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I've been married for 32 years. For 32 years I have made the bed and the morning bed is all over the place, sometimes on the bed, sometimes on the floor, sometimes half on and half off. It's never been any different because we fight over the duvet. It can look like we have had a fight, a passionate night, a trauma in the bed, ten visitors, a sleepless night, arguments galore about who had more of the duvet than the other, etc. etc. We have tried double beds, king size beds, firm beds, soft beds, feather duvets, thin duvets Baa=vet wool duvets, silk duvets and now, after 32 years I have found the solution. No longer do we fight over the duvet, no longer do I fidget all night long, no longer am I up in the night because I am chilly, or he is too hot. We have bought a feather and down SUPER KING DUVET. My god! It not only stays on the bed all night long because it hangs like long arms down the sides of the bed, but it stays in one place, tucked in neatly along the bottom. It's warm and cosy and I am amazed that we are waking up in the morning and we can slide out of it as though it has never been slept in. I am amazed. What a game changer. What a waste of 32 years. I wish I had bought a super king duvet years ago. It keeps me still because there is a little bit of weight in it and we no longer fight to get a bit of the duvet. We don't have to. There is plenty of it. It's sooooo cosy. I am using a fitted sheet and a king size cotton sheet instead of a duvet cover, and during the day I put a hand sewn linen quilt over the bed to make it look nice. Well. Well. Well. Has anyone else discovered a game changer later on in life.
Babs03
Separate bedrooms.
A real game changer. My OH is cold in bed and I am like a furnace, I snore, he gets restless legs, and we both get up for the loo.
Sleeping together is like torture.
Same here, throw in bad backs which mean different mattresses and separate rooms was definitely the only thing we could do.
I like staying in hotels as they usually have sheets and blankets which I really prefer but am far too lazy to have at home.
Katyj
I wish I was so happy with my decision. I bought a super king duvet for the first time four weeks ago. Same as you fighting over the duvet. Mine, bought it from M and S is moving and leaving me uncovered, it’s all ending up on DH side.
I’ll try and tuck it in at the bottom tonight but DH is tall so it might not work.
You could turn it the other way so that the top and bottom are the sides.
It would definitely tuck in then!
Or buy a cover with a long flap/tail at the bottom to tuck in?
I gather in at least one of the Scandinavian countries it's the norm for couples to have a duvet each (presumably single size). I can see the logic of that = this one is mine/don't touch it and that one is yours and I won't touch that. You know where you stand...
I bought an electric under blanket a few weeks ago and it’s magic! Quite the game changer!
BlueBelle
I sleep (alone) in a sleeping bag under a duvet with two hot water bottles one for my feet and one to cuddle in nice furry pyjamas Snug as a bug in a rug
Oh my!
I still only have my summer duvet on and will use it all winter, my OH has a winter duvet with a thick blanket on top and an electric blanket underneath him.
I wish I was so happy with my decision. I bought a super king duvet for the first time four weeks ago. Same as you fighting over the duvet. Mine, bought it from M and S is moving and leaving me uncovered, it’s all ending up on DH side.
I’ll try and tuck it in at the bottom tonight but DH is tall so it might not work.
whywhywhy
Mine own bed, bedroom and separate house!
😂😂😂😂😂
Gosh BlueBelle think I would spontaneously combust if I had all that on in bed.
I'm still sleeping with just a sheet over me but it is unseasonably warm here.
I sleep (alone) in a sleeping bag under a duvet with two hot water bottles one for my feet and one to cuddle in nice furry pyjamas Snug as a bug in a rug
Glad you found a solution!
We have a super-king duvet on a king bed.
Our duvet cover isn't the sort with a tuck-in flap but we are very happy all the same.
We sleep with the window open and "air" the bed during the day so the duvet is zig-zagged at the foot of the bed during the day.
We went over to a super-king size years ago.
It works for us.
We have no problems despite me being always warm an OH cold because we do not have a duvet but four cellular blankets. We are then able to add or take off according to daily temperature. I can fold my side towards him if I am hot. They are often easily washed, no having to lug bedding to cleaners. If we do have to sleep under a duvet we are always too hot and too enveloped and sleep badly.
We lived in hot climates where one would not want a duvet but with coolish nights. So that is how it started and we see no reason to change and no fighting to get covers on a duvet, just unfitted sheets.
Mine own bed, bedroom and separate house!
For me life changing was learning to meditate as an older adult. It has completely changed my life. I was brought up with an erratic, tense mother, and absorbed anxiety with my mother’s milk!
Meditation, very simply, has meant I can observe thoughts and negative patterns of thinking and with much practice, learn that I don’t have to regard them, or be ruled by them. It took a couple of years of practice, and ongoing practice but it’s very liberating.
King size duvets were game changers for us simply because, even if he rolled over and took the duvet with him, there was still enough left for me.
kittylester
I can't believe you tuck a duvet in.
We have a king sized duvet each - in separate rooms.
Same here.
And I would love to have a king-size duvet. I have a double bed just for me, I have enough trouble changing that duvet cover without attempting to do a king size so it’s a no from me unfortunately.🤦♀️
I can't believe you tuck a duvet in.
We have a king sized duvet each - in separate rooms.
Just a king sized quilt on the same size bed, last one up in the morning straightens it up a bit, no problems. We do have a dual control electric blanket, it’s on for bedtime, my side only, I switch it off before we snuggle down.
Two single duvets solved the problem in this house.
I'm glad you found a solution. Like Babs for us sleeping together is torture. Separate rooms is the answer. My husband's snoring has to be heard to be believed. He's tried many remedies none of which work. We can't stay in hotel rooms either. We have to holiday in self catering places with two bedrooms.
Very pleased you found a satisfactory conclusion to your nightly battles! We each had our own douvets for a long number of years . We have now progressed from that and like Babs have separate rooms. My DH likes a heavy douvet , window closed and heavy light blocking curtains, he is also very restless during the night. I enjoy a light weight douvet ( fleece blanket at the ready if needed) my window is open slightly and I have curtains that let the light through. I need daylight!? Our relationship has improved tremendously since we made these changes! 😀. I think after 50 years of marriage we can survive separate rooms!!
Separate bedrooms.
A real game changer. My OH is cold in bed and I am like a furnace, I snore, he gets restless legs, and we both get up for the loo.
Sleeping together is like torture.
A single duvet each, thin for him, thick for me worked in solving the same push-me-pull-you 'strife' in our house.🦙🦙 🙂
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