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Staying overnight with friends

(42 Posts)
Judy54 Sat 26-Oct-24 16:31:01

We are now finding it difficult to stay overnight with friends and to share one bathroom (no separate loo). We have to go past their bedroom for night time trips and sometimes bump into them getting up at the same time. They live to far away for us to go and come back in one day. Last time we stayed I got up in the morning needing the loo and my friends Husband was in the shower so had to wait for him to come out. It was difficult to hang on especially as my friend had made us a cup of tea! We also now prefer to sleep in our own bed. Not sure how long we will continue to visit them (they are good friends) unless we opt to stay in a B&B. Would sharing the only bathroom in the house cause you a problem?

Grammaretto Sun 27-Oct-24 08:53:51

6 of us in this house with one bathroom and a nearly separate loo for 25 years.
Aged 60, I stayed in a hotel in Orkney which promised an ensuite. It was miniscule - a converted cupboard- but gave me an idea so I asked a plumber if he could fit a shower and toilet in a cupboard here. He did and I love it.
So much so that I had another one installed in a ground floor room.

Hotels can be expensive. Airbnbs are often cheaper. I stayed in a very nice hotel in Newcastle recently. It was a £100 but included breakfast.

Witzend Sun 27-Oct-24 08:25:56

Ohmother

If I or my friends/family can’t manage the bathroom ‘inconvenience’ for a couple of days it’s a sad world. I love spending as much precious time with them and feel life is too short to be anal about these things ( pardon the pun).

Family is one thing, but if staying with friends and you need to use the loo 2 or 3 times during the night, and the noise of flushing is a concern, I don’t see that as being ‘anal’.

Gingster Sun 27-Oct-24 08:12:20

Last time I stayed with my son and family, I needed the loo during the night, carefully opened my door, didn’t put the light on, crept along the hallway with my hand on the bannister and knocked DGD’s phone off, which clattered down the stairs.

I felt so embarrassed to make such a din.

ginny Sun 27-Oct-24 07:59:53

Aldom we still spend plenty of time with our Friends. Usually from around 10 am to 10 pm. As we wouldn’t share a bedroom with them and couldn’t see them or talk to them at night we really don’t miss them for too long.😁

Aldom Sun 27-Oct-24 07:50:00

Ohmother

If I or my friends/family can’t manage the bathroom ‘inconvenience’ for a couple of days it’s a sad world. I love spending as much precious time with them and feel life is too short to be anal about these things ( pardon the pun).

I now stay in a hotel out of consideration for my friend, nothing to do with being anal about these things. My friend has a chronic health condition which gives her constant pain and sleep disturbance.
I feel very aware that I might wake her if I were to use the bathroom during the night. Mornings are difficult for my friend. So meeting at 10.30 is perfect. We then enjoy quality time together. When we were ten years younger it was different, her health was less of a problem and we enjoyed staying with one another. Age and health are a deciding factor when sharing someone else's home, even for a short time.
I regularly stay at the home of my family, 20 miles away. I have my own room there.

Calendargirl Sun 27-Oct-24 07:26:15

Reading through this, you honestly wonder how we managed years ago.

Our family of mum, dad, sister and me. One bathroom including toilet. No shower back then, just a bath.

In the holidays, some of dad’s family came to stay. We all seemed to manage the situation. Did they ever have a bath? Cannot recall, they stayed about a week at a time.

But back then, we weren’t all bathing and showering on a daily basis.

How times change.

Ohmother Sun 27-Oct-24 07:20:59

If I or my friends/family can’t manage the bathroom ‘inconvenience’ for a couple of days it’s a sad world. I love spending as much precious time with them and feel life is too short to be anal about these things ( pardon the pun).

Greyduster Sun 27-Oct-24 06:34:14

I am spending a few days with my son shortly and did point out to him that I have to use the toilet at least once during the night. He said so does he so we’ll be dancing on the landing. I offered to stay in a B&B in their village but he wouldn’t hear of it. I also can’t use the shower over their bath so will be using the one on the ground floor which is also not particularly satisfactory. I don’t get many overnight visitors here but it’s nice to be able to offer them their own facilities.

JamesandJon33 Sun 27-Oct-24 05:55:53

Usedtobeblonde. We stay in the Conwy area regularly. There is a marvellous hotel in Trefriw, just down the valley from Llandudno. I can’t tell you the name here, as that would be advertising, would it not? But if you are interested pm me .

Usedtobeblonde Sun 27-Oct-24 02:41:48

Just a side note to this discussion, Premier Inns are becoming increasingly expensive.
Gone are the £39 per room per night.
Recently I stayed overnight in Llandudno at a moment’s notice and paid £177 for one night and of course breakfast isn’t included.
One of the decent hotels there would have been cheaper but as it was high season they were all booked up and in any case wouldn’t have booked just one night.

