Farting

Mojack26

Hate that word, sorry.

I agree. I would say ‘pass wind’ if I had to say it at all!

Bottom burps?

What would you use instead Mojack26? Some people say trump instead which seems very appropriate..

Hate that word, sorry.

We were moving house and had to stay with my parents. My mum is disabled and has great difficulty getting up from her chair. We had our beautiful bulldog Libby with us who decided she would now sleep in front of the TV and close to the fire. She did a silent but deadly fart and it suddenly hit everyone’s nostrils and it sent us all scattering out of the door to the kitchen (even Libby) but my mum was trapped in her chain wretching waving a magazine in front of her face. Libby has been gone for about 18 years now and my mum still tells the story of how she was abandoned in a stench filled room.

My grandchildren (boy 7 and girl 4) can do it to order. I’ve no idea how they do that but obviously they think it’s funny

Like the Royal Family and the Pope, I had a fartectomy at an early age, so am never troubled by wind.

I do remember being in a swanky hotel lounge, and a gentleman raised himself on to one buttock, released a particularly loud one, then, in an equally loud voice, announced to his wife, “ Ooh, rather gaseous tonight dear”!

Witzend

DanniRae

Our dog gets blamed and she died 2 years ago

If ghostly farts are a thing, I’m surprised nobody ever blames my long-gone father, who’d sometimes remark that he was farting like a brewer’s dray-horse. Though why such horses should be particularly farty, I never found out - unless they were fed on some very wind-producing brewers’ waste products.

That takes me back to a holiday we had in Austria, one evening we booked a carriage ride round the town to a local hostelry with other visitors. As we set off the horse let a very noisy one go. It certainly broke the ice 🤢

"More tea vicar?" was the expression used in my home seventy years ago. It has travelled down the generations and remains in current use

Apparently the first time my mother took my father to see her parents my Nanny (an inveterate farter) was sitting on a wooden chair when she let an enormous one rip. The noise was amplified and she almost bounced! She was completely unconcerned, though she was in all other respects a product of her very stiff Victorian upbringing.
My mother had a partner in her late eighties who used to fart very loudly as he walked about. He just ignored it, we never knew if he couldn't hear or feel it - or perhaps just felt so at home with me that he didn't care.
In our house we used to blame the teddy bear when the children were small, and today always say "Where's that bear?!"

Oh, what a tonic! I have tears of laughter streaming down my face!

We don't have a dog or a cat so can't blame either - we generally just say "there's a frog in 'ere again".

My grandfather used to recite;

Let the air blow free,
Church or Chapel,
Knock the priest from his prattle.

My sisters and I thought this was so naughty and so funny. We didn’t dare tell mum!

Omg this is not hilarious as my DH is the King of this !
He could & has cleared a room in his professional life .
It is constant , no let up whatsoever. He also comes up with “ oh it must be “ & placed blame on whatever he ate for breakfast, lunch , dinner 😠
It is so what tiresome to say the least ☹️

Nanny100 😅🤭

It has just struck me how sad that has made me as I am the only one left out of the four of us to remember that evening 😰

That's so funny Nanny100. I don't quite know why but it id. DH loved it too!

We had friends who had a boxer, he was notorious for clearing a room.
We went to stay with them and a friend of hers babysat while we went out for a meal.
As the key went in the front door the babysitter was out of the floor with a hasty good night.
When we went in the living room the odour met us, it was foul, I don’t know how she sat through it, we had to open windows .
It was a standing joke for many years.

Someone did it in company, and another person said “Speak Up Brown, you’re through” Which rendered me hysterical with laughter!

We once had a dog who could clear a room. OH regularly had friends around for a card evening, and doggy would manage to get under the table undetected. Invariably at some point the gentlemen would abandon their game of poker with cries of disbelief - he really was something else. Unfortunately at Christmas someone foolishly gave him leftover sprouts....

Who annoyed you !

And will anyone admit to playing ‘Guess my Fart?’

I’ve seen it on TikTok and find it hilarious

My grandad would offer the following comment upon hearing such activity:' Mother is playing her arsoleum again I hear'.

DanniRae

Our dog gets blamed and she died 2 years ago

If ghostly farts are a thing, I’m surprised nobody ever blames my long-gone father, who’d sometimes remark that he was farting like a brewer’s dray-horse. Though why such horses should be particularly farty, I never found out - unless they were fed on some very wind-producing brewers’ waste products.

Whingey

Witzend do you live in Thatcham? House called that near my family. Don't answer if you don't want to

No, the username came from rather too many years’ experience of dementia. 😩

I'm on the floor laughing here!

I did a huge one in the kitchen this morning but live alone so I sadly couldn't blame anyone else!