Sorry this hs happened to you. I almost never gift anything on FB - there are no rules.
I use Freecycle or Freegle, when I reply to someone wanting my stuff I say 'if I have not heard back from you by [give date & time] then the item will be re-offered. I give a window for collection and say 'if not collected by the end of this time, will be re-offered'.
Some people are dependant on others for transport, so may appear to mess you about, but they can message to say so! If someone really annoys you, you can report to the Mods (not so on FB). However, these posts do attract a few sad individuals who can't organise themselves.
I would say that those of us who are used to this type of gifting know that many gifters don't like to be disturbed. It is standard practice to collect without knocking on the door. It is then also standard to send a 'thanks' message.
The other advantage of Freecycle / Freegle is that the groups tend to consist of folk who are used to this, they are usually much bigger groups, more likely to have crafters / DIYers, and follow the set procedure.
Not sure if this advice is too late for you, but may help others.