Do you think the kindness has gone out of people?

Absolutely. Sadly, I have had to learn that so many people just aren't trustworthy.

To me there always has been individuals who are only concerned with self and have no interest in others. I believe people in general are kind or at least try to be.

Absolutely. Everyone's become suspicious and hostile, hiding behind closed doors. No one will lift a finger to help anyone anymore, at least not round here. (Unless one's paying them, that is.) And don't get me started on the mobile phone snatchers and the knife carriers. When I was much younger people used to say that people were much more friendly duting the war. NOW they say people were much more friendly in the 60's. Well, they were!

There does seem to be nostalgia for the days of closely knit working class communities.
But I assure you that among the moneyed classes, it was all dog eat dog competition. It still is.
I have received more kindness during and following my recent illness than I could possibly have expected.
Now that I'm well again, I must not forget to pass on that kindness to others who are in need of it.

So pleased there’s such a lovely agreement that there IS a lot of kindness in our world. 13th November is World Kindness Day - it’s been going for a few years now and it’s spread is growing. If you Google it you’ll find lots of information and resources. Also there’s a lovely book ‘Choose Compassion’ by James Kirby recently out - very readable and James’ enthusiasm for kindness and research bounces out of every page. The Dalai Llama said ‘If you can choose one thing, choose to be kind’ and I recently heard a lovely quote which is ‘the easiest way to be kind is to stop being unkind’. It’s all too easy to lose sight of the positive and healthy aspects of our shared humanity with the concentration of misery in the media.

You are a good person, you tried.

Jeanathome, Thankyou, but I wasn’t scared of her, she was my friend.
I was embarrassed by her, that’s so much worse

Sara1954

But we aren’t all perfect, although on the whole I think I am kind, I know that on occasion I can be unkind.
I remember times when I wasn’t especially nice to people, as a teen I had a dear friend who I thought of as a very old lady, but she can only have been sixtyish, her and her husband were extremely kind to me, and did many things my parents should have been doing.
I remember once she wanted me to go to the cinema with her, but I wouldn’t go, because we lived in a small town, and I knew I’d be embarrassed to be with her in front of half the school.
To this day, I feel really ashamed, and thinking about it brings a tear to my eye, that’s certainly not the only time I’ve been unkind, but she was so good to me, and I was an ungrateful little madam.

You did you best with what was available to you.
I remember asking at Church if there was any body I could visit.
I was a very young and naive 17 year old. The old lady slightly scared me and I never went back.

But we aren’t all perfect, although on the whole I think I am kind, I know that on occasion I can be unkind.
I remember times when I wasn’t especially nice to people, as a teen I had a dear friend who I thought of as a very old lady, but she can only have been sixtyish, her and her husband were extremely kind to me, and did many things my parents should have been doing.
I remember once she wanted me to go to the cinema with her, but I wouldn’t go, because we lived in a small town, and I knew I’d be embarrassed to be with her in front of half the school.
To this day, I feel really ashamed, and thinking about it brings a tear to my eye, that’s certainly not the only time I’ve been unkind, but she was so good to me, and I was an ungrateful little madam.

Individually I believe most people are kind, but there is a level of anger and rage between groups which is new, at least to me.
Brexit caused schism in families, among friends , communities, there were divisions about Covid vaccinations and rules of behaviour, too long isolation for everyone who followed the rules, anger with those who didn’t. . The recent election and politics has also contributed to this feeling and the wars and potential wars are a concern for many.
Yet surprisingly most people are kind.

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Exactly the same as where I live. It’s a small close with a wonderful crowd without exception. We celebrate birthdays in different bungalows. Like you a lot of us meet in our gardens.
Everyone looks out for everyone. If new people move in one of us will organise a welcome get together.
We’ve had some fantastic street parties in the past few years.
In lockdown we nobody suffered as we brought out our chairs into the close. We played charades, had quizzes.
What helps the cohesion is that we can’t have garden fences over 4ft. That means I can see lots of my neighbours in their gardens.

I think life was more difficulty in times past. This had a lot to do with the cost of World War 2. I do think that the younger generation now see no reason to be kind and people have lost respect for each other.

As I don't live in Britain, I cannot know whether Mrs Thatcher, Brexit or Covid 19 has been responsible for the changes there, but I can say, that much the same thing has happened here in Denmark since I moved here in 1970.

At that time, it was usual for strangers to converse in buses or trains and usual that people who lived in the same street or in the same block of flats knew each other by name and greeted each other when they passed on the stairs or on the pavement. If you had time, you chatted for a bit, if not, you just said good morning or evening according to the time of day.

When you moved into a flat, a neighbour would knock on the door, introduce her-or himself and say "If you need any help, just knock on our door, would you like a cup of coffee`"

We kept an eye on each other's children when they were playing, and when my parents came to visit a neighbour meeting them said, "Oh, you must be grandtante's parents, nice to meet you."

