Calling parents by their Christian names

My Sister and brother in law used to call their parents, my in-laws, by their Christian names back in 70s they never battered an eye lid, my DH never did. I think my sister in law thought it was a bit rebellious and her younger brother just followed suit. In all fairness they introduced themselves by their Christian names when I met them and to their children's friends who came to their house. They always had an open door policy.

My husband thought he would be hip and wanted the kids to call him by his first name. It all stopped when one of them asked me if they had to because a friend called him weird

Some families use first names some don’t. I don’t think it’s disrespectful. I suppose it gives a feeling of belonging and security to be known as Mum, Dad, Auntie, Gran etc. but we are also individuals, which sometimes gets lost.

What I do think is impersonal and make me cringe are birthday cards with to my wonderful mum/dad etc with sentimental verses.

My mother-in-law, who was very old school, asked me to call her either Mother, or by her Christian name. I did neither! My husband called her Mother, but it just didn’t ring true for me and using her Christian name felt disrespectful.
My children sometimes call me Mother, when they want to tick me off, but Mum most of the time. My grandchildren still call their parents Mummy and Daddy even though they are older teenagers.
We tend to avoid using actual names in our family though.

Two of my GC sometimes use their parents' given names, but usually call them 'Mum' and 'Dad'. None of them would ever call me anything but 'Granny'. My most recent DiL tried to call me 'Mum'', but I couldn't bring myself to answer to that, so she got the message and uses my given name, as do my other DiLs.
I don't think our generation would ever have called their parents by their given names.

I do not think they signify anything to do with your special relationship

Think whatever you like. I haven’t denigrated your decision to be called whatever you like by your children so please don’t denigrate my decision. I don’t care what others choose to be called, that is their choice after all, and my choice is to be called mum, and nana, because I love those names. To me they signify the special relationship I have with my children and grandchildren. Equally I loved calling my own mother mum, and calling my father dad, or sometimes daddy, even as an adult, because they were not only my mother and father, but my own special mum and dad.

There’s no need to criticise the choices of others, just because your choice is different. My choice hurts no one, neither does yours, except that you chooses to criticise, so let’s leave one another to make their perfectly harmless choices.

My parents were always mum & dad but my maternal grandparents only ever by their first names. I’ve often wondered why.

Dad was always Dad. Mother was Mum when we were younger but when we were in our teens we called her Dolly (real name Dorothy). She loved that and said it made her feel younger.

If the parents are happy and the children are happy is it anyone else's business?

Our children call us Mum and Dad, in-Laws by our Christian names. I called my mother Mummy until she died, I was 43. My stepfather, by his Christian name, that's until grandson came along, and they both turned into Nonna and Poppa. Our grandchildren call us Granna and Grandpa. My two maternal uncles were both young when I was born, 22 and 15, and they were called by their Christian names as was my elder uncles wife . However, friends of my parents were always Uncle or Auntie, as were my maternal Great Aunts.

My daughters call me Mum or Mumma. I’m known as Marmight by my sons in law and my grandchildren all know me by a name chosen when I became a grandmother - (not granny/nanna/grandma) and their friends also call me that which I find endearing. I’d find it odd if my DDs called me by my Christian name.

Mt61 and madalene

mum, mummy, nana etc aren't ^ names^. I do not think they signify anything to do with your special relationships. As someone said upthread, anyone can be a mother/grandmother etc. They may not even be liked.

If they love you it doesn't matter what they call you. Your name (or position in family) does not prove love.
I love my mother-in-law. I call her by her first name.

& that’s how it should be 😊

It was trendy in the 60s to call your parents by their first names; we never did but then it was our children to do so - mine never did.
I was really sad when I was old enough to be called Mrs. gM, and be still called by my first name! I feel I have earned the respect of Mrs., if only by my “great age”

madalene

My adult children call me mum, they called me mummy when they were small. My grandchildren call me nana. I love these names, they signify the special relationship between us. Like henetha, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My children switched to Mum and Dad (from Mummy and Daddy) at some point - I think it sounds a bit odd when adults use Mummy and Daddy), and their partners and friends all use my given name (well, the shortened version I prefer).

As a child we always used Mr, Mrs and Miss for adults, apart from close friends of my parents who were honorary Aunts and Uncles. Calling adults by their given names was shocking . My children’s friends called me Doodle as soon as they could talk though. I wouldn’t have minded either way, really, it’s just that life had become much less formal. I couldn’t bring myself to call my friends’ parents by given names even as an adult. One in particular used to say ‘Call me Ermintrude’ (not her real name!) and I did try, but just couldn’t. I’d known her all my life and she was always Mrs X.

When I was about to deliver my son and my parents had come to help, my 3-year-old daughter, who'd always called me Mommy, heard my parents calling me by my first name, so she tried it out. My mom was horrified. Thought it was some sort of disrespect (she was born in 1930 and very old school). I said, "She can call me whatever she wants so long as she does it with love." Today I refer to my parents by Mom/Dad or their first names depending on to whom I'm speaking with and what they think of them as.

My son when a toddler called me by my first name I assumed because he heard everyone calling me by name. He did eventually call me mum it didn’t bother me what he called me.

When my mum became ill with dementia she ignored us when being called mum but did answer when we called her by name.

My GC call me nanny then my first name I like it because it’s informal as it should be. I was brought up to call both my grans grandma then their surname so ridiculously formal.

madalene

My adult children call me mum, they called me mummy when they were small. My grandchildren call me nana. I love these names, they signify the special relationship between us. Like henetha, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

& that’s how it should be 😊

henetha

My various d.i.l's call me by my first name, which I like. But to my sons I'm Mum and always have been and wouldn't want it any other way.

My MIL, wanted to know why I didn’t call her mum! I didn’t say it, but I thought in my head, I don’t, because I already have a mum- I just smiled & shrugged

My adult children call me mum, they called me mummy when they were small. My grandchildren call me nana. I love these names, they signify the special relationship between us. Like henetha, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If it’s bio mum & dad, I totally find it disrespectful. My friend always called her dad Eric - mind you, she turned all hippyish so probably wasn’t that weird to her 🙄

My various d.i.l's call me by my first name, which I like. But to my sons I'm Mum and always have been and wouldn't want it any other way.

MissAdventure

Anyway, why aren't we "allowed" to say Christian name on here???

The thread police object.

TerriBull

My son did it once calling from a distance to dad at a social gathering outside, aged about 13. It went something like this, "dad, dad dad, dad, daaad, daaaad, Daaviiid (not real name) worked though! Selective deafness, it's what we do! Parents that is

Yes, DGD did that when she was tiny and struggling to say Grandad. A big sigh, a tut then "Oh! John!"

Why was it a mistake?