The 'famous' bed side manner, NOT!

The problem is, that like it or not, the word 'ladies' can be used to patronise women. It lies in the tone of voice and inflection.

I think it is best avoided.

My gp, who I went to yesterday, calls me "luv" and "darling".

My friend came with me and was outraged, but it was only when she pointed it out that I gave it a thought, really.

Everdene, I agree with you. It is a matter of just manners. He should have used your name. Lady is the polite term, not Woman.

Do you think consultants have a special code ? I was also referred to as a pleasant lady in a drs letter. Maybe they really mean anxious, over obsessed with health issues or worst of all unpleasant!!!! There was me thinking I was being singled out as “pleasant” when they use it for everybody 🥴🤣!!!

If I was getting the right treatment, I don't think I'd notice what anyone was calling me. Priorities and all that.

Hear, hear, MissAdventure, I don't mind what I'm called as long as it's to my face! I get called miss, mate, darling, luv and very sweetly.........Tosser! By my DH & boy's. 👍

I wouldn’t be happy about being referred to as “this woman” or “this lady” during a medical appointment. If there was another member of staff present, then I’d expect the doctor to refer to me by my name if necessary e.g “ Please pass me Mrs X’s test results…” or “Could you take Mrs X’s blood pressure please?”
The only time I’ve been referred to as “this ( pleasant) woman” in my hearing was when a consultant dictated his letter to the GP while I was still sitting there, just to check that I understood his conclusions and the changes to my medication.

*Waht a...

But, but, but, if you are a woman (adult human female), it's a perfectly respectable thing to call you! What. thing to get upset about, especially when this man gave you the correct treatment that you needed.

He was not being rude. How could he know you yearn to be called a lady?

Don't be ridiculous!

Yes, and I'd say we're aware of context, by the rest of the sentence.

It's all about context, of course most wouldn't take exception to being referred to as a lady or gentlemen by a doctor, hairdresser etc. One might baulk at this for example "this joke isn't really for a lady's ears" the inference being it's this is almost certainly going to be of a sexual nature and quite possibly misogynistic. In certain settings, there is a subliminal chauvanism at play in how the word lady is applied. Context is the defining factor.

That was about me, by the way, in case I offend anyone 😙

It is, I think.
Probably because it's a nice was of saying "I saw this moaning old bat"

Lilypops

A consultant I saw recently said in his letter to my gp quote “. I saw this pleasant lady today”. I was more than happy to read that. How nice.

I had that with my last consultant as well.. I think it must be standard practise..

A consultant I saw recently said in his letter to my gp quote “. I saw this pleasant lady today”. I was more than happy to read that. How nice.

I've not been corrected yet, but theres still time.

I don't find 'lady' demeaning at all. DH's consultant wrote to our GP referring to him as "this very pleasant gentleman". Was that demeaning?

The correct term is “woman”, Lady is patronizing the feminists object to that apparently.
Nevertheless I always use “Lady”. - yes, I have been corrected.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

TerriBull

I kind of know what you mean about using the word lady in certain contexts. Woman can sound kind of bald and abrupt, I admit to using lady in a deferential manner, for example with young children "mind that lady, say thank you to the lady" or referring to an unknown third party in their presence, but in other contexts I hate it, it's kind of old fashioned, "ladies don't behave like that", "ladies nights" "not in front of the ladies" as if we're still encased in tight corsets and need smelling salts should we feel faint if we hear any vulgarities that should be for men's ears only. Also if asked to describe oneself on an official form, no one would put "lady" it would always be "woman". It could be argued that the doctor was using the correct terminology.

Quite right...and I much prefer being referred to as a woman..I find lady a bit demeaning.. but it wouldn't really bother me

Although my friend and I are in our 80’s we are frequently referred to as “you guys” …. “are you guys ready to order?”
Now that does grate with me.
I would rather be referred to as you ladies or just “ are you ready to order?”

When I was at work once in a meeting (Civil Service), a male manager referred to us as ladies. He was reprimanded twice by a woman who said 'If you refer to us as ladies again, I will report you. We are women'.

TerriBull

I kind of know what you mean about using the word lady in certain contexts. Woman can sound kind of bald and abrupt, I admit to using lady in a deferential manner, for example with young children "mind that lady, say thank you to the lady" or referring to an unknown third party in their presence, but in other contexts I hate it, it's kind of old fashioned, "ladies don't behave like that", "ladies nights" "not in front of the ladies" as if we're still encased in tight corsets and need smelling salts should we feel faint if we hear any vulgarities that should be for men's ears only. Also if asked to describe oneself on an official form, no one would put "lady" it would always be "woman". It could be argued that the doctor was using the correct terminology.

Great answer! Thank you. Language use and context are so important.

In most circumstances, lady/ladies is far more polite eg in a restaurant a waiter/waitress may say ‘what can I get for you ladies?’ opposed to ‘what can I get for you women?’

I kind of know what you mean about using the word lady in certain contexts. Woman can sound kind of bald and abrupt, I admit to using lady in a deferential manner, for example with young children "mind that lady, say thank you to the lady" or referring to an unknown third party in their presence, but in other contexts I hate it, it's kind of old fashioned, "ladies don't behave like that", "ladies nights" "not in front of the ladies" as if we're still encased in tight corsets and need smelling salts should we feel faint if we hear any vulgarities that should be for men's ears only. Also if asked to describe oneself on an official form, no one would put "lady" it would always be "woman". It could be argued that the doctor was using the correct terminology.