In schools pupils were supposed (and did) say good morning to every adult they passed on their way to their classrooms before school started at 8 a.m. the child wished the adult good morning, then the adult returned the greeting, using the child's name if we taught her or him, or otherwise knew the child's name.

In some firms you shook hands with your colleagues every morning and you certainly wished them good morning, and good evening every day.

In the 1980s and 90s all that changed and now we are seeing the kind of society were a lot of people, perhaps the majority, never offer to help anyone, don't bother to introduce themselves to new neighbours or colleagues, and where a vast majority of parents and teachers apparently believe it unnecessary to teach children good manners or consideration.

So, this change seems a sadly international phenomen and greatly pre-dates Brexit or Covid-19 pandemic - if anything the pandemic made quite a number of people here wonder if life might not be just a bit more enjoyable if we revived conversing in the street, offering help etc.

Nano14

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On the estate where I live there is more of a community between my closer neighbours who share a WhatsApp group.
We are mainly in the older age range and everyone rallies round when somebody is ill. As we're older we tend to be more polite I suspect!
We meet for a drink in the garden on Saturdays if the weather is nice, and have parties for celebrations of one kind or another: big anniversaries, national events, any excuse really.
I know that in many areas neighbours are simply hostile all the time which must be very tiring.

That sounds lovely. 🙂 I'd never experienced this kind of community feeling until I moved into sheltered extra care housing, 2 years ago. I was a rather anxious person, didn't like groups of more than 3 or 4 people and had always found it difficult to start a conversation. I was made so welcome, most people here are very kind, and I've been able to join in activities, parties and trips out. I still get anxiety sometimes, especially if I arrive at a meeting at last minute, and the room is full of people, but it soon settles once I get sat down. I've been able to find my voice, and even become treasurer of our community fund. There is a lot of kindness here, there are some who I wouldn't describe as kind, but neither would I describe them as unkind.

We're actually on a mixed estate, some social housing, some rentals and some owner-occupied. There are 600 flats or maisonettes in all.
Many people say hello or smile at us as we walk about, and there's very little anti-social behaviour or unkindness.
It isn't specially planned for the elderly which suits me as I like to have a mix of people around me. I feel very lucky to have landed here, my daughter has been here 12 years and now my son has moved too. Sadly it is quite an expensive place to live as we have high management fees, but for us is is worth every penny.

Labour, pensioners winter fuel allowance, and wiping out smaller family farms that are part of village communities and small local businesses.
.treating us as the kulaks were treated in Soviet Russia, taxing us out of existence..and don't get me started on the previous govt and lockdown..

Good posts. I feel the stresses of things these days compared possibly to days of old can knock the compassion out of you, which is really sad, It's still there, but underneath. I suppose it depends how you handle stress, If you struggle with accents in general, it can be very stressful sorting out issues on the phone, Frustrating to keep saying pardon and not understanding. I find a lot of issues upsetting in general with the way things have gone e.g. my daughter-in-law has to go to court tomorrow. This is because two years ago she had a slight prang in her car with another lady and the insurance companies haven't reached the conclusion so it has to go to court As the other Lady won't meet in the middle
This is why I'm now realising you do need legal cover on your insurance! And what a waste it seems of court time

I think proper true kindness is a thing of the past!

Not in my experience Having recently been seriously ill I have been overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and neighbours

I have been the beneficiary of some really sweet acts of kindness over the years.
As a child growing up, as a young single parent, people were often just kind, nothing in it for them, and some people might have said I didn’t deserve it.
But I think kindness begets kindness, and I try and to always show kindness where I can.

Do you find kindness in unexpected places, possibly from folk who struggle themselves?

If I had to offer one piece of advice to my children or grandchildren it would be to always be kind. People will often forget what you have said to them but they will always remember how you made them feel.

I live in a medium sized village. We have a resident's Facebook page. It is wonderful to see how many people respond if anyone needs anything, from my older friends and neighbours to young mums, families, men and women of all generations prepared to help anyone. I feel blessed to live here. Kindness is a very strong quality in this village. There is very little bad behaviour at all.

That is so uplifting widgeon.

I don’t believe those who post on social media regularly are necessarily representative of the majority in society, but I have noticed plenty of kindness on GN. I think most have it within themselves to be kind, but some have been hurt by adverse life circumstances and struggle to trust and see the best in others, often with good cause I stress.

Widgeon3. I think you have highlighted the meaning of kindness. The prison guard was considerate and courteous and encouraged you sit down. But the prisoner showed kindness in putting your mind at rest which he didnt need to do. But kindly did. I think it is the human touch as well. The pat on the hand.