Grammaretto Sun 27-Oct-24 01:33:25

I love it when I don't have to share a loo but tbh it wouldn't put me off staying with family or friends.

When family stay with me, its usually more than one or 2 so my DB and SiL often book a hotel locally to put less pressure on bathrooms.

Best laid plans though; DS wedding and DSis and DBiL staying with us so nieces and nephews and partners booked into local hotel.
Next morning when I was trying to get ready to be the mother of the groom, niece phones to say their hotel had no hot water so could they come and shower etc at ours!
😂🤣

Marmight Sun 27-Oct-24 01:06:16

I feel very self conscious staying with friends or even family when creaking along the landing to the loo. Then there is the question of to flush or not . My main criteria when I last moved was to have an en suite. Just one. However I found an ex air b&b property which has an embarrassment of loos - one separate, 3 en suite, all tiny but perfectly formed (the rooms!) and one in a separate bathroom. The answer to my dreams and all visitors happy 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽. I do appreciate how very fortunate I am

DamaskRose Sat 26-Oct-24 22:03:47

Premier Inn or similar. Always.

Cabbie21 Sat 26-Oct-24 21:14:13

I have had a ( general, not specific) invitation to stay with two of my friends, each single, widowed, but I think the expectation would be to actually stay in their flats. I’m thinking they would find it weird if I were to say I was staying in a Premier Inn or similar. I guess I could arrange the accommodation first, then tell them I was going to be in the area and meet up somewhere?

ginny Sat 26-Oct-24 20:17:51

I am happy to stay with our DDs and their families. If we visit friends for more than a day we do B & b nearby.Saves them work too.

Franski Sat 26-Oct-24 20:10:48

This is an interesting thread! Growing up we were 5 kids in a small house with one loo/bathroom. It worked. But i have to say I have become quite precious about having privacy and space. If given the choice I would prefer to stay in an airbnb or BnB. But it feels awkward to say that to some friends. As though i have got too picky in my old age.

Tuaim Sat 26-Oct-24 19:58:57

Our relatives stay in a local hotel on the beach. They usually spend the evenings on their own and have dinner as they please and have some time to themselves. I could never stay with someone else as I like my space and time.

Georgesgran Sat 26-Oct-24 19:20:51

I only really stay with the DDs or Sis-in-Law and always have my own en-suite, so no problems. I’d hate to disturb others with my night-time needs!

JamesandJon33 Sat 26-Oct-24 19:20:40

We don’t have that problem when friends come here as each of our bedrooms has an en-suite. However if we visit anyone now, we stay in a Premier Inn. We like our privacy and we need not worry about bathroom trips, or sharing a shower.

RosiesMaw2 Sat 26-Oct-24 19:14:30

Premier Inn or Travelodge!

tanith Sat 26-Oct-24 18:57:51

I do worry that I might wake others if I get up in the night when staying away I never know if ‘flushing’ is going to be noisy. At my sons I share bathroom with the children and they’ve never woken up when I use the bathroom. It can be a worry though.

silverlining48 Sat 26-Oct-24 18:55:36

We have talked about this with our oldest friends and when the 3 hour drive is too much for us we plan to meet in a hotel somewhere midway which means halving our drive , and no problem with sharing bathrooms.

Skydancer Sat 26-Oct-24 18:47:00

Hate staying with people. It’s wonderful at a Premier Inn or Travelodge to have our own bathroom and not to worry about what time to get up.

cornergran Sat 26-Oct-24 18:27:04

Odd one out here. We have one bathroom containing the only toilet. Long standing friends (30 years+) still come and stay and we manage with no problem. We all have a morning cuppa, the toilet is used as needed. After time for that to happen we shower before making them aware the bathroom is free for them. While they use the bathroom I prepare breakfast. Before moving we had two bathrooms and a total of three toilets, they never have had so the ‘system’ was put in place at their home many years ago. I’m comfortable enough with them, it’s also fine with family. If newer friends wanted to come and stay I’m not so sure how I’d feel but would be open about the ‘system’ and give them the option of staying in a hotel or Airbnb. It’s not something we stress about although I do spend a lot of time cleaning the bathroom to keep it pristine for all.

Babs03 Sat 26-Oct-24 18:13:07

We generally book a hotel/B&B, did stay with a close friend for a funeral recently and it was difficult, she has a cottage with creaky floorboards and a bathroom that is right next door to her bedroom so night time visits to the loo were hardly quiet. Also we sleep separately, have done for years, so bunking up in a small double bed was uncomfortable for both of us. But that was a one off, wouldn't do it ordinarily.
Too old for all the tiptoeing about and sleepless nights.