt indoctrinated.

I could always see the gap between the, very high ideals of my religion and the people who taught me about it. As I said, probably way back on p1 of this thread. I understood when I was very young that none of us are perfect and that even those in authority over me are less than perfect and as capable as everyone else of making mistakes, being malicious, using their power to wrong ends.

On the otherhand I have also met people whose religious devotion has led them to live lives of heroic sacrifice to care and support those in need in every way.

Mum was Anglican and was a church-goer with dad when we were young. I remember going to church and Sunday school. He believed himself atheist though, but at one time he went to a Methodist and 7th Day Adventist church.

Unfortunately I pressed the wrong button and sent my message before I could finish.

Anyway, needless to say, mum eventually became a JW but didn't influence us. Us children, in our teens by then, decided to go along with it. And it seemed right for us. My sisters remained as JW's although when my elder sister died, the JW ministers refused to allow a service in the Kingdom Hall because of the manner in which she died - suicide, which was a sin at the time.

I eventually broke away from the JW's due to a number of things, that I won't go into here. But I did notice some hypocrisy and realised this was not the religion I thought it was. I delved into it further and I made up my mind and left.

I have no regrets. I don't regret having been in a JW as I learned a lot. I am more open minded to what other believe now, and respect that.

I still want to worship our Creator but have yet to find a church to which might align with my thoughts. I have gone into beautiful churches to see inside, sat down, cried and prayed. Maybe one day I will find something that I'm looking for, once again. But in the meantime I try my best to be kind, good and non-judgmental.